Crime Hits Home!

You can talk about violent crime all you want. You can fear it, you can excuse it, you can glorify it, but until you experience it, shut the fuck up.

Max's Mom was coming out of a grocery store the other afternoon like she had a thousand other times. Putting her groceries in the trunk like a thousand times before. But leaving her purse in the cart like only once before. This time. A Dodge Charger with two predators lurked nearby. They spotted the purse and leaped into action. A woman got out of the car and quickly came at Max's Mom. Max's Mom, a trusting sort, politely asked the woman if she wanted the cart. The woman said nothing. She grabbed the purse and began to tug, but Max's Mom instinctively tugged back to protect the 5 or so bucks because ahhh fuck you. The woman then began to punch Max's Mom, not a fighter, in the face, but she held onto that goddamned purse because hey fuck off. Max's Mom went down in a puddle of water and gunk and the woman was still determined to get that purse. Punching away until the man in the car grabbed her and said something like "this isn't working lets go", the two jack offs got back into the car and drove away, where they assaulted another woman a couple of miles away and did get her purse, after throwing her down some stairs.

Max's Mom has to be checked out by paramedics and sustained bruising to her face and a fat lip which from the side make her look almost Daffy Duck like. But the damage was way more than physical. The mental damage was devastating. She cannot stop crying. She cannot stop picturing this crazed woman coming at her and assaulting her without saying a word. She cannot stop thinking about how she thought she was going to die. For what? A purse? For money? For what?

You can say she should have given up the purse. Yeah that's probably true. But what would you do if someone began trying to take something of yours? Resist? Of course you would. I have always thought that the chances of me being killed in a situation like that is higher than normal because trust me, I'd fight to my own death to fuck people like that up. Oh I know I'd lose, but I'd go down trying. Max's Mom is the sweetest person I may have ever known. She is giving to a fault. Had this crazed woman walked up and asked for the $5 in her purse, she would have gotten it as a matter of charity. But no, people like that just take what they want. Violently.

Anyway, these two assholes were arrested today for the assaults on both Max's Mom and the other woman pushed down stairs for a her purse. The woman is 20. 20 goddamned years old and facing mandatory jail time because she was so hardened by whatever to take something that doesn't belong to her and becoming violent when denied. The man is 25 and probably no fucking good. And influential enough to take a 20 year old down with him.

I just hope that Max's Mom comes out of this intact. I think she will. She's strong and won't let two creeps take her spirit. But for now, she's scared silly.

Meanwhile, as for me, I'm just pissed. Pissed cuz I cannot do anything. I wasn't there. I just had to help clean up the mess of a woman I love in tatters. For that reason, I won't forgive. I hope they both rot.

Lawrence Phillips!

Lawrence Phillips was the 2nd best running back (Billy Sims was #1) I've ever seen in person. I remember on a day in September of 1995 in East Lansing, Michigan sitting in the end zone with my Dad and some friends and seeing Lawrence Phillips run right at us on numerous occasions as nobody could stop him. He ran for 4 touchdowns that day, he ran for over 200 yards, and he kicked Nick Saban's ass. Arguably one of the greatest college football teams ever and since I'm prejudiced it was the greatest ever, Lawrence Phillips went back to Lincoln that night on top of the world. While we were drinking with Sparty fans that night, Lawrence Phillips, back in Lincoln, got a call. Somebody and nobody has ever owned up to it, told him that his girlfriend was with a teammate. Phillips went over to the teammates apartment, hell it was Scott Frost, climbed up the side of the building like a deranged Spiderman, entered the apartment, and the top of the world became the depths of hell. Everybody knows that he beat her up, dragged her by the hair down 3 flights of stairs, and his teammate hid in the bathroom. And the downward spiral of Lawrence Phillips began. He's dead now.

It's easy to say good, another convict is dead. The world is just that much lighter. He deserved all he got. Dismiss him as another bad apple who should have never seen the light of day.

I really don't think like that. I am not one who dances on graves. I am not one who celebrates the killing of people. That is as damaging to the human psyche as growing up in group homes, having no parents, being discarded as trash, made fun of, thinking of ones self as worthless. That is damage hard to overcome. And if you celebrate the death of Lawrence Phillips, what the hell happened to you you dont want to admit? Unless of course you are a Trump supporter, then there's no hope you'll ever look inside yourself for answers, you're just an asshole.

Lawrence Phillips was recruited by Tom Osborne to Nebraska out of high school. Phiilips had found his way by playing football. Osborne, who is a man of inner peace AND yes egomania, thought getting Lawrence out of Baldwin Hills and into the sleepy town of Lincoln would help him. And of course it would help Coach Tom win games. And it did. Quid pro quo. You help me, I help you.

But damage done to an 18 year old kid for ohhhhhh 18 years, doesnt get solved overnight. Guys like Phillips don't go from being abused and forgotten to The Waltons in a day and a half. The damage is always there. Like lead in the Flint, Michigan water supply. Phillips was a damaged kid. And despite the efforts of the only father he ever knew, Osborne, that night in September 1995 happened. Another perceived betrayal. Hey I am not excusing anything this guy did, I am just trying to both understand and explain.

Osborne threw him off the team the next day, rather, he suspended him. Some of us, me included, thought he should never have been allowed back on the filed like he was in November of 1995 against Iowa State. I was there that day and very very few people cheered when he entered the game. Very few. Anyone who says different is lying.

Another thing that bothers me about that whole deal. They say, and by they I mean people with their heads up their asses, say Tom Osborne reinstated Phillips because he needed him to win a national title. Bullshit. Ever heard of Hall of Famer Ahman Green? Yeah he was Phillips' backup. So though I am not an Osborne apologist (go ahead ask me about Tom's alleged sainthood and you'll get an earful), I will defend him in this instance. Nobody was going to beat Nebraska that year. Shit, Wilson Phillips could have run for 100 yards with that offensive line.

Lawrence Phillips is a tragedy. A waste of talent. A sad sad story. A story so common anymore that it just makes me shake my damn head more than anything. The self righteous reaction to this whole 20 year downfall really pisses me off.

Yes we know, if YOU had been given the opportunity he had, you wouldn't have blown it. For chrissakes, middle class white people have no fucking clue what guys like Phillips have been through. Their damage may come from one year they didn't get to go on spring break or didn't get the Air Jordans the whined about. Phillips' damage is real. It's not a fender bender, it's a violent head on collision.

So he's dead at age 40. Hanging in a cell I assume one day after he was cleared for trial on killing his cell mate, another fine example of damaged goods. So go ahead and celebrate it if you wish. I choose not to.

Lawrence, you may have been the greatest I ever saw, if, the damage hadn't been so great that your life was declared totalled. I can still see you running right at me that day. RIP man.

Obamaha!

The President came to Omaha today.The local news blabbered on and on and basically ruined the watching. But then the speech. And oh what a speech it was. Classic Obama.

Some notes.

1) The Rich Kid who is Governor of this state thanks to the R next to his name and the fact he ran against an even bigger asshole in the primary at first refused to greet the President at the airport. Not because his rock solid right wing nutjob principles wouldn't allow him to do so but because he was working so hard on his State of the State Address......wait....what the fuck is that? The State of the State? What state? State of what? I didn't even know this state had a state.

2) The Rich Kid changed his decaying mind and decided he would be found out as a small and petty man and decided to join the Mayor of Omaha who of course does not agree with anything Obama says but went to greet him cuz she's misguided but not small and petty. The Rich Kid then went back to writing his speech nobody gives rat's ass about.

3) Local news sucks no matter where you are. Goddamn, if I heard one more time the fact the blonde dumb chick and the plastic haired dimwit saw a car driving on a street and just had to tell you about it I was gonna run into traffic myself.

4) The local right wing radio station couldn't stop for one day hammering home the marching orders from the Heritage Foundation including one host who said, out loud, he wouldn't walk across the street to piss on Obama. Classy.

5) I like Obama. I really do. I think what he has put up with in the last 7 years is unprecedented. However, let the black dude loose. Who gives shit what the opposition thinks? They fucking hate you. You're black. So give em what they expect. One mad motherfucker. It's kind of gettin there, but its not yet enough to make little old white ladies think he's going to boil them and eat them.

So long, President Obama. Could you possibly have perhaps taken the Rich Kid with you?

Bowie!

I cannot believe it. Hey Man, RIP.

Please Turn It To Anything Else!

Living right across the river from the state where politicians tend to ass kiss and declare the love of corn and appeal to the religious nutjobs who permeate small towns I must also witness the television ads that are now part of the horridness of watching local news so you can see how many people got hurt in car wrecks (yes this is actual news here). The local news on occasion is awesome the other 99% is unwatchable. And now that the political ads have started, well, it's a chore.

The mouth that continues to roar is up and running his ad. The Trump nitwit parade has not only come to the local area in person, it is now telling everyone who will listen how the reality show star will cut heads off and steal cheap oil and ban all the Muslims from entering our beloved white enclave until " we figure out what is going on". That never fails to make me laugh, and then shake my head and eventually weep that this con man is in danger of winning a major political parties nomination. Oh good lord, of course he's not going to win, he is finished....what's that? He went up 5 more points?

The Trump ad is in its own way, pure unadulterated genius in its appeal to people who have no idea how things work, nor care. They want simplicity because it's simple and it brings them up to the level of the people they hate. Anybody who takes the time to learn of anything other than who will win The Voice. Strength in numbers. A political lynch mob. Hey all these people around me are just like me and yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!! Lets go back to the 1950's and after a few more Emmett Tills everything will be back the way it was when whitey ruled. And the top tax rate was 90%. Huh?

Another ad that has begun running for the wunderkind that desperate Republicans are turning to for guidance, Marco Rubio. Slapped with more pancake makeup than has been seen since Lillian Gish was running from the black faced rapists in Birth of A Nation, Rubio talks calmly about what a rapist bad bad leader Obummer is by appealing to the you can't do two things at once crowd. Rubio, perhaps the whitest Cuban who ever lived, in his pasty white face makeup goes to the card that all dummies love....Hey ISIS (if ya had any balls Marco you'd call them Daesh like that wimpy John Kerry does)is around so everything else is undo able. No action on anything until ISIS is gone. You know that guy. The well look at Chicago where the coloreds blacks are killing each other so why bother caring about the cops killing them crowd. The one thing at a time bunch. Rubio is after that mob.

Ted Cruz, the guy sailing along in Trump's drift, ready to pounce when Trump finally bows out. Letting Trumps racism and idiocy make himself look reasonable when he himself is far worse. Cruz is running ads where he goes back to that old Obummer gutted the military card. That golden oldie. Democrats hate the military. You know, cuz they don't start as many unnecessary wars that turn your hopeless children from small town loser to hero. Cruz, who I still insist could lick his nose if not stick his tongue right up into his diseased Canadian brain, is really the worst of them all. His ideas are not only wrong, but dangerous. And he waits, for the fanatics who make up Republican Iowa caucus goers, to bring the torches and ropes to the schools and fire stations of Iowa on that cold night in February where they will take back 'Murca for Jesus. The real Jesus not that illegal Hay-zeus.

And finally there's the hands of Doc Ben Carson. Talk about a guy wanting to lose! Reasonable and low key. Let's all join hands and make this country great. What the fuck is he thinking? Cmon Doc, where's the hate and bigotry and fear? You were in 2nd, now you'll be lucky to even get one overall clad dude to waddle over to your corner.

Oh political season in Iowa, and by really bad osmosis, us.

The Hateful Eight!

What can I say? Did I ever tell you I think Quentin Tarantino is one sick fuck? I mean the guy is a nutcase along the lines of Mel Gibson's fascination with torture porn fetish but with an unhealthy need to go even further and throw in a few n bombs (about 60 or so here) along the way. Good gawd! The Hateful Eight is one sick piece of bloody garbage. But that in itself doesn't make it unwatchable. Because in the 167 minutes of this post Civil War gorefest, Tarantino proves again he CAN write some of the best dialogue you've ever heard, and some of the most juvenile bullshit you haven't heard since you were in the playground in 7th grade with your dumbfuck buddies. Love/Hate? You are correct.

Love!

1)The Hateful Eight is beautifully shot. It would have made a great IMAX travelogue about the mountains. Phenomenal cinematography.

2) Samuel L Jackson - there is no way that anybody writes dialogue for this guy. They just turn on the camera and let this guy go. Sam, you're a bounty hunter, a former Union officer, and everybody hates you and calls you a n****r every 2 or 3 minutes. Go with it. And he does, motherfucker. He is great. Well, except when he has to recite Tarantino written dialogue about marching some naked dude through the snow and then making him, uhhhhhhh, well, it aint pretty and it aint even clever. It's just like a 14 year old wrote it.

2)Kurt Russell-- a combination of Yosemite Sam and well, Yosemite Sam. Russell throws out the insults though a gigantic mustache while chained up to a beaten to a pulp Jennifer Jason Leigh. Yeah, he's great. Except when he has to, oh hell, that's in the hate section.

4) Walton Goggins, Bruce Dern, Michael Madsen, Tim Roth, Demian Bichir (the guy from The Bridge), and even Jennifer Jason Leigh most of the time. They are all great actors, forced to spew Tarantino's words like hot and cold running shower water...........ahhhhhhhh nice and warm ...Holy shit who flushed the fucking toilet...........shit, its ice cold.....

5) The story. It's a like a giant Clue game. Who's the bad guy? Is it the butler in the library with the knife? Hey man, it's the Hateful Eight. Figure it out.

Hate!

1) Jennifer Jason Leigh. Not her personally, but the way she's treated in this tribute to racist, misogynistic, Trump like behavior. She spews out the N bomb so many times, that every time Kurt Russell or whoever belts her in the mouth it seems that because she is such a racist C word, that justifies beating her face to a pulp. And the audience laughs. Ha, look her teeth is all gone now. I found it a bit disturbing.

2)The blood. Oh for fucks sake, come on. I know it's a cartoon, but Tarantino, who as I stated can write some of the best dialogue ever (see first 20 minutes of Inglorius Basterds), chooses to go over the top time and time again. And the audience laughs up a storm. Look his head came clean off....hahahahaha. Again, a bit disturbing. What exactly IS the budget for fake blood in Tarantino movies?

3) That scene with Sam Jackson and the naked guy in the snow. So over the top. Nobody is gonna buy that, other than a dumb Bruce Dern, who because he's a stupid racist too, gets what's coming to him. Ugh!

4) Jennifer Jason Leigh's pivotal scene. It's torture porn, it's woman hating, and it's a scene of lingering snuff film type film making that should bother anybody who watches it. It did me. But hey, she done mouthed off too much, right?

The Hateful Eight! If you can't stop yourself from seeing it for the really great parts of dialogue, go ahead, it's worth it I guess. But for the rest of it, the gore, the gore, the gore, the gore, the n bombs, the gore, the misogyny, the gore, the racism, the gore, the gore, it may a be a long endeavor.

And just one more thing. Working the n bomb into a story that takes place during slavery times (Django) is one thing, but this time, come on? Ok, fine Max's Dad, thats how people talked back then. They dropped the N word like crazy right to a N words face, even if he was holding a gun. Really? And you know this how? It gets old. Really old. Really fast. I don't need to be constantly reminded of who is the bad guy or gal because the are so fucking stupid to call Sam Jackson a n****r to his face. I fucking get it, QT. I do.

2 Long Hours!

First of all Happy New Year! Ok now that the tripe is out of the way cuz I have no say in how anybody's New Year goes, the annual New Years Eve ritual of staying off the streets and going to the movies is now over.

Being an old, New Years Eve is really nothing to get excited about. Two shitty football games, won by Southern teams who cheat better than the rest of the teams, Times Square revelers pimping a gym and not even noticing cuz hey its a free top hat and that makes me cool, and drunken CNN anchors telling Joan Rivers Lite she has a nice rack. Perhaps the greatest moment ever on CNN and that's not a high bar. So to avoid all that nonsense, and not consider ones self a total loser by going to sleep at 10 pm, we go to the movies where we celebrate hard with 10 or 11 others who had the same idea. Yay!

The Big Short was the movie of choice. It's a fine movie with lots of great actors, Steve Carell, who is shedding that MIchael Scott vibe better and better by the day, Christian Bale who is just never bad no matter what he does, Brad Pitt, who some dismiss as a lightweight pretty boy and with whom I couldn't disagree with more, Melissa Leo, in some weird cataract glasses and then the guy I can't stand, Ryan Gosling, in some strange dyed black hair and his usual understated persona. ZZZZZZZZZ! The guy just sends me into a trance.

Yes, the system is rigged. The "good guys" make a lot of money screwing the "bad guys" but the bad guys already have it rigged so they will make billions even when they get "screwed" over. The goddamned movie will make you sick to your stomach. And it will definitely make you stick a Bernie Sanders sticker on your car. Fuck Wall Street. Calm down, Max's Dad. It's over...let it go...until it happens again in 5 years.....

But the thing that made me even angrier was not the past....but what's coming up in the future.......and that includes this upcoming Michael Bay Benghazi movie called 13 Hours. The trailer played before the Big Short and oh my goodness, did it look like a complete masturbatory porno for right wing Hillary haters. Lots of muscular tough guys with guns including Micheal Scott's nemesis Jim Halpert (??) , and Pornstache from Orange is the New Black (??) to give conservatives everywhere a rager. I have no idea when Optimus Prime shows up and saves the day but the trailer for this piece of shit is just infuriating.

I won't go see it of course, just like I "didn't' go see that salute to liars and bigots "American Sniper". But plenty of people will cuz stuff blows up and a bunch of tough meatheaded 'Murcan soldiers will defy orders given by that wimp Obama and his lil bitch Hillary and go into the streets of Benghazi and attempt to save the day just to be stifled by that wimpy Obama and that anti-American Hillary, who has that husband with the wandering penis and blah blah blah....

Oh it will be grand...and I'm sure there's a scene of Obama and Hillary sitting in the war room laughing uncontrollably as heroic Americans die........Hey Hill, look at that guy, he just got his head blown off by my Islamic bro, hahahahahaha.......

Anytime you see anything called The "Secret History" of something, especially from the right, you can be rest assured, much like "based on a true story" that anything that follows is 100% Grade A bullshit.

So go ahead Hillary haters. Relive the 1970s by going to an actual theater showing porn. But take this tip from Max's Dad, sit in the back row. You never know, other than the bullets onscreen, what may come fling from behind you. Bennnnnnnnnghaaaaaaaaaaziiiiiiiii!!!