Arguing With Himself?

I have just turned it over to this jackoff's Fox News daily rant. Let's see what's going on with this failed Top 40 deejay turned rightie charlatan.

4:33- Beck goes to a "dark area" as he puts it. He shows a bunch of black criminals beating a black kid to death in Chicago.
4:34- Beck pretends to care about the victim but goes on to trying to "ban railroad ties".
4:35- Beck shows why he failed at commercial radio. He's beating a dead horse sticking up for the NRA.
4:36- Beck blurts out "people kill people".
4:37-Beck bobs his head and smirks. He loves bashing Chicago and the blacks, the "dark area".
4:38- Beck plugs his book "Arguing With Myself" I mean Idiots.
4:39- Beck starts tongueing a sinister looking gun nut in a suit and tie calling for Chicagoans to walk around with shotguns.
4:40-Beck looks tired as Al Capone carries on about how much he loves guns.
4:41- Beck states he's a "big states rights guy" and takes a break, presumably to horsewhip his slave.

I can't take it anymore. I am out.

Let's Hear It For Opposite Marriage!

Oh I see, when a reporter is doing his job and some hearing challenged "values voter" can't hear what Carrie Prejean is rambling on about, that's rude. Disrupting Town Halls and heckling the President is telling it like it is. More random thoughts:

1) Who the hell is Tim Pawlenty? From what I've heard, he was a perfectly reasonable Republican Governor of Minnesota before he decided to run for President after he figured out the frontrunners for the 2012 Republican nomination was a Moron and a Morman. Now Pawlenty is quoting Bible verses at "values voters" and watching them roll around on the floor in ecstasy. C'mon now, Minnesotans aren't bible thumping charlatans, they're nice, reasonable Valhalla seekers.

2) Bo Pelini, head football coach at Nebraska, needs to chill out. After getting beat in a crazy, impossible way last Saturday at Virginia Tech, Bo went nuts. He threw his headphones at somebody, and on his postgame radio show, for which I believe he gets paid, he constantly asked the interviewer "did you see the play? let's move on". No, Bo, to put it in terms you might understand, what the fuck happened? Maybe Turner Gill would've been a better choice.

3) Pit Bulls should be banned. A 52 year old woman here in Omaha saw a pit bull threatening an 11 year old kid, came out of her house, distracted the psychotic canine and promptly had the pit bull attempt to eat her. She's in the hospital and may lose her leg. Last summer a pit bull chewed the scalp off a 4 year old girl. I'm sure any city in the country has similar stories. The solution? Put the pit bull owners to sleep too. The collective IQ of any city brave enough to do this would double.

4) Women's college volleyball is a great sport. I took Max to a Creighton University volleyball game the other night because I believe in spreading the sports experience around. To absorb yourself in football, basketball and baseball and nothing else is narrow minded and very Republican. I want Max to give the less popular sports, volleyball, soccer, hockey, and smaller class high school sports a try. But one thing I saw at this volleyball game bothered me. A number of single men with HUGE telephoto lenses taking pictures of the players. Is there such a thing as volleyball porn?

5) According to the New York Times, John Edwards told his mistress and baby's mama he would wait for Elizabeth to die and then he would marry her on a New York rooftop with music by the Dave Mathews Band. How much more sleaze can John Edwards get on himself? But of course all you conservatives, like the "values voters" who booted the MSNBC guy out of their little Bund meeting, don't believe a word of it, right? The New York Times is just another left wing lying slave to its communist masters that never tells the truth. Correct?

OUCH!

That one hurt. 16-15.

Can We Get Ted Nugent To Play Nearer My God To Thee?

Hey GOP, I hope this week goes a bit better than last week did for you. And you thought you had a bad week.

1) The teabaggers, racists, morons, and just plain stupid people didn't want a black man telling their purebred children to stay in school, get good grades, and wash their Aryan hands to keep from getting that Muslim flu. So they called schools on that talking machine and threatened spineless administrators with who knows what. Since one of the first things school administrators have to do after being promoted is get their spines removed (my apologies, Kevin) at least in Middle America, they wouldn't allow kids listen to that black guy. You look ridiculous there, GOP.

2) On Wednesday night, as the President, that black guy again, spoke to a joint session of Congress about health care, one legislator from Illinois apparently needs Flomax because he got up and left early. Then another legislator, that Wilson guy from South Carolina, forgot where he was and thought he was out front of Goober's Garage with the boys and some colored guy went walking by so he started hollerin' at him to get back to the other side of the tracks. You really look bad, GOP.

3) Good old Mike Duvall, a married Orange County California Assemblyman, big family values guy, big anti-gay rights guy, forgot every mike should be considered hot and proceeded to brag about spanking some other married woman and how another spankee didn't know about spankee #1. Tsk tsk tsk, Mikey. That's not very family valuesy. Well at least it was a woman, or rather, women. Most homophobes like spanking 15 year old male hookers or become Catholic priests. You're looking bad , GOP.

4) Kristin Maguire. I hate to keep picking on South Carolina, but Jesus Christ, the Palmetto State needs to get it's shiite together. Kristin Maguire is chairman of the South Carolina Board of Education. She, of course, is a fundamentalist Christian, homeschools her own little christians, tries to defund the public schools, and wants to teach abstinence and creationism. Ever hear of Bridget Keeney? Kristin Maguire has. Somebody named Bridget Keeney writes dirty stories, errrrrr, erotic fiction. Yeah you got it, Bridget Keeney is Kristin Maguire. She writes about doing things with an Oscar statue and a nice little Thanksgiving story about stuffing a turkey, hey wait a minute, that's not a turkey! She has resigned, which is more than I can say for the rest of South Carolina's miscreants. You look bad, GOP!

5) The teabaggers were back out Saturday in the streets of D.C. Claiming there were 2 million by using 1997 satellite pictures of the Million Man March (how ironic) these thousands of nuts carried around their racist signs and blathered on about taxes and how Muslims are taking over. Chrissakes, the streets of D.C. hasn't seen this many racist boneheads since the 1925 March on Washington by the Ku Klux Klan. You really look bad, GOP!

It's Just A Number, The Number After 49!

Somebody in my family is, well we won't say how old. Happy Birthday, Kevin! We love ya!

The Sheets And Hoods Get Warshed On Weekends!

Looks like the teabaggers were let out of the home again this weekend. Once again, euthanasia and death panels may be given the short shrift here. But, let's all agree, one thing you can't take away from these "conservatives". Their class and dignity.

Congressman Douche Bag I Presume?

Hey everybody, it's South Carolina Congressman Joe Wilson (R-SC) who found it necessary to holler at and heckle the President during a joint congressional speech this evening. How many trailer parks are there in South Carolina and why do they get their own representative? I hope Nancy Pelosi serves up this guy's balls at the House cafeteria tomorrow.