For My Next Trick I Will Swallow A Football!

This is Chip Saltsman. Chip wants to be the head of the Republican National Committee. What are Chip's credentials? Well, he ran Mike Huckabee's presidential campaign and took it farther than anybody ever thought it would. But Huckabee lost to an old guy who lost to a secret Islamic terrorist so Chip is still a bit weak in the old "name me one accomplishment you are proud of" interview question. But Chipper is no dummy. He knows what kind of people are still proud to admit they are a Republican. You know, the kind who tells you how funny Rush Limbaugh is. The kind who laments the loss of a good old Polack joke. The kind who finds parody songs witty. Chip decided to send out free CD's of a tune affectionately overplayed on the EIB network called "Barack the Magic Negro". Excuse me while I compose myself I am laughing so hard.

Please, Mr. Republican, make this guy your next chairman. Please. Please. While you're at it, please grease the skids to make Tripp Johnston's grandmother your next nominee in 2012. I'm already giddy and the Magic Man hasn't even taken office yet.

Ya Know? You Betcha?

Some are comparing New York's next Senator, Caroline Kennedy, to a certain Governor of a state full of refugees and fugitives because she says "ya know" a lot kind of like that hackey mam said "you betcha". Big difference there, my friends. The "mavrick" is 44 years old and has at least 6 alma maters. Caroline is, what, like 6 years old? Come on. give the kid a break for chrissakes!

Merry Christmas To All!

That about sums it all up. Have a great day everybody.

Happy Birthday To Max!

Twelve years ago, Max came into the world pooping and screaming. Things are sooooooo different now. Happy Birthday Max! We love you!

2009 Couldn't Go Fast Enough!

Say, if you're looking for that last minute Christmas gift (nobody would buy it for Hanukkah or Kwanzaa since no Jews or blacks voted for her) for the Joe the Plumber in your life? Just go hang it in the garage or put it under the mattress now and save your Joe the time.


I kept my promise to never type that person's name ever again!

The Phelps' Children Cry For Help!

The latest from the fine folks at the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka,Kansas. Are those poor children trying to tell the world what Fred does to them at night? Nonetheless these kids need some good old liberating. How about it, Dick Cheney?

This time the attention seekers are crapping all over Santa Claus. If you wish to give some attention, and throw up at the same time, check out the latest Christmas carol courtesy of the Lennon and McCartney of Kookooville, Shirley and Fred. It's on youtube if you can handle it. But check out the taped child abuse at the very end. Yo!

The Purpose Driven Inauguration!

Ok by now everybody knows that the fat, smiling, glad handing Rick Warren has been asked by the President-elect to give some sort of invocation at the Inauguration. The left has gone batshit crazy over this slap in the face to their ideals. All I can say is who cares? Who gives a damn what millionaire man of God gets up and prays for the country? The only thing I'd actually listen to is if the Reverend Jeremiah Wright started hollering and rolling his eyes. Now that would be something to watch!

Rick Warren is James Dobson with charisma. Throw a few alms to the sick and poor in your speeches while maintaining your homophobic and misogynistic reality and you have a million-selling author. But once again I don't care if Rick Warren or Warren Sapp for that matter get up and invocate away. It means nothing. Who gave Bush's invocation? Who gave Clinton's? Nobody remembers, not to mention it didn't do any good anyway.

So lather up all you lefties. Maybe with a little practice you too can become outraged at unimportant issues like Bill O'Reilly's crowd tends to do. Or better yet, move on and while Warren is blah blah blah-ing like Charlie Brown's teacher, actually work behind the scenes and get something started.