Mother No Oh Mother, Blood Blood!

Good God, like we haven't seen enough of these nutty Republicans over the last few months, they have to bring back the one who started this descent into craziness? George W Bush is pimping his book all over Teabag America and telling crazy stories about how he was the voice of reason before invading the wrong country and how the low moment of his disastrous reign of error wasn't 9/11 or thousands of drowning fellow Americans in New Orleans but when some "singer" told the nation that he didn't care about black people? Well Jesus, Duh, Kanye!

But nothing explains the Bush psyche' better than the story of Babs and the fetus. Seems Barbara Bush had a miscarriage back before she turned into a George Washington impersonator and showed teenage George W his little brother or sister in a jar. What the fuck??? Gawdammmm.....No wonder he became a drunk. In fact I need a drink myself after hearing that. I wonder if there's a movement to nominate Fetus Bush/Palin in 2012?

Usa Hussein? I Thought There Were Only Uday And Qusay!

Yeah that's a sign at a church in Harlem put up by a criminal, Pastor David Manning. Manning is a jailbird from way back who decided after 3 1/2 years in a cage to change his former criminal ways to a whole new brand of criminal ways. Religion.

If we locked up every religious criminal (boy would that be great or what?) they'd have to throw all the pot smokers out on the street and thanks to the voters in the whole United States (after all everything starts in Caleefornia)we cannot do that.So Manning continues to run his con and get all sorts of fans.

Like Ann Coulter. He tweeted the picture around exclaiming that he had a new church. Then the Snow Grifter from Wasilla forwarded Mr.Coulter's tweet onward to her mouth breathing fans. And now, The Snowbilly has withdrawn the tweet as an "accident". Come on, Parasailin', pay that 10 year old Hindu kid who does your tweets more so "accidents" like that don't happen again.

As for Mr.Coulter, I'd like to kick him right in his nutsack.

Dude, They Should Make Votin' Easy Like American Idol!

Nice going,slackers! You stayed home and let the old, scooter ridin' Medicare suckers determine your future. 10% of the voters were under 30 and 25% of the voters had one foot in the crematorium. You can be baked to a crisp and figure that math aint gonna fly. Oh well, at least the teabaggers cost themselves the Senate.

Vote!

Vote today. Or do you want this guy to win? It's that simple. Please vote.

Teabag Nation- Douchebag Edition!

The final category for the Teabaggers is the douchebags, the wingnuts, the disgraces. The ones who are already there or about to be.

1)Joe Barton (R-Tx)--- this is the guy who apologized to British Petroleum for letting our Gulf get in the way of their felonious ways. If the Republicans take control of the House, this goofy sonuvabitch is in line to chair the Energy and Commerce Committee, a truly frightening scenario. Perhaps Texas seceding is a good thing.

2)John Culberson (R-Tx)--- is there a pattern emerging already? WTF is up with Texas? Freaking secede already! Culberson once wrote a letter to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton regarding the most pressing problem of our time. The British travel ban on Michael Savage. She responded to have Savage change his name back to Weiner and travel at will (I made that part up). He's also one of the Birthers who wants to see Obama's birth certificate. And he's in the House to stay.

3) Paul Broun (R-Ga)--- this douchenozzle is already in Congress also. He has compared Obama to Hitler and claimed Obama would establish a "Gestapo-like" security force to enforce health care. He also referred to the Civil war as "the great war of Yankee aggression". And that was in 2010! This knuckledragging nitwit is also poised to head the House Science Committee if the Republicans win the House.

4) Virginia Foxx (R-NC)---she may be the dumbest member of Congress. That's saying something. She has voted against aid to Hurricane Katrina victims, voted no on renewing the Voting Rights Act and called the Matthew Shepard murder a "hoax". She has also said that the health care bill is a bigger threat than any terrorist. Kind of like she is athreat to North Carolina's collective IQ.

5)Jean Schmidt (R-Oh)--- a dead ringer for that crazy teacher in Donnie Darko, Schmidt recently lectured 6 year olds on the evils of abortion. Some may never recover since most of them were squarely in the stork brings babies corner. She has agreed with birthers on video. She also recently asked or an apology from an anti-tax group that had a cake made with her Margaret Hamilton like mug on it. Why? Because they cut it up and ate it. Obviously another assassination attempt. She's Bat Schmidt crazy.

6) Ben Quayle (hopefully nothing-AZ)--- the son of the dopiest Vice President ever actually makes his old potatoe head father seem quaint and somewhat charming. He's run a TV ad calling Obama "the worst President in history". He was the lead sexter on the "Dirty Scottsdale" website. He sent out a flyer with pictures of his wife and kids yet he has no kids. They were loaners apparently. Quayle trails in the polls and will not win. That's the great thing about America, we don't elect the sons of ex-Veeps or ex-Presidents. Oops!

7) Marsha Blackburn (R-Tn)---this blonde harpie almost got into a fistfight with Al Gore when she implied he was a climate change advocate for his own greed. She rails against Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid. She has railed against money spent on Katrina victims. Blackburn is truly a sweet talking mean girl. Don't let that southern drawl fool ya. She's every bit as nasty as that screeching bandsaw from Alaska.

8) Allen West (Nut-Fl)--- a retired (thank god) lieutenant colonel running for Congress in Florida has claimed to have a higher security clearance than President Obama. This despite the fact the Army ran him out of town for firing a pistol near an Iraqi man's head during an interrogation. He recently claimed 47% of Americans pay no taxes and still are "able to vote for their own entitlement programs – be it free healthcare, free education, free cars, free cellphones ". What does West know about taxes? He had a bit of an $11,000 IRS problem himself. And the guy is winning?

9)Trent Franks (R-Az)--- this sun baked sot has called Obama "an enemy of humanity". He's also claimed blacks were better off as slaves than they are now. He asked the House Sergeant at Arms to look for "Muslim spies" on congressional committees. Franks is living proof that Arizona and its 24-7 stove top heat causes brain rot.

10) Lee Terry (R-Ne)--- so completely unknown that Evil Dick Cheney once referred to him as "Terry Lee" while campaigning for him, this Nebraska nerd is my congressman. So allow me to rant on this dork. He wins, but by decreasing margins each time. If his district was Omaha alone, he would be back in his law office chasing his tail. But because the Republican hacks in the Nebraska legislature gerrymandered his district to include a county full of miltary retirees, he wins by 3 or 4 points each time. Terry is as worthless a congressman as there is. He does whatever he's told, is fully owned by the drug companies, can change his stripes to whatever audience he's lying to and hides behind others while defending himself in his TV ads. Terry is truly a geek, a dork AND a nerd. That's his greatest accomplishment. Go away!

The douchebags of the right make life difficult. Some of them are entrenched, revealing many American voters to be douchebags themselves. But many can be thrown away after Novemeber 2nd. let's make sure it happens. Vote, Damn it!

Teabag Nation- Winner's Edition

There are teabaggers who are going to win their elections on Tuesday. After all, there are always nuts running around Congress elected by nuts back home. It's inevitable, but this year is different. Some of these teabaggers are plain crazy. Crazy doesn't win. Or does it? Here are some crazies who may win.

1) Sharron Angle--- There are two bad things a candidate can be. Stupid or crazy. It's seldom you ever see both. Sharon Angle is both. And she has a real shot at getting sent to D.C. by stupid and crazy Nevada-ans. Oh you all know Sharon Angle by now. Second Amendment remedies. Making rapey lemons into rapey lemonade. The press should ask questions she likes. You look Asian. Medicare and Medicaid are against the first commandment. Running away from TV reporters. Christ, she doesn't even know how to spell "Sharon". This is the woman who refuses to talk to the press any longer because they have the audacity to report the stupid shit that comes out of her piehole. Come on, Nevada, Harry Reid is a spineless weasel, but Sharron Angle is Forrest Gump. Stupid is as stupid does.

2) Rand Paul--- this guy makes his loony old man look normal. Paul is so nutty he doesn't even know he's nutty. He started off his campaign to become Senator from Kentucky by telling Rachel Maddow he doesn't really think anybody who owns a business should be forced to deal with minorities if they don't want to. He called Obama "un-American" for not kowtowing to those earth rapists at BP. He dismissed mine fatalities by stating "sometimes accidents happen". Man, that's the truth if I ever heard it. Rand Paul is about to becomes a United States Senator.

3)John Raese---West Virginia was at least smart enough once to not want to be a part of Virginia. Then after they split they went off and came up with the new name "West Virginia"? Well maybe not so smart. John Raese is a teabagger out to replace Robert Byrd in the Senate. Raese is one of those guys who runs all the time and loses all the time. But this time, Raese may win. He has brought in serial adulterer and animal murderer, Ted Nugent and serial dumbass, The Quitta from Wasilla to campaign for him and his stupid ideas. Do away with the minumum wage? In West Virginia they like this idea? Really? Oh yeah, it's West Virginia.

4)Ken Buck---this Colorado cuckoo is in real danger of becoming a Senator. This guy is too crazy for the pro-lifers there as they yanked their endorsement the other day. Buck, probably most famous for dissing the birthers as "dumbasses", is living proof of that blind squirrel finding a nut proverb. He's called the President the greatest threat to the nation, wanted to repeal the 17th Amendment and then didn't, probably after he read the damned thing and throws the word "bullshit" around like nickels. Not that I object to the word "bullshit", I just object to bullshitters using it so much. Buck also objects to that old "separation of church and state" bullshit that so baffles the Delaware duo. As a former prosecutor Buck has said that a rape victim suffered from "buyer's remorse". Come on, Colorado, come down to the normal air, wise up, and send this goof home.

5) Louie Gohmert--- he's already in office. A Congressman from , where else? ,Texas. He's claimed that terrorist cells are creating terrorist fetuses to eventually blow up Americans in about 20 or 30 years. Wonder how pro-life he is on those terrorist blastocysts?

6) Michele Bachmann and Steve King--- the Morticia and Gomez Addams of the House of Representatives are probably both going back to the Congress where they will praise each other on the floor and call each other stunning. Why don't these two just get a rubber room? I wonder what happens when Bachmann speaks French to King. Oh yeah, that would require way too much intellect on either's part. Iowa and Minnesota are such common sense places. Except in two places apparently.

7) Carly Fiorina--- Oh she's not really a teabagger, nor is she going to win, but she is a conjoined twin to Meg Whitman. In other words, she has the compassion of a pissed off cobra. Outsourcing 200,000 jobs and running Hewlett Packard into the ground while collecting millions in compensation? Oh yeah, California, send that hack to Washington D.C. She is sooooooo yesterday.

8) Dino Rossi--- never heard of him? Well, he has a real chance of becoming the next Teabagger Senator out of Washington. This foreclosure profiteer has been another one of those O'Donnell perennial losers who run for everything and win nothing. Kind of like me in a 5K race. But I'm no danger to the republic. Rossi is. Or rather his supporters are. A Rossi supporter threatened Patty Murray supporters with a meat cleaver, another Rossi fan went all Rand Paul supporter on some Rossi protestor by attacking her in front of Republican HQ. Washington, calm down. And re-elect Patty Murray.

9) Linda McMahon--- the former CEO of a wrestling organization that glorifies idiocy and misogyny, Vince's beard, errr, wife has spent $50 million of her own money in an attempt to get to the Senate. I wonder if she knows that life in the Senate, as ridiculous as it appears, is real. Bruno Sammartino isn't going to rush onto the floor of the Senate and hit Al Franken with a foreign object in the middle of a debate. She does know that, right? That's what kills me about fans of people like McMahon and Meg Whitman. They spend money like a wrestling fan at the beer stand and tell you how fiscally responsible they are. And it hardly ever works. But at least the drooling fans of McMahon can wear their WWE gear at the polling place on Tuesday thanks to more wisely spent money on a lawsuit filed by Vince.

This is getting depressing. These people may actually win, along with Pat Toomey in Pennsylvania, Marco Rubio in Florida, Ron Johnson in Wisconsin and Mark Kirk in Illinois. They must be stopped on Tuesday. With First Amendment remedies. Please vote.

Teabag Nation-Loser's Edition!

Well they're all losers, frankly, but unfortunately, some of them are going to win and head off to D.C. with Granny ridin' shotgun. Let's look at the sure losers.

1) Christine O'Donnell--- even though right wing blog sites are trumpeting her "surge" in the polls, this blithering idiot is going down to defeat. Whether it's her expressing wonderment that apes don't evolve into humans at the Dover Zoo, or her belief the First Amendment doesn't cover religion, or the fact she's just a grinning nitwit, she has possibly cost the Republicans the Senate. Thanks ,Old Christine!

2) Meg Whitman--- her campaign ad from last week is classic. She moved to California for the great economic opportunity 30 years ago. Who was California's Governor 30 years ago? Jerry Brown. Thanks for pointing that out, Meg. This woman's arrogance and ego are outweighed by only her massive forehead. Go away, Mrs. E-Bay. Deporting your former housekeeper? You are truly an awful human being.

3) Stephen Broden---this dimwitted black Texas Republican is running against a Democratic congressional incumbent, Eddie Bernice Johnson, who got caught diverting scholarship money from deserving students to her own grandchildren and defended it. Who better to lose to a teabagger than that woman? Well, Stephen Broden is going to make sure that doesn't happen. He likes to say things like if he loses, violent revolution is on the table. Great, Steve, who do you think you are, Sharon Angle? When Broden isn't serving as Glenn Beck's houseboy, he's blaming Saul Alinsky for Hurricane Katrina. But the worst news for this kookyburger is he got the endorsement of one Caribou Barbie. That's the kiss of death.

4) Joe Miller--- the Republican Senate nominee from the Fugitive State apparently thinks he can have his own police force. Kind of like a bearded Bill O'Reilly and his secret Fox News secuirty force he unleashes on infidels. Miller's goons actually "arrested" and handcuffed a journalist who asked too damn many questions. Miller, who also believes unemployment insurance to be "unconstitutional" even though his wife gladly took that "unconstitutional" money has sunk in the polls to third place, behind a Democrat and the incumbent, Leesa Mucowskee (thats how you spell it, Alaska Republicans) who is running as a write in. Miller is a thug, plain and simple. And yes, he has the endorsement of one Northern Overexposure. He's going down to defeat, Tawwwwwwwwd.

5)Carl Paladino--- This dope is running on the Republican ticket for Governor of New York. By now, everybody knows his temper is a bit of a problem. If you threaten to "take out" a New York Post reporter, jesus christ, how right wing ARE you? Paladino has offered to house the poor in prisons because "many young people would want to getthe hell out the cities". Really, Carl? Have fun managing your gay nightclubs after November 2nd.

6)Al Reynolds--- this Illinois teabagger recently said at a candidate forum sponsored by the League of Women Voters AND by the NAACP that African American men preferred dealing drugs to going to college because it's easier. The quote is bad enough but what really makes this guy a freaking idiot is he did it at an NAACP sponsored event? Even Reynolds should vote against himself for that move.

7)Glen Urquhart---Running for Delaware's only House seat are you? You and O'Donnell are the best Delaware Republicans can come up with? Wow, that's a whole lot of dumb for such a tiny state. Urquhart was recently caught on tape telling an audience of mouth breathers "the exact phrase separation of church and state came out of Adolph Hitler's mouth....so the next time your liberal friends talk about the separation of church and state, ask them why they're Nazis?" For the love of Ronnie Reagan, what is it about that phrase that so trips up Delaware teabaggers?

All of these teabaggers will lose on Tuesday. Oh, there are more of these kooks, but they may actually win. We can talk about those whackjobs later. Remember to vote and send more of these people back to Crazy Land where they can tune up their tin foil tricorn hats and hide in their basements. It is a MUST to vote on Tuesday, or that Halloween costumed freak at the top of this page will become everybody's crazy Uncle Ernie. And he will be in charge. Shudder.