Wounded Brains!

Can these dicksticks get any lower? A billboard in Colorado equates the genocide of a race of people the NRA would have gladly used as target practice with their fucking fascination with their tiny genitalia and great big guns. Fuck them!

Calling Mark Cuban!

Jason Collins, a 34 year old NBA basketball player, has made history by coming out of the closet as a gay active athlete. Well, history not herstory certainly because the WNBA is full of 6 foot 3 amazons who like other chicks. Collins is a journeyman (to you non sports fans that means he never plays except when somebody else is tired) player who most recently played for the Washington Wizards ( to you non fans, they suck). Now the reaction to Collins' announcement is full range. Now in an attempt to translate some of the reactions and better the world let me do so:

Chris Broussard, an NBA writer & analyst, came right out and played the "homosexuality is open rebellion against God" card. OK Chris, maybe you are brutally honest about your beliefs, or maybe you're just an idiot, but you cover a sport, The NBA, that is populated with players who have 6 babies with 6 different groupies. I mean babies' mamas. How's God feel about that?

Lots and lots of radio sports talk show hosts, the Sarah Palins of radio. are not as dumb as Chris Broussard and are playing the "I don't care" card. Loosely translated this means, I hate homos too I'm just not dumb enough to say it on the radio. It is also the equivalent of "I'm not a racist but....."

Mike Wallace, not the dead 60 Minutes guy, but some pass catcher for the Miami Dolphins (to you non fans, they suck and wear aqua, just fabulous!)said something about with all the beautiful women out there, why would anyone mess with another guy? Geez Mike, you may be dumber than Broussard, and certainly you are dumber than the dead Mike Wallace.

David West , an all star Indiana Pacer (yep there is such a thing) seemed to get all hot and bothered because Collins announced he was "black and gay". West, an very observant type, apparently was taken aback somebody would say they were "black" when it is painfully obvious Collins is black. Translation, West don't care for the gays but chose to mask it with his 20/20 vision.

Ron Artest, aka Meta World Peace, made the following statement about the announcement, "Whether it's a free country or not, you should be free to act as you want to do as long as it's not violent. No matter what it is. I came here in a Cookie Monster shirt because I wanted to, and I was going to wear the pants. But I thought you guys were going to judge me. I was going to wear the hat too. But I thought you guys would judge me. I didn't want Mitch [Kupchak] to judge me. So that's why I didn't wear the hats and the pants. But I should've wore it. You should be free to do and act how you want to act."

The translation of that is Ron Meta World Artest Peace is fucking nuts.

Ben Shapiro, no announcement of this importance would be complete without Breitbart Benny's dim bulbed response. Benny thinks the definition of a "hero" has certainly dropped since Normandy. Great, Breitbart boy, you have maintained your 100% rating from The National Stupid Association.

Kobe Bryant, the alleged bender over of room service gals, said something in support of Collins like don't let the ignorance of others suffocate you. Yeah, this from a guy who called an official a "fucking fa***t" earlier this year.
Overcompensating much, Mamba?

Jarron Collins, Jason Collin's twin brother and former NBA player himself, said he's proud of his brother and will "protect" him if necessary. You see, both of these guys went to Stanford, which already makes them smarter than your average graduate of FoxNews University.

Translation- you got a problem with my 7 foot tall gay brother, you got a problem with my 6 foot 11 self.

Yes sir.

42!

I saw 42. Being a baseball nerd, I loved the CGI stadiums like the Polo Grounds, Ebbets Field, Crosley Field, Forbes Field and Shibe Park. But enough about my weird stadium fetish, what was the movie like?

The movie is old fashioned, tells a story, doesn't get controversial with tales of ball players debauchery, and features actors who look like they could play baseball. Did I say non controversial? Ah yes, except for the racism and redneckery of most players, fans and baseball uppity ups.

Jackie Robinson's story needs to be told every 20 years. Hey folks, this shit happened only 66 years ago. Today's athletes, most of whom come across as clueless, selfish nitwits, could take a lesson from who Jackie Robinson was, and what he put up with to pave the way for them, most of whom couldn't and shouldn't have experienced.

The movie itself follows Jackie Robinson from his days with the Kansas City Monarchs ( a sidenote: PLEASE visit the Negro Leagues Museum in KC if you get the chance) to the day he was brought onboard to the Brooklyn Dodgers organization and through the historic 1947 baseball season. Chadwick Boseman, who I knew only from a short TV season of Persons Unknown, plays Robinson with a joy and an anger he cannot show. Harrison Ford is Branch Rickey personified, a low key religious man on a mission to make money and do what is right. Chris Meloni is Leo Durocher, the hard living manager tossed out of baseball for that hard living and because he was the iron fist who would keep Dodger rednecks like Dixie Walker in line. But my god, Alan Tudyk, who I only know from Suburgatory as a goofy dentist, has the role of Ben Chapman, the racist manager of the Phillies, who stands on the field throwing so many N bombs at Robinson even Quentin Tarantino must have gone "damn, that's a lot of N bombs". I can only imagine Tudyk's face reading that scene in some back room in front of the cast. Yep, that's the scene everyone talks about but there's another scene more powerfully uncomfortable to me.

In Cincinnati, when Robinson first shows up to play the Reds there is a father and a son sitting in the stands. A boy of about 6 or 7 or 8, excited to see Pee Wee Reese, a Kentucky native, play ball. Dad goes from caring father telling his son that he too hopes Pee Wee Reese shines, to bellowing racist screaming at Jackie Robinson to get off the field, you n****r. Dad continues to holler N bombs and little boy seems confused, until, he too, in a misguided attempt to please his father, hollers "get off the field, n****r!" Yep, a little kid screaming that hit me in the gut and once again shows racism, sexism, homophobia and hatred in general is taught, not genetic.

The movie itself isn't the greatest baseball movie ever made (that's The Natural), in fact it's sort of TV Movie of the Week-ish, but it tells an important story that needs telling ALL the time. I mean if they remake garbage like Red Dawn and Total Recall within 20 years, why not tell this story over and over? At least it's important.

Hey, if you go to this movie, and you should, and you're in your 50's like me, you will feel young again. The average age of the moviegoers in the packed theater we were in had to be 70. And they applauded at the end, loudly. So did I.

Please Get A Cup Of STFU For The Senator!

White Hat is communicating now, whether by writing or speaking one word at a time. Too bad the fucking politicians now attempting to profit politically by showing how big their dicks are can't communicate the same way. Chuck Schumer of New York and Diane Feinstein of California are so angry at the Boston bombing they wanna hang White Hat now. Shit, imagine if may have happened somewhere close to where the hell they live.

Senator and Southern Gentleman Lindsey Graham of South Carolina is so afraid of White Hat he wants to send the mad bomber straight to Guantanamo so he won't be afraid of him any longer. Mahh stars, he might open Lindsey's closet and say Boo Akbar or something.

Some New York state senator, Greg Ball, whipped his cannon balls out the other day and said he would torture White Hat or something and what a tough guy he was as a "red blooded" American. Hey dipshit, everybody has red blood. But not everybody has a working brain.

Stella Tremblay is state rep of some sort in New Hampshire , one guess on which party, and believes that the Boston bombing was a "Black Ops" event run by, I assume, Barack Hussein Obama the dark prince. Tremblay, who looks sort of like Michael Chiklis with a dead evergreen bush on her head, said that she didn't understand why "are you leaving it to some dumb representative to ask questions" about the coup designed as a test for when the Islamist Obama cell unleashes martial law and makes you stay inside while they go door to door taking your guns. Well, she got the "dumb representative" part right.

Louis Gohmert (Mental Midget-Tx) thinks Al Qaeda is training sleeper cells to "act Hispanic" which I'm sure to Gohmert is not speaking English and being lazy. Maybe White Hat writes stuff down in one of them Mexican accents. Gohmert is the kind of guy who if he saw something "suspicious", like a non white at one of his events, he would piss his pants and hide behind his giant cloak of stupidity.

Steve Stockman (How Does Anybody Vote For This Fucking Idiot-oh right-Texas)demands apologies from Wolf Blitzer, who Stockman probably believes is some sort of Bolshevik with that beard and that funny name because in his diseased mind Wolf insulted those fine "patriots" who wouldn't bomb anything other than a Martin Luther King Day parade. Blitzer, who oughta apologize to everybody, but not for that, just says nothing, like he does 4 hours a day.

Steve King (Goddamned Psycho Just Look At His Eyes-Ia)immediately went all xenophobic and called for a halt to all immigration, at least for the ones that don't look like King anyway, because he just knew it was some wild eyed foreign national. Now that he was wrong again, keeping his 100% dumbfuck rating intact, King wants an apology because he turned out to be right. If Iowa elects this dimwit to the Senate to team up with a rube like Chuck Grassley I may build a bomb. To blow myself up.

Hey, if we have to face years of this circus, an O J The Sequel type of event, well so be it. But the bottom line is this and I'm not really sure why this is so fucking hard to get. White Hat is an American citizen. He murdered 4 people and tried to murder 160 or so more. Try him. Convict him. Send him to prison forever. Case closed.

But that will not do for these politicians, eager to strut and preen for cameras. Sometimes I wonder just who the real threat to our society is. Crazy bombers & mass murderers who go to jail,, or "public servants" who keep it all so legal for things like this to happen, and then crow how they want it to stop. How flippin stupid are we? Who votes for these assholes? Not me, cuz I never win. Neither do the ones who DO vote for them.

The New Terrorist Girl!

I never trusted her. Nor apparently Fox News' closed caption slave.

Ebony And Ivory!

Thank goodness they got the White Hat. Thank goodness they got him alive. Thank goodness it's over and a city of millions can now leave their house now that a twice wounded bleeding out 19 year old follower of the black hatted Amman Joe Carroll is in custody. Now the real fun begins. How can we blame Nobama for the whole thing?

Glenn Beck, the mentally ill millionaire, has given the Muslim Kenyan until Monday to come clean on the Saudi national originally thought to be the bomber by really dumb people. Beck will expose the Indonesian usurper illegal President for being in cahoots with the Saudi national who personally Benghazi'd all 4 of those dead American diplomats who Beck hated right up till the time they stopped breathing and he figured he could further enrich himself with more conspiracy theories his rather dense audience loves. Ahh, Beck loves the smell of dead Americans in the morning.

Donald Trump, the weasel wearing reality show loudmouth, spent all night tweeting about killing White Hat right then and there after a "fair" trial, putting the execution on live TV, and topped it off with a tweet wondering if White Hat was eligible for Obamacare. Trump, whose description by the late great Spy Magazine was a "short fingered vulgarian", has spent the last few years of his miserable life "firing" celebrities, wishing he could "date" his daughter, grifting both government cretins and public morons with tales of faked birth certificates and foreign intrigue from the fake Hawaiian enemy of the state President while he blathers on pretending he's rich. Jesus, Trump, get the ego reduced. Any guy who tells Latoya Jackson that "Michael was your brother, but MORE IMPORTANTLY, he was my friend" really needs a conscience transplant.

Liz Cheney, no not the lezzie one, the heartless spawn of Dr.Evil one, has already begun frothing at the fangs that nobody will get to put the thumbscrews to White Hat. Already threatening the good folks of Wyoming with a possible run for the United States Senate, no wait, that's a threat to the good folks of America, LizDick yaps "NBC reporting Obama admin will treat terrorist as a 'criminal' and not enemy combatant," ... "Will Obama allow him to lawyer up?". First of all, what the fuck is she doing watching NBC? Was the cable out or was even she sick of Sean Hannity's bullshit? Second of all, White Hat is an American citizen. Oh not the "right" kind of American citizen per Liz I am sure but nonetheless he is one. I'm sure when Liz Cheney's ancestors flapped their bat wings and flew over here from Transylvania when the torch carrying mobs got to close to Count Cheney's castle they probably said "blahhhhh, rights for me and not for you!"

Pamela Geller, writing on some blog called "American Thinker" (I'm sure that's meant as irony)says that all bombings are "jihad" related while all mass shootings are "mental illness" related. Oh I see. Geller, who drives around the country aimlessly warning of "jihads" and the indigestion caused by falafel and goat meat, called the law enforcement authorities, and we all know who "appointed" them, that mad bomber in the White House, "Keystone Kops" for not arresting some Arab within minutes of the blasts. That damned Hussein Obama and his crappy FBI and stuff can't even get railroading somebody right!

Lindsey Graham, that effeminate heterosexual John McCain puppy dog, apparently wants to ship White Hat straight to Gitmo so he doesn't hafta deal with such madness being a Southern gentleman, y'all. Uhhh, Lindsey, and all the rest of you people who jack off to the Second Amendment, what is it about American citizens having rights you can't comprehend? Terrorism is a crime. Just like murder, or stealing, or sodomy in some states (South Carolina, anyone?). You get rights when you are accused of such crimes. Fucking constitution and all that bleeding heart liberal bullshit.

Mark Levin, the siren voiced troll who writes Sean Hannity's scripts, was allowing the media stream of the arrest of White Hat on his show last night when he suddenly cut it off, and began screeching in his oh so soothing way, "get those leftists off my show". Now who he meant by "leftists" I am not sure. But I assume he meant the media, the Governor, the Mayor, the Police Commissioner, the FBI, the Homeland Security, Nobama and Chris Christie. Levin have children? And if so, have they come out from under their beds yet when they hear Daddy coming to read them more Atlas Shrugged before sleepy time?

Finally, Chechnyan President Ramzan Kadyrov Obama, a reach around boy for Vladimir Putin Obama, said "It is necessary to seek the roots of evil in America". Oh I see, Ramzan. It's our fault . Yep, I remember when I was in high school and taking the mandatory Bomb Making 1 and the Killing Infidels 2 (actually being in Catholic school I am not sure that wasn't offered). Hey dumbshit, did you see how many "evil" Americans rushed to the aid of the victims of the bombings? That's the "root" of America. Not a couple of nuts blinded by whatever ideology no matter what it is. Shit, I'm starting to sound all jingoistic and rah rah. So unlike me. But for chrissakes, when I hear some puppet of some dictator, you know, like Chris Christie, open his piehole and blame the victim, you know, like Rush Limbaugh, I get a bit torqued off. Shut up, Chechnya dude, we won't invade you like back when Bush was around. We'd invade, oh I don't know, someplace close like Azerbaijan, that has oil of course.

Shut Up!

"I wonder how many Boston liberals spent the night cowering in their homes wishing they had an AR-15 with a hi-capacity magazine?"

-- Arkansas State Rep. Nate Bell (R), on Twitter.

Yeah, and you're a dick.