Max's Dad

Buchanan Uber Alles!

2012-02-17T14:37:00.003-06:00

America's favorite fascist crank, Patrick J Buchanan, is out at MSNBC. He is? When was he ever on MSNBC? In fact, when has Pat ever been anywhere lately? Damn, Pat's out? Just when I was looking forward to his views on contraception. I'm sure his views would have fallen somewhere between Father Coughlin and Josef Mengele. Free contraception for anyone darker than Mika Brzezinski!

Pat is gonzo? I doubt it. He'll pop up whining about poor oppressed white guys on Hannity soon enough while Sean nods his head and fantasizes about what he'd look like in a Waffen SS uniform.

Pat Buchanan has been entertaining me for years. From his stint on Crossfire when he pissed my father off on a nightly basis to his giggling rants on John McLaughlin's borefest, Pat has been the one conservative racist, anti-semite, homophobe, Nazi loving whackjob I really think I could have a beer with without ripping their throat out within 60 seconds. Come on, Pat was a man way ahead of his time. He was hating gays, Jews, blacks, hispanics and defending Nazi war criminals long before Santorum and Mittens came along. Patrick J., we hardly knew ya.

Wait, we do know him? Pat's expressed his admiration for Spanish fascist Francisco Franco & Joe McCarthy. How ironic he's claiming he's being "blacklisted" while kneeling before the Joe McCarthy shrine with Ginny Thomas and Ann Coulter. Patrick J has called the Congress "Israeli occupied territory" and has called anti-semitic old school catholics 'defenders of the faith". Move to Lincoln,Nebraska, Pat ol boy. That diocese still has racks and iron maidens to deal with the post Vatican 2 jerks.

Pat has also never met a Nazi war criminal he didn't like. Remember his passionate defense of John Demanjuk. the retired "auto worker" from Cleveland and oh yeah, death camp guard at Sobibor. Pat just sees no reason to keep bringing up that Holocaust thing. After all, it was just Jews, and gays and gypsies and a few Catholic priests who got out of line. What's the biggie?

Pat has never met an immigrant he didnt hate, unless of course they were Irish or English, you know, normal people like him. Everybody else is a "Zulu". Remember way back when Pat was shilling for Nixon, he argued that intelligence was a white thing and educating the rest of humanity was a waste of taxpayer money? Wow, Pat. More irony. You gotta be kidding me. Look in the mirror for the face of ignorance.

Pat Buchanan is off MSNBC. Wow, other than the fact I didn't know he was even on MSNBC, I can see why the poor oppressed white conservatives are all up in arms. MSNBC ALWAYS fires conservatives because they aren't given a voice there. Right, Keith Olbermann?

Issa Dis Hearing Done Started?

2012-02-16T18:35:00.002-06:00

What is this? Why it's Rep. Darrell Issa (Car Thief-Ca) and his "expert" witnesses on "religious freedom" and "freedom of conscience". In other words, or rather, republicanism, that means telling women what they can and cannot do with their own selves. Let's see, how many chicks are testifying at this "hearing" about them. Uhhhhhhhhhhh, zero? And man oh man, does that bunch of old douchebags look like they know a lot about contraception. Yeah, those assholes think douching with Coke or god forbid, "natural family planning" actually works.

Nice going, Obama. bringing this issue to the forefront. No seriously, Barack, I mean it. How can you possibly lose when this sausagefest is actually testifying about things that don't affect any of them? Oh shut up, we'll tell you what to think, now go make me a sandwich! What is this, The Handmaid's Tale come to life?

Hey look, keep it up, Republicans. Pretty soon, no woman with an IQ over 75 will vote for any Republican much less a empty vessel like Mittens. Keep up the endless parade of medieval meatheads waving the turkey legs and screaming for beheadings of temptresses.

I am really beginning to think the Prez is playing chess while these gas station goobers like Darrell Issa are breaking out the checkers. I'd say Jump Me but one of those old cranks pictured above might object or worse....do it.

So, What Was Hitler Like?

2012-02-10T17:41:00.003-06:00

Let's talk something I know about for a change. Catholicism. 12 years of the dogma, the brainwashing, the installation of guilt, and the knowledge I wasn't even good lookin enough to get hit on by Father O'Diddle. That's what Catholicism did for me.

Now the racketeers that run the Catholic Church in the United States have thrown a fit over the Obama mandate (not boydate, Padre, mandate) that insurance plans must cover birth control free of charge to their slutty female temptresses who have the gall to work outside the home at catholic institutions and don't stay home pumping out future contributors to the molester slush fund. How dare they! The tramps!

Of course , the President, under intense pressure from religious whackjobs who aren't even catholic, bowed to the old perverts running the church and gave them another addition to their bullshit spank bank. Why, Mr. President? Most Catholics couldn't give a rat's ass about this issue and the only ones screaming are not going to vote for you anyway. In fact, Mr.President. a helluva lot of so called Catholic women have been popping birth control pills more often than they suck that wafer down on Sundays, or more probably, Saturday night so they don't have to do the walk of shame AND get ready for Mass. In fact, Mr.Obama, a helluva lot of Catholic women have undergone the old D&C. You know, that's Catholic for ,shhhhhhh, abortion. Hey, Mr.Obama, can I call you Barack now, a helluva lot of Catholic women have also been "known" by guys they didn't marry, too. In fact, B O, a lot of Catholic chicks only have one of two kids. In fact most of them only have one or two kids. What's up with that? Come on, Barack, give them a break. Don't make them pay for birth control that puts them in jeopardy of everlasting "grace".

But the guys in the funny hats in the long dresses who carry around a giant crucifix have a lot of clout with the flock. Oh, not that flock, hell no, most Catholics don't give a shit about their stupid fucking rules. It's the hateful born again assholes who are raising the stink over this. You know, total pricks like Rick Warren. The Boner (how ironic is it a guy named Boner addressed the pro life nuts?)is raising hell. The Republicans are so angry they hung up on their hookers to express their outrage.

Oh this makes me laugh. Catholicism. I retired from it long ago. Any organization run by pedophiles, power hungry losers, repressed gay men, degenerates hiding from the world, and total scam artists cannot possibly be taken this seriously. Who listens to these silly people any longer? Stuck in their women hating dogma, these jackoffs will never change. The money is too good, the power is too good, and for some of them I'm sure the tail is too good. Why give up this racket? The way these grifters operate, the only Jesus they serve is when the gardener shows up.

Here Boy! Here Boy!

2012-01-30T18:45:00.002-06:00

Sorry I couldn't find a white dog to picture as hearing the Republican dog whistle but time is tight, and it will piss off the teabaggers. Dog Whistle politics. You know, what the Republicans say, as opposed to what they mean. The dog whistle.

Barack Obama is the "food stamp president". That's what that adulterous slob Gingrich keeps calling the President. Now the statement is a goddamned lie but the dog whistle comes in loud and clear to the Republican pooches. Obama is taking your money and giving it to blacks so they can stand in front of you at the grocery store you never go to and buy lobsters and Colt 45 and Kools and red kool aid for their 8 kids with 12 different fathers. Loud and clear Newtie.

Barack Obama is going to raise your taxes. Yeah ok, he's going to tax you white Republicans so he can give the money to the poor people (the blacks!) and cause you to lose your house and live on the streets while the blacks live in mansions and drive Escalades and smoke crack courtesy of you, the oppressed Christians. Loud and clear, all of you.

Barack Obama is anti-religion. Well of course he is. He's a Kenyan Muslim. That's not a religion, it's a terrorist organization. And he hangs around with that Jeremiah Wright, that radical uhhhhhhhhh christian? No, not that kind of christian. We don't have those kind of christians in my church. St.Paleface. Loud and clear.

Barack Obama practices the Saul Alinsky model of politics. Nobody who hears this dog whistle knows who the fuck Saul Alinsky was. All they know is Saul Alinsky is probably some kind of New York Jew. Loud and clear.

Let's keep America for Americans. We've heard that one ever since those night riders put those pointy white hoods over their pointy white heads and attacked anybody who wasn't just like them. Stupid. Loud and clear.

Personally, not being a dog, or dog brained, I cannot hear dog whistles. Oh I know one when I see some Republican "base" voter get all giddy over something. Like those hollerin debate audiences do whenever one of the four stooges fakes outrage over a question from one of them college educated elitists who deal in stupid things like facts and stuff. Facts! Blahhhhh....Now where's my milk bone?

Even Chuck Heston Is Spinning In HIs Grave!

2012-01-25T15:25:00.004-06:00

Ok, I did not bother to watch the SOTU last night because looking at the Boner's orange mug for two hours was not on my agenda. Thus, no opinion, though I'm sure I stood and applauded in spirit many times. But a couple of things have caught my attention and given me a giant headache.

Oklahoma. You know Oklahoma, just north of Texas and just south of Kansas. The meat in the middle of a hoagie of dumb. Oklahoma State Senator Ralph Shorty, yeah I can't make that name up, has decided that he has the solution to a non existent epidemic. Senator Shorty (seriously?) has introduced legislation to outlaw food companies from using aborted fetuses in their food meant for human consumption. Huh? How this Okie came up with this outrage is beyond me but I guess it has something to do with a pro-life, unless you're actually born, group, the Children of God For Life being incensed their collective IQ's don't reach triple figures and thinking Soylent Green was a documentary from the 70's starring Moses.

Come on Ralphie buddy! Your state already has a bad enough rep from passing that no Sharia law in Oklahoma deal in 2010 that a court laughed out of existence. Why are you making us no longer wonder why Tom Joad left your stupid state? Ralphie has also sponsored laws in the legislature to do away with the Court of Appeals down there and just hang 'em outside the courthouse I presume, to confiscate the houses and cars and extra burritos from illegals (if you've seen Ralphie you know why he'd want the burritos, yum), and he's one of those birther guys who think Obama is a Kenyan socialist. Or just a foreign commie. I doubt if Ralphie knows what Kenya or socialism is anyway.

Even in Oklahoma this bill won't pass. There's enough intelligence in that legislative body to stop nonsense like this in its tracks. Now if it ever went to a vote of the citizens of Oklahoma, I have no doubt it would pass. I have no doubt because the people of Oklahoma are the ones who voted this dumb son of a bitch into office in the first place. Boomer Sooner baby!

Now to you, Tennessee. The Tennessee Tea Party, boy there's a Mensa meeting I'm sure, has asked the Tennessee legislature to make schools down there stop telling the truth about the Founding Fathers cuz it bugs them that Thomas Jefferson was banging Sally Hemmings and the American Indians got in the way and got run over and genocided cuz they wouldn't move for the nice white people. The Tea Party down in Tennessee says telling the students of Tennessee that George Washington chopped down a cherry tree and that Dolly Madison invented Twinkies and John Adams looked like Paul Giammatti and that John Hancock was an insurance agent and Nathan Hale actually said that thing about giving but one life for his country instead of hollering "what the fuck are you Limey assholes doing?" is "history". Great. Once again, there is enough brainpower in the Tennessee legislature to stop garbage like this but the fact the Tea Party really believes their own power mad bullshit is getting old.

Once again, 2012 is pivotal. Throwing the morons who won in 2010 out is top priority because if that happens, Obama wins. Otherwise we will all be learnin' like Texas kids do now. That the Klan really wasn't that bad, but the Black Panthers were violent terrorists intent on raping your daughters. That's what they teach down there. Look it up. Just Google "Santorum"........just kidding...

Sheeeeyoot! Newtie!

2012-01-22T13:19:00.002-06:00

Thank you South Carolina. You poor, oppressed christian white people have spoken and voted for a thrice married, bloated con artist. Shhhh, it wasn't Limbaugh running but don't tell them that cuz they think ol' Newt is that guy from the talking box in their pick em up truck.

Oh man, this is sweet. Newt Gingrich? The disgraced former Speaker of the House? The overfed white topped philanderer? The guy that makes Bill Clinton look like Ned Flanders? All because Newtie threw a tantrum over the commie news media telling the truth about him and pissed off all those poor white Jesus loving folks who just can't get a break because of that Kenyan Muslim socialist giving all the new jobs to his shiftless buddies?

Keep going Newtie. Go to Florida and pander to the old Jewish Jesus denying folks just to keep that fucking Mormon from losing in a landslide. That's YOUR job, Newtie cuz you are so grandiose and creative. You tell us that all the time.

Hey, Newtie. Isn't Callista getting a bit long in the tooth? That Joker smile has been frozen on so long you may not have noticed she's, well uhhh, a bit beneath you. Shouldn't you begin an upgrade soon, Newtie? I hear Heidi Klum is available now.

Allah be praised, I mean, Jesus H Christ, President Obama. Did you ever think it would this easy?

The Three Stooges And The Weiner Dog!

2012-01-19T19:26:00.003-06:00

It's Debate #400 or whatever in front of a raucous crowd of rednecks and mental defectives in South Carolina. Let's listen:

7:28 pm---Rick Santorum says the word "disgusting" when referring to some non existent cutting of Veterans Benefits. Some redheaded nerd applauds wildly.

7:29--Robot Romney begins yapping about the military. I lose interest quickly.

7:30---that old rascal Newt. Newtie Newtie, I cannot get over the fact you think all women needed a piece of you.

7:31-- Robot Romney. Why does he grin whenever his paid clappers clap?

7:35-- Santorum attacks Mittens. Mittens stares daggers through him. You can tell he wants Jeeves to remove Santorum from his mansion aka the debate hall.

7:42---after 15 minutes of nonsensical banter between a half wit, a robot and a playahhhhh, Ron Paul gets to talk much to the delight of the Paultards.

7:49-- John King, the Mitt Romney of CNN, asks Saint Orum something about Newtie.
Says the word "cogent" and his eyes glaze over.

7:54-- I think Saint Rick just called Newt Gingrich a fucking crook. Romney glares at both wanting Jeeves to remove them both so he can bark out orders to the well dressed dorks in the crowd.

7:56-- Mittens "started a business", "ran a business"...he neglected to state he also ran all those businesses into the ground and enjoyed firing people. Mittens gets annoyed when Newt giggles at him. He wants Jeeves to remove Newt from the building again.

8:00--- Ron Paul isn't planning on releasing his tax returns. Mittens is going to wait until H&R Block does them for him. Rambles off into the Keystone Pipeline deal. I wouldn't wanna talk about them either. Newtie already has, deducting hooker expenses of course and Saint Orum has them on his computer. Turbo Tax I assume.

8:03---Somebody heckles Mittens. He glares at them waiting for Jeeves to remove them from his building.

8:08---this Romney stare is creeping me out. What's going through that neck bolted head of his?

8:11--- an exchange between Santorum and Ron Paul is kind of like a dachsund debating a yorkie. Whatever?

8:16---looks like fat South Carolinians are overwhelmingly Paultards.

8:23-- some woman in the audience holding her husband's hand while gazing admiringly at the four losers onstage. Oh honey, if they only had white hoods on like we wear.

8:25-- Newtie wants English as some sort of official language. South Carolinians, who speak something other than English, applaud wildly. Hot damn!

8:27-- Jesus H Christ Mittens. STOP staring at people. You are one creepy plutocrat.

8:31-- Bashing brown people has become the topic. South Carolinians, who 150 years ago were immigrating people here against their will, now go batshit crazy when Santorum wants to deport them.

8:34-- Mitten stares at Ron Paul like a hangman waiting for the condemned to shut up so he can enjoy killing him

8:36-- Abortion. Hoo boy. If for one second you think any of these principle-less pricks, other than Santorum, gives a shit about this issue, you are a total dimwit.
I wonder how many abortions Newtie has paid for? Over/under is 10. Romney more pro-choice than Ted Kennedy. Remember that? Ron Paul? Come on. Santorum, nutty enough to really believe a blastocyst can vote.

8:42-- I wish somebody would abort all of these pandering pukes.

8:43--- John Romney King ignores Ron Paul. The fat Paultards yell. We get to hear all about the 1960's from Ron Paul. You know the 60's? Back when Ron Paul was in his 60's.

8:46-- For Chrissakes, another exchange between the Yorkie and the weiner dog.

8:51-- Why should South Carolina vote for Ron Paul? Fat Paultards applaud all he says. Including why the debt didnt get talked about. Cuz you spent 15 minutes talking about abortion.

8:53--- Why vote for that player Newtie? Calls Obama a "radical". Uses the name Saul Alinsky. South Carolinians think why did he mention some New York Jew?

8:55-- Why vote for Mittens? Good god, its like listening to a computer recite the Pledge of Allegiance. What a tool.

8:57-- why vote for Google Boy Santorum? Because you are insane, maybe? He says there's no climate change, the bank bailout ruined America, and the tooth fairy supports him.

8:59--- South Carolina Republicans take two minutes to haul their diabetes ravaged bodies out of the chairs to applaud the men who want to get the black panther kenyan out of their White House.

9:00--- OMG!. It's gotten worse. Anderson Cooper!...I am out of here to go take a shower. Ewwwwwww....

15%? Oh The Humanity!!!!

2012-01-17T18:18:00.002-06:00

I am really sick of writing about this fucking guy because I know the son of a bitch is going to win the Republican nomination and self implode all over the elephantine delegates this summer. But everyday this dork comes up with some other reason to hate his magic underwear donning guts.

Today, somewhere in South Carolina, while pandering to whatever group of rednecks have gathered, Mittens Romney told reporters he "believes" he pays about 15% of his income in taxes. 15%? A guy whose estimated worth is somewhere north of $250 million? He pays 15%? For fucks sake, I paid more than that and I'm freakin' poor.

Oh I forgot,Mittens has been proudly "unemployed" since 2007, like a lot of Americans stuck under Republican rule. Christ, how does he make it? Why he makes some money, "not much" by his standards, about $374K for boring the shit out of people who actually show up to hear his robot like wit. Jesus, Mittens, if you're going to talk like a robot, at least get some tips from Bender. Anyway, Mittens makes the speech money, again "not much" according to him. Then he makes a crapload of money off "investments". Translation: All those companies he vultured in on and took over, enjoyed firing everybody , and then took all the money left over and stuffed it in his empty dog carrier? Yeah that money. The "capital gains" tax rate. You know, the tax rate Republicans insist on keeping because all those capital gains result in more and more jobs? Name me one job that unemployed bum Romney has created since he got laid off in 2007? Go ahead.

Romney is such a tool he'll probably try to deduct on his "tax" return that $150 or so he shoved at that unemployed woman the other day to get her the hell away from him. Hey. Mittens remember Ronald Reagan, your "hero". The guy Sean Hannity beats off to? Ronald Reagan said "........We’re going to close the unproductive tax loopholes that allow some of the truly wealthy to avoid paying their fair share..... In practice they sometimes made it possible for millionaires to pay nothing, while a bus driver was paying ten percent of his salary, and that’s crazy. [...] Do you think the millionaire ought to pay more in taxes than the bus driver or less?

Obama has been using that quote lately to make Sean Hannity go limp. Mittens, do you agree with Reagan or his he now some whacked out socialist too?

Sometimes I think Obama has put these Republican candidates into the forefront saying the crazy stuff they do by some sort of secret Kenyan voodoo. How else can you explain this? Mittens, you've been proudly unemployed for almost 5 years now. Isn't it about time you started looking for meaningful employment? On second thjought, as long as this jackoff is wasting his money and time running for President, lots of Americans are safely employed.....For now.

Mitt Is A Mutt!

2012-01-13T17:02:00.003-06:00

Mitt Romney may be a emotionless dick who kills jobs, has bolts in his neck, is a complete phony , belongs to some cult that wears magic undies, be a lying sack of dog crap and generally be hated by even sociopathic egomaniacs like Newt Gingrich, but the way he treats dogs is going to kill him.

People like dogs, my friends. They like when their dog leaps up and is genuinely happy to see you as opposed to a cold fish like Romney who couldn't care less if you spontaneously combusted right in front of him. They like it when their dog licks them and plays with them and rides in the car with them and hangs out the window with his tongue hanging out and "smiles" at them as opposed to a Romney who probably makes his dog sleep in the garage and gets pissed when the dog jumps on his neatly pressed jeans. People love their dogs, and their dogs love them. It's unconditional. Shit, Blondie the dog probably loved Hitler right up to the time Der Fuhrer shot her. Romney is the kind of guy who won't let the dog into certain rooms, feeds the dog canned food, the cheap shit, hates the dog for shedding, buys an entire new carpet when the dog pees on it, keeps the dog in a doghouse out back on a chain, pays some guy to pick up the dog crap in his yard, and straps the dog to the roof of his Woodie while driving 70 mph.

Oh yeah. Romney is a big enough soul sucking jackoff for just his politics alone. His calm demeanor and robot like stock answers may be enough to fool the hardcore Obama haters, who would probably support the aforementioned A.Hitler (R-Ger) over Obama anyway. But the dimbulbs in the center, the "independents", the "silent majority", you know, the people with jobs and lives Romney hasn't ruined yet love their pooches, their canines, their best buddies, their dogs. And they would never ever strap their buddy to a roof of a car speeding down the highway. Romney did just that. That's the kind of thing that will kill this prick.

There is a website, DogsagainstRomney.com. The term "Romney" is soon to be on a level with the term "Santorum". Googling either will be unsafe for children soon. Mittens, you can fuck over millions of people, you can be the epitome' of a trust fund baby, you can belong to a goofy club of polygamists and child molesters, you can be a complete flip flopping chameleon, BUT...there is no way you get away with being mean to Seamus the dog back in 1983.

That is unacceptable, Mittens. The really sad part is not being mean to the dog. The really sad part is a guy like you, Mittens, will never ever get that.

Is That Mitt Romney Or Did A Mannequin Get Loose?

2012-01-11T15:11:00.003-06:00

Now that Republicans have gotten over the every four years pretend phase, you know the time when the media gets all atwitter over what some rubes in Iowa or New Hampshire might do, like vote for Pat Buchanan or Rick Santorum or Pat Robertson or Daffy Duck, we all know that Willard Mittens Romney is going to be the turkey served up to the Obamas this November. Republicans just cannot stop letting the next guy who has been in line the longest ahead of them and nominating him. They've done it since about 1860, when that radical bearded Marxist Abe Lincoln stuck it to the South and freed the whaaaaaaaat?

Mittens Romney is it. The guy that Republican America thinks has the best chance of beating that radical socialist black dude and his pissed off wife this coming election. Mitt Romney? Are you fucking kidding me?

This robotic phony has been running for years. Changing his mind on everything depending on what bunch of peasants he's honoring with his presence. But the real Mitt Romney isn't even Mitt Romney. Discuss.

Willard Mitt Romney, born in 1947 in Detroit. You know Detroit. That city where they used to make cars and millions of Americans made a comfortable life for themselves. Until guys like Mitt Romney came into power. Not political power, screw that. Financial power. They destroyed the auto industry, not the hard working union folks. With their profit motive and complete disdain for the safety of the American public, these corporate raiders maximized profits for themselves, screamed poverty for their companies, blamed the unions and wrecked millions of lives. Oh yeah, until Barack Obama saved the industry with the "bail out", loans paid back with interest. Mitt Romney would have loved to have "fired people" and run the industry out of his hometown. He said so. What a prick.

Willard Mitt Romney, co founder of Bain Capital. A "venture capitalist", Mitt and his boys would buy financially troubled companies through a practice known as "leveraged buyouts", in effect buying the company using its own assets as collateral, squeezing every cent it can out of it, then selling off the remaining assets for a profit, and sending thousands of people packing off to the unemployment office. Mitt makes money, you get laid off. What a prick.

Willard Mitt Romney, the man who saved the 2002 Winter Olympics by strongarming his fellow Mormons to save the state of Utah's image from not knowing how to bribe scuzzy Euro Olympic hacks by contributing huge amounts of money and making a profit of $100 million. Yay! If you dont count the $250 million they spent on "security" that is. It's the Romney accounting way! What a prick.

But the real Willard Mitt Romney could be summed up by Seamus, Romney's Irish Setter back in 1983. The late Seamus might ask why Mitt stuffed him into a dog carrier, strapped him to the top of a car, and drove 12 hours from Boston to Canada? Christ, Seamus crapped all over the back window of the car he was so scared, winded or giving up on life. When Mitt's son, Tagg (what is up with these Republican names for children?), said oh Dad, there's brown stuff all over the back window, Willard Mitt pulled the car over at a gas station, took Seamus out of the carrier, hosed him down, and stuffed him back in that cage on top of the car. Kind of like what Mitt did at Bain Capital. Hosed you down and stuffed you into a cage. If he does that to a dog, his own dog, what would he do to you? Somebody he doesnt even know? What a prick.

Yeah that's the real Willard Mitt Romney. A robotic, emotionless prick who after his dog craps himself, doesnt have the decency to think, oh my, maybe putting the dog on top of the car wasnt such a good idea, I will let him ride in the car. Nope, not this guy.

Dog abuser, elitist who thinks nothing of betting $10K on what he wrote in a book, hacksaw capitalist who thinks "corporations are people my friend", a sadist who takes pleasure in "firing people", a man made rich by making regular folks lives miserable adding on to his third house in San Diego. Yep, third house. No fake clearing brush for this asshole if he wins.

That's the real Willard Mitt Romney. You can have him, Republican voters. Buyer's remorse is a bitch. You'll find that out soon enough.

You Cocks Suck!

2012-01-10T18:39:00.002-06:00

Can we just tell the South they won after all and let them run their own little cracker nation? South Carolina Republican moron Paul Campbell has introduced a bill in the South Carolina legislature (boy that must be a brain trust) stating that if are unemployed longer than 6 months and wish to continue getting unemployment benefits, you have to become a slave, errrr, "volunteer" for 16 hours per week serving your state masters at whatever it is you do in South Carolina. Now we all know that if you're out of work for longer than 6 months, you are a lazy bum who just doesn't want to go get a job as a CEO, a gasbag radio talk show host, or a tax sucking politician. You want to live on $235 a week unemployment riches and drink rum and watch your 65 inch flat screen all day while the rest of South Carolina works plucking chickens and voting for a liar like Nikki Haley.

Now, like most places, South Carolina has about a 10% unemployment rate. The state features an alleged adulterous Governor who ran around that state hollering that 50% of the unemployed failed drug tests. Well she was close. It was 1%. Nationwide she was even closer, it was 2%. I thought Indians were good at math? There's another state senator down Fort Sumter way that wants to test the unemployed for drugs, and make those losers pay for it themselves out of their vast savings.

I don't know, but I'm pretty sure the vast majority of the Tea Party Carolina rebs probably support this bill. After all, when you have a job, or are a social security sucking teabagger, you tend to think everybody other than you is a slacker and needs to be jailed or thrown off a bridge. But 16 hours of involuntary servitide a week? Hey, South Carolina, ever heard of the 13th Amendment? We, and by we I mean those of us with IQ's over 80, kicked your treasonous asses about 150 years ago because you forced people to "volunteer". Give it a rest.

If this bill passes, and is implemented, at least until any court in the free world deems it unconstitutional, I suggest the the South Carolina state motto be changed from "at least we're not Mississippi" to "Arbeit Macht Frei".

Iowa? Isn't That the Potato State?

2012-01-03T18:09:00.003-06:00

All right. It's finally here. The every four year fraud that is the Iowa caucuses. Where a bunch of home schoolers waddle down to the local school they loathe to cast a vote for somebody who hasn't a bowl of chips chance at an Iowa Tea Party of winning anything except an ass kicking in the future.

C Span,that network only lone gunmen in the making watch, has been popping a cork showing all the candidates posing with their fans. The Paultards dressed in skinny ties and gravy stained plaid shirts posing with the 78 year old nutjob, the horny male farmers trying to get with Michele Bachmann like she aint been got with since she married that prancing Marco guy, the people holding their noses as they stand next to Mittens Romney, the morally blinded Obama haters posing with a greasy former speaker of the house, the frothy mix of Iowans slithering up to Santorum and the former Herman Cain lovers who bring the pizza.

The Iowa caucus, come on folks, it's a tourist trap. Every four years this irrelevant bunch of small town rubes get to pretend everybody likes them and cares what they think. They get attention from a bunch of sleazy candidates, a bunch of drunken press sots, and a TV network full of liars, charlatans and blondes. Iowa gets to make a lot of money off this fraud. Much like Disney, it's all bullshit. But they keep coming and spending. Unlike Disney, who knows what a money grubbing machine it is, Iowans actually think you like them, you really like them.

Sometime later tonigh, if you can stomach it, turn on C Span and really watch what a crock of pig shit this Iowa caucus really is. And I know. I lived there at one time and participated in one of these jokes. Bullied by the local loudmouth, most of these people don't even knw what they are doing. Go stand in a corner if you like Ron Paul. Go sit over there if you like Mittens Romney. Go outside and bay at the moon if you like Michele Bachmann. That's what goes on. Seriously. A bunch of people just like your next door neighbor, you know, the guy with the NRA sticker on his truck window, go down and sit in a fucking corner of a school room. That's it. That's the first step to choosing the leader of the sort of free world. Thanks, Iowa.

Thank the invisible man in the sky you Iowa Republicans aint picked a winner since oh I don't know, ever. Keep it up tonight. Go stand in the corner for Ron Paul. If he's awake, he'll appreciate it.

Move Along, Sweetheart, Now Let The Men Talk!

2012-01-01T09:27:00.002-06:00

This will never happen again, I am sure, but I'm going to stick up (gulp) a bit for Michele Bachmann. I'm not even going to post some kind of crazy picture of her (after all she doesn't need MY help there). But here goes.

How many times during this 26 week run of that reality show called the Republican debates have we heard this woman say "I am a serious candidate"? Oh it may be funny to some as this lunatic hollers for attention on those various stages but you want to know something? She is right. She IS a serious candidate for the presidency. She is every bit as serious as Hillary was, or Pat Schroeder was, or Shirley Chisholm was back in the 70"s. But for some reason she is dismissed by the moderators as a sort of side show cheerleader yeah that's nice honey now move along type. That, my friends, is pure old fashioned sexism.

Hey look, the ONLY one of these nuts vying to lose to Barack Obama to ever win a goddamned "election" is Michele Bachman. Remember that straw poll wayyyyyyy back when in Ames? Yeah, she bought it, she paid for it and she fucking WON. Give her some respect.

She isn't going to win. She isn't going to last beyond this Tuesday's Iowa bullshit. But it sort of pisses me off that this woman is dismissed while others fall all over a worse whackjob like Ron Paul, or an empty suit like Mittens Romney, or a bloated snake like Newt Gingrich. Criticize Bachmann all you like, and I have. She is a terrible candidate and of questionable sanity but she deserves a bit of respect from the male moderators of these debates and the Sunday morning borefests.

Just looking out for the chicks, man. Even females who loathe the very being of a Michele Bachmann, or a Condi Rice, or a dope like Virginia Fox must know deep down what I mean. For if the powers that be dismiss a female candidate who has actually won something now, they will do the same when a viable Democratic female candidate runs.

Let's destroy all these Republican blowhards. But let's do it equally. Their views are medieval. And unfortunately, they are all "serious" candidates.

Say It Aint So, Sheriff Joe !!!

2011-12-26T09:14:00.003-06:00

He's the rootinest tootinest sheriff west of the Pecos, wherever that is. Sheriff Joe Arpaio of Maricopa County, Areeeezona. Yahooooooo!!!...

We all know about Sheriff Joe and his tough guy stance. How he dresses up convicts in pink and throws them a baloney sammich every now and then and makes them live in tents and sticks them out on a road all chained up and makes them pick up stuff so your average leather skinned Arizona pale face can drive by and go "I love that Sheriff Joe cuz he's tough on crime, now where did Bill say I could pick up a guy to clean my pool for $10?" Yeah, Sheriff Joe, tough guy, keeping them Apaches from an uprising for 120 years now.

Sheriff Joe is really nothing more than the Lawrence Rainey and Cecil Price of his day. You might remember those two redneck Mississippi sheriffs from the 1960's and a little incident involving three young men named Schwerner, Goodman and Chaney? Sheriff Joe likes to send out what they call "sweeps". Joe sends a whole lot of his deputies (you know, deputies, the guys not smart enough to become real cops) out into neighborhoods to pull people over in cars for various things like not using turn signals or speeding or looking all Hispanicee or something. Well for some reason 57% or so of all arrests involved "illegal aliens". I say "illegal aliens" instead of "undocumented workers" because if I hear one more person say "what is it about eeelegal you don't understand" my head will explode. So the Homeland Security Department, you know, that big government department created by the small government Republicans, told Sheriff Joe that they don't respect his authoritayyyy any longer and to stop the "racial profiling". Meanwhile, Sheriff Joe started destroying e-mails and records that might implicate him for "racial profiling", which of course he does not do (winky winky). Sheriff Joe is losing time after time now in his quest for whatever it is his quest is.

Oh yeah, Tea Party speaker. Much like his fellow scam artist, that illegal half Governor from that pretend state north of the Pecos, Parah Sailin, Sheriff Joe likes to be pampered with private planes and 5 star hotels and room service provided by "questionable citizens" for doing one thing. Giving a little talk to a bunch of old Teabagger people who really just want their white country back. Some probably even say "Arrrrr-pay-ohhhh where did "his people" come from anyway?" From under a rock like the Palins probably. Anyway, Sheriff Joe gets paid a whole lot of money to yammer on about the ACLU and illegals and Obama and Eric Holder (shhhh, you know, that black guy runnin the Justice Department) and heads in the desert and drug cartels and rapists and murderers. You know, one big fun time at the Tea Party Ball! And it works much like when the Quittah from Wasilla does the same thing you betcha by golly. Idiots pay $50- $100 to hear the same thing they can hear for free on any Fox News show on a nightly basis. Oh I know, it just aint the same as hearing it in person. And it gets them out of the home for a night. And it really gets the old blood boiling too. Yeah, who needs the Cialis after a night of Sheriff Joe?

Sheriff Joe is on his way out. He refuses to investigate hundreds of rapes and murders because the victims are not citizens. Instead he loves to arrest field workers, busboys and dishwashers for not having papers. Sheriff Joe, kowtowed to by every Republican whore on earth, and loving every second of his celebrity status. Now, he's in trouble with the very law he pretends to enforce. As far as I'm concerned, the faster this self aggrandizing blowhard is fitted for his own pink jumpsuit, size extra fat headed, and given a hunk of green lunchmeat, the better. Yahoooooooooo!!!

Shanta Claush Ish Coming To Town!

2011-12-25T08:18:00.001-06:00

Everybody have a good day! Then tomorrow starts a whole new day to face palm and despair. Start drinking...NOW!

When Do The Reruns Start?

2011-12-13T11:04:00.002-06:00

Jesus H Christ, this abortion of a reality show has gone on longer than most of the cool shows I watch that get cancelled after 8 episodes. I'm talking to you, ABC. You put this shit on and you cancel Flash Forward and Life on Mars? No wonder I only turn ABC on to watch The Middle, Suburgatory and , uhhhhhhhhhh, uhhhhhhhh, hey Rick Perry, what's that third show I watch? Oh yeah, Modern Family, you know, that show with the two homos that Santorum watches in the dark with the sound turned down fantasizing what it would be like to wrestle with Cam.

Another Republican debate, live from Des Moines, Iowa where these Republican nimrods all spent time sucking up to socially retarded home schoolers who get their Jesus on every four years to caucus and send one Republican religious freak into oblivion. Hey, as far as I'm concerned, that 1988 victory you Republican Iowa dorks thrust upon the rest of the sane states by caucusing for Pat Robertson should disqualify your whole state from ever having any kind of power ever again. You obviously have no idea what to do with it. Huckabee? Bachmann? Go sit down and let the adults handle this.

Yeah everybody is all atwitter over Mittens Romney offering to bet Brokeback Rick Perry on something his book said or didn't say. Who gives a shit? Who read the goddamned thing anyway? But the first monetary figure that comes to Mittens' frazzled head is $10,000? Like that's a buck or 5 bucks in normal guy terms. What, is that what Mittens keeps in that magic underwear of his? $10K? Just for a rainy day? Jesus, Mitt, betting is not your deal! Hey, Mitt, I'll bet you $10k that not one person with an IQ over 80 can actually watch another one of these debates without drinking themselves into a frothy mixture of puke and santorum. Easiest $10K ever.

Ron Paul. Oh my. How can a man make perfect sense for 20 seconds or so and then veer off into some sort of Peter Max looking la la land. Oh yeah, I believe that we do not belong in foreign lands forcing our will on them (veer) and we should then start trading big and little rocks for currency. If you live in a rockless land, too bad for you. (Cheers from the Paultards with lots of rocks in their heads)

Newtie. They are all ganging up on you now. Calling you out for your philandering and your shameless pocket stuffing. Don't they realize what a fucking genius you are? You have that 80+ IQ. Newtie, the competition is weak. You're playing 1-AA teams while hoping to get to the Sugar Bowl and take on Obama State. Not sure you really know what's happening, Newtie. Obama prays for your nomination. In that Muslim way of his.

Rick Perry. Why? I know you aren't afraid to express your Christianity even though all those libs keep passing laws outlawing Jesus. You don't want the gays serving openly in the military. How about gays in gubmint? You like that, don't you? DADT for Texas! Yee Haw!

Michele Bachmann. Hey girl, you really are batshit crazy. What, from that mail order law degree that charlatan Oral Roberts gave you, to your lack of knowledge that working for the IRS isn't really the "private sector", to your wacky cleverisms like "Newt Romney", you really are just eye candy for the tea bagger elders wishing they'd have found you instead being stuck with Edna. The only reason you still exist in this race is because even those same tea bagger elders know a beard when they see one and yep, they think still got a shot with ya!

Rick Santorum. Please pay attention to him. Only in Iowa could this douche nozzle still matter. Pushing his woe is me we christians are so discriminated against bullshit on the homeschoolers is his only salvation. Santorum is that kid nobody wants around, who keeps popping up with his crazy ass philosophy. Shoo, kid, is what the rest of these dopes are saying.

Hey, Barack Obama, it's still working. These easy marks are all still here. Though the bad news about Herman Cain was unfortunate, Newtie and Mittens are still beating the shiite out of each other. Thing are looking good, my friend. If we can keep these Republican fire breathers occupied with their tea parties and poor folks hatred, they may never notice their secret weapon. Shhhhhh, you know, that reasonable guy, the one you appointed as Ambassador to China just to get him the hell out of the country? Shhhhhh, I think he's still out there. I won't mention his name if you won't. These Republicans are so 2nd amendmentee, you'd think they could equate hunting and an activity that men like. You know, I'm one of those hunt men...Figure it out for yourselves. I aint' helping.

Newtie Is A Blowfish!

2011-12-08T08:13:00.002-06:00

Oh my God! Just when you think the Republican yokels can't do anything more entertaining than elevate a book huckster like Rock You Like a Herman Cain to the top of the polls, they do it again. The Teabagger favorite has now become Newt Gingrich. Jesus H Christ, Republican primary mouth breathers, Newt Gingrich? Why not Rod Blogoevich? At least he's got charisma. Gingrich should be Rod's cellmate to be honest, a word Gingrich had removed from his scatter brain.

You have to be kidding me, Republican knuckle draggers. Newt Gingrich? You hate that slippery Mittens Romney so much you go for a wild eyed crazy woman first, then when she shows the crazy too much, it's off to support the Texas dumber than Bush guy, then when he says something about your black hearts and says oops you abandon him for the non scary black dude who speaks perfect gibberish just like you, nine nine nine and iz becky becky becky stan. Then when he becomes the "victim" of the lying bitches and the commie media and gets one upside his head from Gloria you move on to THIS? Newt Gingrich? What the fuck is the matter with you Republican neanderthals? Get a brain, morans!

Newtie is about third on my dream list for Obama to run against. Right after that wild eyed foster parent from Minnesota and that lecherous back massaging pizza guy. Newt is a walking scandal. We all know of his inability to walk the straight and narrow. We've all heard the stories of how he served divorce papers to his first wife, Jackie, while she was in the hospital recovering from cancer surgery. No, she wasn't on her deathbed and we should stop saying that because it makes us look as truth challenged as him. We know that while he was impeaching Bill Clinton for getting hummers from a chubby intern, while still married to Marianne Gingrich, he was meeting a woman 23 years his junior and banging her after Mass. No wonder he converted to Catholicism. That would be Callista Gingrich, the Tiffany's enthusiast. Geez, how many chicks has this guy snookered into marrying his fat bloated ass?

And that's just Newtie's personal life. Forget about the backdoor book deal with Rupert Murdoch, the bounced checks during the Congressional check kiting scandals, the personal profiteering using tax exempt charities to enrich himself and his buddies, his "college courses" in which he recruited Hitler youth types to run for office, the $330K fine he paid for ethics violations, the fact, yes fact, he was the first Speaker of the House to be reprimanded by his colleagues 395-28 and resigned after that public humiliation. And that's just through 1999 for chrissakes.

Since then this scumbag has taken money from Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae as an "historian". He feeds his wife's lavish tastes with a $1 million account at Tiffany's while expressing concern for overspending by the Government he loathes yet profits from. He dismisses a Mediterranean cruise as a fact finding mission to "study" Greece's faltering economy. I mean this guy makes Nixon look like Abe fucking Lincoln.

But you Republican hillbillies just keep wandering aimlessly looking for anybody to get that black guy out of your White House . Anybody!!! Except of course that Mormom flip flopping son of a bitch from Taxachusetts. You know, the one who may have a chance. Nahhhhhhhhh, we'd rather dress up like Ben Franklin, handle our snakes, praise Jebus, and ignore the chaotic life of an immoral prick like Newtie Gingrich. And besides, it's easier for us to sit back in our easy chairs and piss and moan than actually try to win. And hey, those 9 year old kids, you know, the ones those minorities always have so they can get more tax money, they need to get a freakin job, just like Newtie says. Now, where's my social security check?

Support Your Local Police!

2011-11-21T18:56:00.003-06:00

Hey, look at those hippies assaulting that poor police officer, Lt. John Pike, (japikeiii@ucdavis.edu)at the University of California-Davis. Lt.Pike, who gets paid $116,000 per year to be assaulted by dirty jobless lazy slackers like those sitting maniacs threatening Lt. Pike (japikeiii@ucdavis.edu) . No amount of money could possibly compensate poor Lt. Pike to put up with such hideous assaults like those depicted in that picture. Let's all e-mail Lt.Pike to tell him how much we appreciate his sacrifice and how he puts his life on the line everyday for us so that people sitting down don't kill us. Thanks, Lt.Pike (japikeiii@ucdavis.edu) you are a credit to your public sector profession.

Another American hero, Lt John Pike, of the University of Cal-Davis Police Department.

Once again, tell him how much you appreciate his protecting us from crazy sitting down people at japikeiii@ucdavis.edu

Hamlin-Hernandez 2012!

2011-11-20T17:19:00.003-06:00

Ramiro Ortega-Hernandez thinks he's Christ. He shot up the White House because he thinks Obama is the devil, or the anti-christ or some Muslim Kenyan or whatever.

Then there's Loren Hamlin. He's in jail doing 3-5 years in Lincoln,Nebraska for burglary. He was eligible to be let out in April of 2012. But Loren decided to write the President of the United States a little letter from his cozy jail cell. He told Barack Obama when he gets out of jail in April of 2012, he's going to track him down and kill him. Once again, he wrote the letter from the penitentiary. You do know all about that censoring thing in prison, right, Loren?

So you have a religious nut from Idaho, Ramiro, who should have been at that crying religious whackfest over in Iowa with Gingrich and Cain and the rest proclaiming he is Christ and how Obama is the anti-him.

Then you have Loren, a complete imbecile, probably about as smart as Cain and certainly as smart as Santorum (dont google it).

So there you have it, my friends, the dream ticket for the 2012 Republican presidential nomination. An idiot and a religious kook.

Hamlin-Hernandez 2012! Because the Republicans aren't quite ready for a Hispanic top of the ticket type.

Roar Lion Roar!

2011-11-19T15:47:00.002-06:00

I'm sure everyone is sick to death of Penn State by now. The criminal enterprise that is Penn State has been exposed and the shit hasn't even hit the fan yet. Much like the other criminal enterprise, The Catholic Church, Penn State got away with the despicable cover up for years because, like the Catholic Church, Penn State had its sycophants and deniers whose entire life would be exposed as a lie if this thing blew up. Well, it blew up.

Religion and football. Both sacred. Both enabled by millions of true believers who refuse to do what's right when wrong is uncovered. The Catholic Church, enabled by its millions of scared little minions unwilling to let their brain work. Shifting pederast priests from location to location to stay one step ahead of the law. Leaving a pile of victims in its quest for power and money. Enabled by its superstitious congregation. Fucking disgusting.

Penn State, football royalty. Led by an ancient figurehead whose head in the sand mentality enabled an evil to grow and prosper in his presence. Covered up literally from bottom to top. From the lowly unpaid grad assistant right up to the President of the University and right up from there to the football coach. They are all guilty as hell and responsible for untold pain to children. All to keep stuffing 110,000 paying customers into a stadium 7 times a year. Too bad, kid, there's money to be made. Fucking disgusting.

Fire them all. Penn State's entire athletic department should go. In fact, though I know this will never happen, the entire football program should be disbanded. There isn't an honest man in any position of power there. The players should be allowed to move on and the whole damn thing should be shut down. It's a cesspool back there.

Same for the Catholic Church. There are so many criminals running that organization now it makes me sick. There are mafia dons doing time for less than what some of these "men of god" have done with their cover ups and racketeering. The jails should be full of guys in collars and funny hats. Seriously.

Joe Paterno is a God back in Happy Valley. Drunken students rioted after Joe the Denier was canned last week for his refusal to do right. Oh he's legally in the clear, he told somebody. But he is morally as culpable as anybody. He saw Sandusky in the Penn State facilities for 10 years after the "incident" he was told about. He did nothing. He said nothing. He deserved his unceremonious departure. The students who stood up for him by turning over news vans and worshipping on his front lawn should be ashamed. I'm sure they aren't and I'm also sure most of them will be solid rock ribbed Republicans when they grow the fuck up.

When Nebraska played back there last week, much was made of the giant circle jerk praying being done before the game. So what? All the praying in the world aint gonna change a thing. There are abusers and there are victims. There are co-conspirators in covering up said abuse. A lot of them were out on that field "praying". That made me sick too.

Here's To You, Mr. Simon!

2011-11-10T15:52:00.002-06:00

There are relatively few musical geniuses around who still matter after all these years. Most of the musical geniuses of the past are content with touring and playing their hits for the adoring masses of baby boomers willing to part with a Benji or two. Then there's the others. The ones who still write songs with great lyrics and social commentary relevant to today's world. Dylan, Springsteen, Young, and perhaps the greatest of them all, Paul Simon.

Paul Simon came to town last night not even 24 hours after a talentless goofball named Ax'l Rose showed up 2 1/2 hours late and played until 1:30 in the morning for the tweakers willing to stay and listen. The stench was still in the arena when Paul Simon took the stage promptly at 8:15 for a 2 hour concert full of old hits and new songs that kicked ass. Backed by a band of veteran players so diverse in their musical talents I saw a drummer pick up a guitar while still sitting at the drums, soloing on the guitar and then hammering the drums some more. WTF? This is great stuff.

Paul Simon is a genius. His voice is still there. His songwriting talent is still there. His guitar playing is beyond reproach. His band is top notch. Once again, music made me glad to be alive.

One of the most extraordinary things I've ever witnessed during the first encore. Simon played an acoustic version of the Sounds of Silence. You could have heard hair falling out of old hippie heads it was so hushed. My god, it was moving.

We've seen it all now. Simon with Garfunkel. Garfunkel without Simon. And now Simon without Garfunkel. All three were without match. Artie has the voice of an angel. Paul has the mind of a great poet. Together....WOW...Apart...WOW.

Bullying For Jesus!

2011-11-05T08:31:00.002-05:00

Way to go, Michigan. Passing one of those anti-bullying laws to keep all those overfed, future teabaggers in line. Stop them from harassing some kid so much he finally ends up hanging from a curtain rod because he was born in the way God made him/her. You know, God. That invisible guy in the sky that justifies your hate, ignorance and Detroit Lions worship.Good job, Michigan Republicans. No more bullying in Michigan. Not only that, the atheist pro-bullying Dumbocrats all voted no on your bill. I knew you Republicans were the way and the light. I am officially changing my registration to Republican as soon as I can whip up some good old fashioned disgust for my fellow man. WHAT?????

What's this? I have been informed that Michigan Republicans inserted a tiny little exception to this anti-bullying legislation. If you have a "“sincerely held religious belief or moral conviction” you can go right ahead and call the theater kids "fags" and nothing can be done because Jesus hates homos, we all know that.

The father of Matt Eppling, a young 14 year old kid, who after being bullied by the closet cases at an East Lansing school, killed himself back in 2002 even said this law is complete bullshit. Kevin Eppling stated, in effect, bullying is a-ok in Michigan. As long as your pretend icon tells you it is. Nice going, Michigan Republicans.

My solution to this law is simple. Conjure up some "religious beliefs and moral convictions" and start bullying the shit out of everybody in the Bible club. Ram your car into the guy with the "Abortion Stops a Beating Heart" bumper sticker. Turn off the oxygen tank of the next teabagger you see. Lock his wheels on his Gubmint provided scooter he rolls around in. Call Eric Cantor a pencil neck. Pinch Herman Cain on his ass. Start bullying Republicans, America. It all has to do with your
"religious beliefs and moral convictions".

"Religious beliefs and moral convictions". You know, like those 19 guys had back on September 11th, 2001.

Omaha's Famous Vacant Lot!

2011-11-04T09:59:00.004-05:00

Hey it's Breeders Cup weekend and for those of you who have no idea what that means, well you are in the majority. The vast majority. It's horse racing's Super Bowl. And since it's a sport I love, it, like baseball, is on the decline as the millions who follow it are all at death's door. Compared to the other clientele at a track I am a toddler. When I go to a racetrack, I feel like playing on the jungle gym, I get carded, I get asked if I've lost my daddy, I cry when my horsie gets tired and finishes 4th, I ask for a sippy cup for my Coors Light, I ask people when it's going to get over, I fall down a lot, and I wonder why a 1200 pound animal lets a drunken midget tell it what to do.

This brings me to my point. Why DOES a 1200 pound muscled animal let some 110 pound person, probably hungover and cranky tell it what the hell to do? Well for one thing, horses are dumb. This is my same question to the water carriers of the right. Why do you let 1% of the population tell you what to do? Are you dumb too?

Recently the Occupy Omaha folks were "evicted" from a vacant lot in an Omaha neighborhood known for run down apartments, goat restaurants, crack dealers and sweatshirted hookers. The reason the city gave for "evicting" them from the world renowned vacant lot was because of complaints from the neighborhood "residents" of open fires and pissing in public. Chrissakes, in that neighborhood, those activities would be considered revitalization.

To get to my point, I read comments on news websites. Probably not a good idea, but I cannot resist feeling intellectually superior while reading to the ramblings of Husker69 on how he/she sees people at the Wal Mart buying lobsters and caviar with food stamps while talking on their I Phones and hopping into their Cadillac Escalades while dragging their 8 kids back to their taxpayer funded mansion. Just cannot resist I tell ya.

The comments on the "eviction" of Occupy Omaha floored me. "Dirty hippies", "Unemployed losers", "smelly felons", "lazy bums", "welfare scum", "communists", "socialist Obama supporters", "too bad the cops didn't shoot a few of them", "drop them off in the 'hood and see how long they stay". Yeah, quality well thought out stuff like that comprised 90% of the comments. Either that or Herman Cain was working overtime typing out nonsense in between hitting on chicks on Match.com.

My question goes back to the beginning. I assume most of these people are not the 1%. I mean, to give them some of their own medicine, don't any of you "morans" have jobs? You seem to have plenty of time to pound out hate inspired shit like that all day long. Yeah, I'm talking to you, Nobama2012! Why do you let the 100 pound dude sit on your back and whip you into doing what they want you to do? Are you stupid? The 100 pounder, the 1%, has no power unless you give it to him/her. And you give it to them on a regular basis. The Koch Bros are whipping the shit out of you and then telling you it's not them, it's that horse next to you crowding you. You buy that?

I've often wondered why a stupid horse, sick of being whipped, doesn't just get fed up, stop running, throw the 100 pounder off his back, and stomp the shit out of them. A tiny part of me would cheer that. Ok, a large part of me would cheer that but nonetheless, horses are dumb. Humans are not. STOP letting that little guy whip your ass. You have the power. Goddamnit, start using it.

Cain & Enable!

2011-11-02T16:09:00.002-05:00

Oh Herman Cain. You old rascal you. I know the restaurant industry is full of young "actresses" looking to take your order, but come on, Herman, not THAT kind of order.

Rick Perry, you ol' sweet talker you. Rambling on like a drunken George W Bush at an AA meeting. I've never like ya better, Rick. You sounded like a lot of fun. If you were sittin' around the Eagles club on Prime Rib night. Not so much if you want to run the free world.

This is what they have to run against Obama? A man who has settled sexual harrassment lawsuits, who bursts into song on a whim, who states "I don't have the facts on this but...", a man who wants to fry Mexicans on an electric fence, a man who has so black a heart he states the 10-25% of his fellow countrymen without meaningful employment have only themselves to blame, a man so warped in his values he goes straight to a human maggot like Rush Limbaugh to fight his battles for him, and a man who wears a hat right out of a Superfly movie?

Another man, a Texas nitwit who rambles on incoherently and loses in the coherence department to the likes of Michele Bachmann? A man who coldly allows an innocent man to be lethally injected and then fires the state board members who call him on it? A so called Christian who has presided over more killings than any other state leader and is applauded for it? A man who falls for the Canadian version of The Onion and quotes from a fake story? A man who sucks up to a vulgar fake millionaire like Donald Trump and digs up the birther nonsense only the craziest of the crazy buy into any more. A man who put up with a rock emblazoned with an N bomb for years on his huntin' preserve?

This what the GOP has to offer? The only challengers to Plastic Man? The only challengers? Are you kidding me?

The Robot, Willard Romney, is bad enough. A flip flopping, principle-less, erectile dysfunction model looking whitebread dullard, Romney is perfect for the GOP'ers who simply want to offer up another Bob Dole and get 2012 over with. He has nothing to offer the meat chomping conservatives who somehow think their loud, boorish behavior dominates American politics. Romney is a loser. The kind of guy a 35 year old unmarried woman settles for. Perfectly good provider, looks good, and has the excitement of a vibrator without batteries. That's Romney. A vibrator. A cheap one at that.

Obama has troubles. That's for sure. But don't forget this guy is a vicious campaigner. He know his shit. He knows his pop culture. He is with it. He reads. He watches bad TV. He knows what a Kardashian is. He knows who LMFAO is. He knows about Dancing with the "Stars". He knows what The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo is. He knows what Steve Jobs' last words were. This guy is hip.

Romney is the guy who stands to pose with young black kids and suddenly shouts out "Who let the dogs out? Woof woof". Nice 2000 drop, Willard. None of those kids were even alive when that novely song came out. What's next? A nice 1993 Whoomp There It Is shout out? Willard, you are simply too white to win. I never thought I'd say this but compared to a stiff like Romney, John Kerry looks like Snoop Dogg. Fo shizzle ma nizzle!

Squirrel!

2011-10-16T14:12:00.003-05:00

Occupy Omaha drew a police estimated 1000 folks which is about 900 more than I thought would show up. We marched around downtown amid catcalls from Teabaggers (hey old people, get a job, get a haircut or calling somebody a communist is really not clever nor relevant). Hey media, STOP equating us with the fucking Tea Party. Those codgers are not new, grass roots, or anti-anything except minorities, gays or eating salads once in a while.

I am not saying there weren't some Occupier kooks there with their hammer and sickle signs and the weed drawings. The Ron Paultards were there in full force with their Ayn Randian signs and deep desire for legal pot. Hey, maybe their kooks and our kooks have a common ground. There's a hookah store right up 13th. Check it out dudes. I can do without all of them.

It's a start. When there are 4 rallies in a genetic red state like Nebraska, it means something. Perhaps the fact the Huskers were not playing gave a bunch of people something to do, including the Occupiers and the scooter riding tea party. I am still baffled by the Tea Party Animal who told me he was there to show people "the other side". The other side? Looks like the Koch Bros have spent their money well distracting these dementia infected pensioners. Hey hey hey, over here! Snap! Focus, teabagger guy! They remind me of Doug, the dog in Up. SQUIRREL!!!

Occupy What? Everywhere!

2011-10-15T11:16:00.002-05:00

I turned the corner in front of the City County building in Omaha around 9 am and was met by a burly older man (and by "older" I mean at least my age) in a Husker shirt who asked me "What side are you on?". Huh? "Over there or over here?". To my right (how appropriate) were about 6 or so Tea Partiers with "creative" signage about getting a job and how much they love capitalism. To my left were hundreds of folks ranging in age from 10 to 80 who were "occupying Omaha" much to the chagrin of this official Tea Party "greeter". This is not going to be pretty.

I could not resist telling this man how disappointed I was at his movement becoming just the same old out of the UN, John Bircher freaks they've always been. "Did you know the organizer of this event is an avowed communist?" he asked me. Where did this alleged "avowing" occur? "In the paper". When? "I don't know a couple of weeks ago" He said he was an avowed communist? "well he may as well have".......Ok pal, I get it. Thanks for proving my point.

Arguing is my weakness. I cannot resist arguing with someone I perceive as being wrong because of their own lack of knowledge. Not that I am so smart, but because I read. A lot. And the person I'm arguing with can read also. I urge them to. But Fox News inevitably wins. It's easier. To be misinformed and comfortable is easy. To be informed is power. Facts often have a liberal bias.

A 14 year old kid wandered over to talk to the Tea Party MC and I was gone. Over to my people. The 1%. But not before a young man (by young I mean younger than me) held up a sign that said "discrimination against 1% is still discrimination". Once again I couldn't resist. Maybe it was my "carrying water for the plutocrats" or the "bet you're a Yankees fan" or "what's it like to be a Kochsucker" that made him angry but we did not part as buddies.

The rally, for a red state, was organized and peaceful. Lots of cool people all fed up with the status quo and the legalized thievery that goes on everyday on Wall Street. Let's keep it up. No letting up of the pressure. As the old saying goes. First they ignore you, then they mock you, then they fight you, then you win.

More later.

Chop! Chop!

2011-10-13T15:58:00.000-05:00

Is That Guy Fawkes Over There?

2011-10-05T15:54:00.002-05:00

I hate Wall Street. When I was much younger I got into arguments with my mother about Wall Street because my Dad made his living dealing with Wall Street. I think Dad despised Wall Street also but as they say hey, it's a living.

Couple of years back in my only trip to New York, my brother took Max and I down to Wall Street where I quipped in my oh so hyperbolic way that behind that GIANT American flag the greedheads had placed on the front of the Stock Exchange lay more criminals than your average state penitentiary. I meant it then and I mean it now. These people are less than human in their self indulgence and lack of humanity. Ripping off hard working Americans for their own benefit and having the gall to place an American flag in front of their monetary crack house as a diversion to what goes on in there. It made me want to vomit.

The occupiers of Wall Street are real patriots. Not that you could tell from the coverage on the mass media, whether it be Fox or MSNBC. The occupiers are portrayed as clueless hippies and kids with not much to do. Fox News and their millionaire yakkers have resorted to the 1960's tactic of telling protestors to take a shower, get a job, and get a haircut. Really? That old line. Well I have news for those self preservationists at Fox. The unwashed, jobless long hairs won in the 1960's and hopefully will win now.

I don't know which scene I have eyeballed is worse. The NYC Police treating the occupiers as street thugs by macing them, tasing them or roughing them up, the disgusting sight of tuxedoed hedge fund creeps and their ho's sipping champagne high above Wall Street mocking the 99%, or the stunning lack of fair coverage from the news media. The sight of the Wall Street slavemasters mocking protesters from high above on the balcony of the Stock Exchange should be shown on every network newscast from now until the time that shithole comes tumbling to the ground. They are laughing at you, America. They know you will do nothing. They know half of you are so brainwashed by religion, Fox News, and economic advice from millionaires, you will look at the occupation of Wall Street as commies coming to take your Christmas fund away. Wake up!. Learning about economics from the likes of Rush Limbaugh or O'Reilly or the Kochs is like going to a charm school run by Bo Pelini (sorry Big Red fans). These millionaires aren't telling you anything that doesn't benefit THEM. I have no idea why that's so hard for Middle America to grasp. So stop being their cannon fodder for chrissakes.

The Tea Party (yes I can call them that if I have to) is portrayed as a bunch of populist grass roots normal everyday folks fed up with out of control spending and big government. The occupiers of Wall Street are portrayed as nuts. Hey look, I've been to two Tea Parties. These are definitely everyday folks. But what they are fed up with is welfare and government aid to children and food stamps and black people, I mean poor people, and not being able to own a bazooka and black people in the White House ,I mean Democrats in the White House and the changing of the demographics of the country they grew up in. You know, the one where white folks ruled and the rest of those other people stayed in their own neighborhoods and shut their yaps.

Wall Street miscreants steal more on a daily basis than the entire poor population does in a year. Yet the teabaggers continue to carry water for the Kochs and the Limbaughs. I really don't know if it's possible to change that perception of the thieving minorities for these people. Racism is an inbred thing. Most of them don't even know they are. They deny it so much they've convinced themselves THEY are the victims. But whatever. The occupation of Wall Street may change minds. Not many, but some. If it changes one, it's worth it.

Occupy away kids! Tear that fucking place down if you have to. The American economic system is doing 99% of us no good anyway.

Some Stupid With A Flare Gun Burned The Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame To The Ground!

2011-09-27T17:01:00.003-05:00

Hey,there's a lot wrong with this world and changing it is very difficult. But one of the biggest wrongs on earth is the fact these guys are NOT in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Deep Purple is not there, folks. It's the most unbelievable thing about that place. This year's nominees include such rock icons as Eric B & Hakim. Is that a morning zoo in Kalamazoo? Guns N Roses? The Cure? Chaka Khan? Ugh!

Deep Purple was my first concert back in 1973 in Lincoln's Pershing Auditorium. When I heard the start of Highway Star back on that Friday night I was hooked. I've seen some shit since then, including many groups IN the Hall of Fame I hate. I'm not going to argue that Guns N Roses doesn't belong there, but if it's true that the reason Deep Purple can't get in is because Ritchie Blackmore is an asshole, what the hell is Axel Rose doing there? Look up that word in the dictionary and you see that headbanded Halloween masked freak's picture. I am outraged!

Come on. Deep Purple is the bomb. Still is. Who doesn't learn guitar by strumming Smoke on the Water? You think the fact Michele Bachmann won a straw poll is outrageous. Deep Purple being snubbed AGAIN is really an outrage. Disagree? HUSH!

I Want You For Class Warfare!

2011-09-26T14:08:00.002-05:00

Class Warfare? Really? Are you guys serious this time? I'm all for it. Where do I enlist? Because I'd really like to kick that drunk Andrew Breitbart right in the franks and beans he wants 90% of us to subsist on.

Everytime you see the inevitable talk of raising tax rates on the wealthiest individuals, you hear that term "class warfare" shouted from the castle berms and repeated by the useful idiots down below who think the drawbridge will soon come down to let them in. "Class Warfare" has been waged on the middle class for about 30 years now by the castle dwellers and they are kicking our ass. They call it "trickle down". I call it pissing on me and telling me it's life sustaining water.

The class warriors from above have been destroying the middle class, destroying the unions, destroying the right to vote, destroying the right to sue negligent corporations, destroying the environment, destroying the educational system and destroying my eardrums with their media friendly bullshit for years. And it's time it stopped. It's time to fight back for once and stop being afraid the big bad job creator will ship your job to China or Vietnam just plain eliminate it and make your co worker do twice as much. I have news for you. They'd cut your throat and tell you it's elective surgery tomorrow if it made their bottom line go up a dollar. They hate you. You are a lazy, unqualified sot who steals from them by even demanding a salary. The problem is, a lot of you do their dirty work for them. I see it everyday. $30K a year Republicans, convinced they are just thissssssss far from getting that big promotion and a free ticket to the corporate skybox to see Stevie Nicks. Ha. You people. WTF.

The latest villain is Warren Buffett. The billionaire with the inexplicable want for fairness is now the subject of the talk radio cretins bile. If I hear one more of these radio faces and their listeners say "well Warren Buffett is free to write a big check to the IRS if he wants to pay more taxes" I will ask that the drawbridge be dropped right on my head cuz I can't take it anymore. It's not original, it's not clever, it's not funny and it's also not relevant to the discussion. Buffett simply wants reality when it comes to fixing this fucked up economy. Reality, the fact that the wealthy pay less of a percentage of taxes as their wealth goes up. Reality, that if you cut middle class taxes, the money gets spent and the economy prospers. Reality, that if you cut the wealthy's taxes, the money gets holed up offshore and does no good. Reality, that the wealthy being taxed 4% more is not going to make them throw up their hands and say I'm done. I quit. Right, Bill O'Reilly?

So let the warfare begin. Tax the enemy from 35 to 39%. See what happens. Carnage in the streets? Millions of deaths? Torture? Nope, a gigantic collective shrug from the rich. Like a fly has buzzed their Chablis. Kind of like they think of us now. Flies. Stop letting ourselves get swatted and start biting back.

Why You Little........!!!!!

2011-09-23T14:05:00.002-05:00

Oh it's been a long month, a long year, a long two years. Selling a house is a bitch, especially when you have incompetents, including me, running the show. But it's done. Thanks, Bush and you Republicans for fucking up the economy and pretty much forcing us to give the damn house away. Anyway, enough of my personal pissing and moaning. Onward.

I just keep getting angry. These Republican nincompoops running for President are bad enough with their ass kissing and flip flopping and desire to suck up to the dregs of society,otherwise known as the teabaggers. I hate to sound like a one note Max's Dad here by continually harping on these pricks, but it has to be done or my head is going to explode and turn this state even redder than it already is.

Look, the candidates running for the nomination of that party of privilege are all a bit off. Whether it be the wild eyed craziness of Michele Bachmann or the lack of principles of Mittens Romney or the shucks y'all Bushit of Rick Perry or the froth spewing from a body opening of Rick Santorum (dont google him)or the philandering pablum of Newt Gingrich or the house boy capitalism of Herman Cain or the who the hell is that Limbaugh spouting Gary Johnson or the suddenly seems sane compared to the rest of them but still right wing crap of Jon Huntsman it still doesn't even compare to the mouth breathers whom they drop to their knees for. The Tea Party.

Late in August while running through a park here in Omaha, I wandered upon the Tea Party Express parked in a gravel lot. There were vendors selling borderline racist bumper stickers and t shirts to the lawn chair sitting blue hairs who drove the Buick down to listen to the "wisdom" of these scam artists. I stopped to listen, inevitably wandering over to the 6 or so protesters and asking if this was the "cool" section. Onstage, yacking to the government subsidized oldsters who applauded any time one of them said "one term president" were a group of folks who one by one, took the stage to holler about debt ceilings and deficits and socialism (how ironic that 3/4 of these idiots were on Medicare and Socialism Security) children and grandchildren and oh yeah, to proclaim over and over and over and over they were not racists. Geez, who said ya were, guy with the Obama as an African chief T shirt. Hey, if you say that you are not something after nobody accused you of being it, like when Larry Craig said he wasn't gay after nobody said he was, then you are. Well when the third straight blabberer started off by saying she wasn't a racist, I ran off before I called her a fat cracker.

I used to think these teabaggers were misinformed, talk show brainwashed, or just plain stupid. But after the last three Republican "debates", I am convinced they are all three. And also black hearted sociopaths.

Three debates back when Bush Junior, Rick Perry, was asked about his sleeping habits after whacking more humans legally than any other person in US history, the audience of souless cro magnons cheered wildly. Ok, they don't like murderers, who does? But killing them, guilty or not, is a-ok with this bunch. Yeah, fry 'em. ok, teabaggers, now shut up and go to church were you can get erections at the sight of your lord and savior being executed.

Two debates back, when Ron Paul the Anarchist was being asked if he would let an uninsured person die rather than give government help, horned devils in the teabag audience hollered Yeah! Nice. This was THE most appalling thing I have ever seen in American politics, and I've seen a lot. Pat Buchanan's 1992 cross dressing Nuremberg speech. Ronnie Reagan the Saint honoring SS soldiers at Bitburg. Our own Governor Mini Me Heineman vetoing Medicaid funds for pregnant women because they may be illegal right before he signed some bullshit abortion law cuz he's so pro-life. APPALLING all but nothing like that audience sheering a hypothetical death due to lack of funds.

And then last night. The BOOING of a gay soldier for daring to ask the obvious question of Man on Dog Santorum (dont google) if he would repeal DADT. BOOING? A soldier? Your precious military men? BOOING a guy who has risked it all so you fucking morons can go and act like chimps? Fuck you Tea Party. I really can't say it any other way. May you all rot in hell you compassionless assclowns. And yeah I know there's no hell other than being in the same area as these assholes bu they don't. Little do they know that the only devil that exists is right there inside of them.

Next Year He's Going To Nathans!

2011-08-14T15:59:00.003-05:00

Congratulations to Congressnut Michele Bachmann on paying enough overweight Iowans to vote for her in Saturday's straw poll.

To celebrate, Marcus Bachmann decided to give in to his natural urges.

Ben Nelson For Senate?

2011-08-09T16:29:00.004-05:00

I never thought anything or anybody could get me to vote for Ben Nelson. But, folks, this is the tool who would replace Ben Nelson in the Senate. Jon Bruning is the Republican Attorney General of this state and he wants to unseat Nelson for being a commie socialist. Hey, Bruning made Ben Nelson look like Steve King (Moron-Ia) back when he was a young law student at the University of Nebraska back in the 1980's with his pro-choiceyness and his liberaliness and stuff. But Bruning soon figured the road to political success in this state, at least the part of the state anywhere west of Lincoln's airport where the genetic Republicans breed, was to get all pro-lifey and anti-homoey and stuff. So he did, and won by default the Attorney General's job which is controlled by the Repugs ever since some colored guy Democrat somehow took it over back in the 1990's for a short period of time and got the Republicans in the West all scared he was gonna let all his thug buddies out of jail and come rape their daughters Tomasina Osborne and probably Roberta Devaney too.

Bruning is the guy who once proclaimed he was against gay marriage because the next thing you'd see is some guy "marrying his chair". Yes, that's a quote from this turd burger , but after listening to that idiot speak in the above video, that wouldn't surprise anybody.

Before you ask, yes we do make people of questionable intelligence wear red shirts with an N somewhere on them in this state. The N stands for NUT. That's so you can tell where they are at all times. This state has about a million and a half of these "nuts" walking around at any moment. You see them all over. It's almost like they're proud of being "nuts".

And one more thing about this Bruning nitwit, does anybody find it ironic he compares raccoons and welfare recipients while yapping to a bunch of welfare recipients? Here, they call them "farmers".

I'm Runnin' This Tea Party!

2011-08-05T15:33:00.002-05:00

The classic case of the tail wagging the dog, or perhaps Flounder running the Delta House. Why are the Republicans, most of whom have been in office for years, allowing a small number of first year teabagger economic illiterates tell them what to do? I had hoped that the Boner would grow a pair and put these first year dipshits into a time out room and let them throw their tantrums alone, but he didn't and they now have won, and are drunk with power. Or perhaps drunk period. What else can explain these financial nincompoops and their stupid radio talk show caller views? These are the kind of dimwits who call into the local yokel radio show and complain that if we just cut off all furrin' aid everything would be fine. Or the infamous I gotta manage my budget, why don't Warshington argument that you hear out of that next door dope right before he charges his Disney cruise on the old Discover card.

I have to admit, never in my life have I gotten to the point of hating a group of people more than I have have gotten to hate these tea party jackoffs. They brought the country to the brink of economic collapse to get that black guy out of office. Oh yeah, I went to the race card. But teabaggers have this racism gene so far buried up their ample asses they don't even realize the sight of President Obummer (so funny everytime I hear one of them say this out loud like they just made it up) sends them rushing to wash their sheets even though they aint even dirty. They don't get it. Why I like that Herman Cain fella, they say. Right! Pizza Man has no chance of ever getting close to any kind of office. I like that Alan West. Of course you do, he's insane and the most self loathing black man I've encountered since the last time I heard Wally Williams fill in for the four times married drug addicted child molester on the radio. I forgot that guy's name. Limpblob or something. So stop even denying your disgust that a black man has inhabited the White House. You should LOVE this particular black man, teabaggers. He is so not angry, he makes me angry. The man is so middle of the road he lets himself get run over by total limpwrists like Mitch McConnell. I wish he would become angry black guy. It'd be a welcome.

The dumbest member of Congress, no not Michele Bachmann, at least this week, Steve King of Iowa (whats up with that Iowa??) went onto the floor of the House and railed against free birth control. King, who I seriously think may be mentally challenged said the following, out loud, in public, with TV cameras rolling, with his constituents watching, with his family watching, with fellow retards like Rep Louis Gomert watching, :
"They’ve called it preventative medicine. Preventative medicine. Well if you applied that preventative medicine universally what you end up with is you’ve prevented a generation. Preventing babies from being born is not medicine. That’s not— that’s not constructive to our culture and our civilization. If we let our birth rate get down below replacement rate we’re a dying civilization."

Our culture. Our civilization. You know, shhhhh, white culture. And that is the teabagger mentality. Oh all this bullshit about their kids debts and grandchildrens debt and socialism and Nobama and light bulbs and abortion comes down to one thing. Us whiteys are losing ground. To a teabagger thats unacceptable. King let it out. And King is just too stupid to keep it under wraps. I can hear the teabaggers now shrugging their shoulders and asking, "what's wrong with what King said?" Right before they hopped on the old Medicare bought scooter and headed off to the drag races.

Cubs Win! Cubs Win! About 60 Times A Season!

2011-07-29T16:24:00.003-05:00

I love ball parks. I have books about ball parks. There's nothing like a ball park, an old ball park. You know, the kind of ball park where you have to walk up the cow chute and see the fresh grass when you emerge. That sight is as good as it gets. And that sight is disappearing as these new ball parks spring up.

The cookie cutter ball parks built in the 70's were hideous concrete tombs. Three Rivers, Veterans, Riverfront, Busch, The Metrodome, The Kingdome, Fulton County were all spawns of hell. Shitholes. They destroyed the baseball experience. Oh, they were fine for football since most football fans are closet fascists bent on jailing anybody to the left of Ayn Rand (look it up gridiron guy).

But a couple of places from the past remain. Wrigley Field is one of them. I haven't been to Wrigley Field for a ball game since the early 1990's. Back before the 1984 season it was easy to walk up to the ticket window on gameday, plunk down $5 and sit by the bullpen and chat with the relief pitchers. I once bought Dickie Noles a hot dog while Lee Smith blocked Manager Charlie Fox's view from the Cubs dugout when I gave it to him. There ya go, a good 1983 Cubs reference. Nowadays, it'd cost ya $100 to sit there, and you'd be stuck next to some "young professional" eating sushi and sipping a nice merlot. Fuck that.

We went to Wrigley on Sunday and sat in seats normally reserved for poor people. High up and on the aisle under the overhang out of the sun. Heaven! For $50 each, it oughta be heaven. Oh it was. Old Style Beer, Vienna hot dogs, and baseball in a stadium built in 1914. 23 skidoo this was the bees knees! All we needed was Rudy Vallee shouting Go Cubs Go from a megaphone.

The game, ah who cares. The Cubs won in 10 over the Astros. The two worst teams in baseball duking it out into extra innings at a 97 year old neighborhood baseball park. A yawner to you football folks. The best day ever for us national pasttime people. But it's not the same as when I was younger because the Cubs have become trendy and the ownership couldn't care less if they win or not because 40,000 idiots will show up to see the Astros, a team nobody should want to watch. The place only holds 40,000 so what is the incentive to win? None. No wonder it's been 103 years since that team has won a World Series.

But I have to admit. Wrigley is falling down. The cement is old and cracked. The bathrooms still have troughs. But it's still Wrigley Field, the place my Dad took me in 1964 for my first major league ball game. A moment that hooked me for a lifetime.

Hey, the new ball parks are super. Target Field is the best stadium I've ever been in. The remodeled Kauffman Stadium In KC is wonderful. Our new stadium here in Omaha is phenomenal. Saw Journey there two weeks ago. But nothing will ever ttop Wrigley Field, if for no other reason than it reminds me of the July day in 1964 that Dad took me and my brother to see the Giants. Thanks, Dad.

Hail Mary, Full of Whaaaaaaaaaaa?

2011-07-25T15:36:00.000-05:00

Faith is a very personal thing. It's just that, faith, usually unrewarded but still an important part of human existence. Faith in God, or Jesus, or Allah, or The Chicago Cubs. It's really all a waste of time but come on, who wants to believe in nothing?

Somewhere outside Green Bay lies some out of the way burgh called Champion, Wisconsin or New Franken, Wisconsin or Al Franken, Wisconsin and for some reason, The Virgin Mary decided to appear here back in 1859 to some little girl from Belgium. Well that's the Vatican's story and they're sticking to it.

We visited this little place last weekend. Me for my I'll do anything once attitude and Max's Mom's I'm living with this agnostic idiot and maybe I can save his soul attitude. Pulling into this gravel parking lot at the Our Lady of Good Help, I fully expect my 20/seeing eye dog sight to immediately become 20/15. Unfortunately my faith went unrewarded. But I did find a bathroom off to the side. Small victory.

Just as we went into the small church to check it out, yep, Mass began and I was stuck there for the first time in months. You see, despite my 12 years of Catholic education, I got over it about a month after I got out of it and I only attend Mass when somebody dies, a child gets confirmed, or I really really want to get out of the house for an hour.

I can tell the Catholics are still all hung up on that fetus worship because they mentioned it numerous times. At the end of the Mass, in the true Catholic tradition, they attempted to guide you not to a better life by serving others, but to the gift shop. Chaaaaa ching!

The gift shop, you know, the place where the mother of Jesus took time out of her busy day back in 1859 to scare the shit out of a little Belgian girl, was full of Chinese made statues and cards and books and a pile of anti abortion bumper stickers so high it may have been what Mary ascended back into heaven on.

To the "crypt". This is the place where Mary actually showed up. In the basement of a church? Surrounded by candles and plastic rosaries which can be yours for only a dollar. I lit a candle for both my deceased parents though my Mom may have been screaming at me from the great beyond to not bother. My Dad may have appreciated it, especially if he hasn't been sprung from Purgatory yet. Hey, I'm hedging my bets, folks. It only cost me a couple of bucks. The beer at Titletown and the slot machine at the Oneida casino cost me twenty times that much an hour or two later when in the fine Irish Catholic tradition we went from kneeling and worshipping the Lord to furiously drinking and gambling. Thanks, Mary!

No,as I said, faith is your own personal superstition, errrrrrr, belief. Whatever brings you peace in this world is a-ok with me. I wish I had that blind allegiance to something that makes no sense. Like rooting for the Bears. But Our Lady of Good Help, the only place in North America where Mary visited, other than under a bridge in Chicago or a tortilla in Mexico, is a peaceful enough place. It was quiet and it was interesting to flash back to the 60's and see the old school Catholic women with head covers and ten kids.

Our Lady of Good Help in Champion, Wisconsin. Hey it's cheap entertainment. Thanks for comin', Mary!

Hello, City By The Bay!

2011-07-24T20:08:00.000-05:00

I am so sick of this debt ceiling shit I packed up the Prius and left town to the garden spot of the nation. Green Bay, Wisconsin. Why Green Bay? Don't ask. Hey, its on the way to Chicago if you're directionally challenged.

The family has always wanted to see Green Bay, well at least one of us did. So off we went to Scott Walker's coming hell hole. Wisconsin.

The drive to Green Bay is just about the longest 12 hours you can ever spend for no payoff. Stuck in a Prius (46 MPG yay!!) and in an endless loop of cornfields and windmill farms is really not what Henry Ford had in mind. He was more the Hitler was great guy type. But after 12 hours and about 16 Mountain Dews, we arrived in the city by the bay!

Oh I kid Green Bay. It was a perfectly fine town. In the summer, all two months of it.

For all my doubts about what lay ahead in upper Wisconsin, I gotta say. The people in this city by the bay are the friendliest people I've ever encountered. Gawdam, they make Minnesota Nice look like Satan's workshop. These folks were cheery as all hell. It made me uncomfortable. What exactly ARE they up to???

A trip to Green Bay has to include a tour of that huge stadium on Lombardi Avenue and Oneida that houses the Super Bowl champion Green Bay Packers, otherwise known in Chicago as we found out later, the Green Gay Fudge Packers. Chicago has a lot of class. Green Bay residents would see that and say oh you darn Bears fans, to heck wit all of you and dat is kinda funny.

YOu pay your $19 to see the Packer Hall Of Fame and the tour of the stadium. It was a fun time. I know I'm a Bears fan and I'm supposed to piss on the Lambeau frozen tundra, but it was impossible to hate these people. They were constantly telling you that bullshit story of how the citizens of Green Bay "own" the team and they are just the poor little team down the street with the used equipment and how Packer women have weddings at the stadium and how hard it is to "compete" with Ziggy Wolf and the McCaskeys. You almost forget they WON THE FUCKING SUPER BOWL! I fell for all of it. They take you into the bowels of Lambeau and lead you through the tunnel that the players use to run onto the field complete with fake crowd noise. God this is cheesy. Get it? Haha. You shout Go Pack Go and hear the echos. You see Packer fanatics kissing the field. You see a luxury box (the crappiest seats in the house by the way) and you buy into the whole Packer nonsense. My Dad would have loved every second of it being one of those Packer lunkheads. I hope he was watching.

So there ya go. We wanted to go to the City By The Bay and we did. Just in the wrong direction I guess.

Please Let Me Down, Mister Boner!

2011-07-12T15:57:00.002-05:00

Eric Cantor is a complete fraud. While this nerd is fucking with the nation by pontificating on debt limits and spending cuts and insisting on protecting his corporate and wealthy masters, what is really going is obvious. Eric Cantor is interested in one thing and one thing only. Eric Cantor.

Eric Cantor, aka Millhouse Cantor, wants John Boner's job as Speaker of the House and will do anything, including turning the United States of America into the world's biggest deadbeat dad. What a tool. Now I have no love for the Boner, trust me, but the Boner needs to man up and hang this pencil necked geek from the Capitol flagpole, take him down and present him to some dimwitted constituent as a souvenir. If the Boner doesn't, he deserves to get sand kicked in his red face.

This whole deficit thing is such bullshit. It doesn't take fucking economic whiz kid to figure this out. The humongous deficit began about 10 years ago when after being left a surplus by the Big Dog, President Nitwit proclaimed something about "eh eh eh if there's a surplus, yer payin to much in taxes, eh eh eh" and proceeded to ramrod a huge tax cut through the Republican controlled Congress cutting taxes for everybody. You know, $100 for you, $100 million for me and my friends. That's fair, right? Well it is to the Republicans and their useful idiots, otherwise known as $35K a year Republicans. The deficit grows and grows and grows and jobs grow and grow and grow, in China, Vietnam and anywhere else American "job creators" can get away with slave labor and unregulated squalor.

This policy continues for 10 years and the current band of Kochsuckers, along with a pussy whipped band of Democrats unwilling to stand up to their abusers, want this to continue because its working so well. You have to be a complete imbecile, a complete liar, or a complete self centered opportunist like Millhouse Von Cantor to buy into this economic carnage.

Go ahead Republicans. Bring the hammer down on the United States in your blatant attempt to get that black guy out of your White House. It's not going to happen, the default thing. Only the most rabid of moon bayers would want default and the utter destruction it would bring. Only the most irresponsible oafs would work to ruin an economy the world looks to for guidance. Only the most anti-American traitors would work to give China the #1 spot. But there they are. The 2011 Republican Party. Moon baying irresponsible traitors. Who would have ever thought one skinny black man would cause such self destructive behavior? To paraphrase Samuel L Jackson, I'm sick of these motherfuckin Republicans in my mutherfuckin country!

Breaking Fake News From Fox News!

2011-07-04T16:33:00.003-05:00

Did anybody change the password after Glenn Beck left the building? Did Sean Hannity just tweet normally? Was O'Reilly trying to impress Ann Coulter with his technological expertise? Is Bret Baier gunning for Beck's old slot? Was it Weiner's hackers who broke through the Fox News security? How tough is it to crack the "fuckobama" password everybody uses to tweet at Fox? How many Fox News viewers popped open a PBR when that one came through? Is Andrew Breitbart accounted for and under what barroom table was he found? Is Judge Andrew Napolitano readying a defense for the "shooter" already? Is Jared Loughner really pissed? Did Megyn Kelly and Gretchen Carlson finally lock lips? Has Steve Doocy finished looking up the word "assassinated"?

And finally, Fox News keeps its 100% error rate intact!

I'll Take Marcus Bachmann For The Block!

2011-06-30T17:27:00.003-05:00

How great would it be to have the Fabulous Marcus Bachmann and the batshit crazy Michele Bachmann as our First Couple? Couple of nuts that is. Of course, there is zero chance that either of these whackos will ever get close to the White House, even on a tour, but I secretly hope that Republican voters send this woman and her flamboyant hubbie Marcus right to the stage at their 2012 convention and expect them to beat Barack Nobama. That would be awesome.

I used to think Michele Bachman was batshit crazy. Oh, she is, but I've come to love her batshitiness. She used to be a Democrat back in 1976 when Jimmy Carter was running for President. But high gas prices turned her Republican. That's just batshit nuts. High gas prices? That is the single best reason I have ever heard to switch parties. Because we all know the Republicans and the oil companies are like Charlie Sheen and Chuck Lorre. Right?

Now Marcus Bachmann. There's a piece of work. This fleet bagger, who somehow managed to squeeze $137K of taxpayer Medicaid money to turn the gays straight through Jesus, is an absolute sound alike for the center square on Hollywood Squares, circa 1970 or so. Calling Uncle Arthur. If Marcus ever gets to the White House, Dupont Circle may never be the same without him.

Now the old fishwife, Michele, seemed to go all shy and reserved on Face the Nation last Sunday when Bob Schieffer asked one of those gotcha questions like "is homosexuality a choice?" She bobbed and weaved like Apollo Creed in refusing to answer that lame stream media question. Or perhaps Marcus hadn't answered her text yet.

No, once again, I kid the Bachmanns. They have five kids and have had 23 foster kids, all young females (sorry,Marcus). Though no foster kid has had to endure the Minnesota nice that is the Bachmanns since 1998, the fact she keeps telling everybody about it would make you think there's a houseful of anorexic waifs running around at all times. Nope, its just Marcus and his fish and chips. Keep running, Michele, I'm rooting for you. Can't wait for that daily fuck up. It's a singular sensation!

Dear Carrie's Mom!

2011-06-27T16:37:00.005-05:00

You social conservatives are going to lose. In fact, you have already lost and you just cannot see the forest because you want it logged to oblivion. Oh your tantrums are amusing and you still can generate the faithful to get on their government provided scooters, get in their SUV's, and go off to the voting booths to save the country from the heathens and socialists while still managing time away from Fox News to waddle out to the mailbox to get your Social Security check.

Your ideas about gays and tea parties and taxes and corporations and minorities and Mexicans and serial killers named John Wayne Somethin may be facts in your minds and on your altered Wikipedia pages but they aren't facts at all. A fact is a fact and despite that facts have a liberal bias, facts are truth. And what do they say in your houses of superstition? The truth will set you free? Well, welcome to freedom, teabaggers.

The New York State Senate, run by Republicans, passed a gay marriage bill. No, not one of those gay marriage bills where you get to tell your third wife how immoral homos are ruining the sanctity of your marriage and thus, they can't get marries, have civil unions or even look at each other in a longing way. Nope. Now, in New York, in 30 days or so, anybody in the nation can fly into LaGuardia, get in a cab and run off to get hitched, just like you did after Earlene pissed on that EPT dealie.

Now I know the middle of the country, also known as the middle of nowhere, thinks anything east of Dollywood or west of the Rockies is full of goateed Bolsheviks, but it's also the start of the cultural tsunami that eventually drags you kicking and screaming into the present day. Or at least the present day as it was 30 years earlier. So look out Husker fan, the 2026 football opener against the University of Tijuana may feature you sitting next to Adam and Steve, not Adam & Eve.

I'm not really gloating here, because I know there's still a whole lotta stupid goin' on and the whole magilla may be undone if the under 30's and the rest of us who sat on our asses in 2010 don't get moving. When a dolt like Michele Bachmann or a pea brain like Rick Do Not Google Santorum or an Alaskan moose turd actually gather support from people who can actually vote, it's still a problem. The ones standing on the outside of the Crazy House waiting for permission to enter, like Texas Governor Rick Perry, also have a lot of closet followers. If the fact Perry let an innocent man(google Cameron Todd Willingham)die in a Texas execution chamber isn't enough to send this guy back to his closet, the fact he lives in one should be. But Perry is the new Guy Who isn't Running Savior Of The Day! He's getting his marching orders from the Koch Brothers in Vail right now. This Kochsucker needs to be dealt with NOW.

Anyway, you social conservatives, a polite term for "stooge", can kiss your ideas of heaven on earth goodbye. You are in front of a freight train. better get off the tracks because it's being driven by Jesus. And he aint stoppin'. Adios.

You Can Hardly See Scalia's Mouth Move!

2011-06-22T15:15:00.003-05:00

Back in 1966, Supreme court Justice Abe Fortas accepted a $20,000 a year "retainer" from a shady Wall Street stock speculator named Louis Wolfson, who went to federal prison later for SEC violations. Speculation became that Wolfson was buying influence on the Supreme Court for appeals of his conviction if they went all the way up the ladder to the Supremes. Fortas resigned from the court in 1969 over these allegations.

Ever hear of Harlan Crow? He's a Republican right wing nutjob millionaire. And he's from Texas, which makes the guy about as slimy as they come. And he loves him some Clarence Thomas, Antonin Scalia's ventriloquist dummy. Seems Crow gave Uncle Thomas a Bible worth $19,000 that once belonged to Frederick Douglass, who presumably is attempting to keep from vomiting in the great beyond . Crow also loves him some Ginni Thomas, my fellow Husker graduate who I liked to argue with about what a great man Joe McCarthy was. Guess which side she was on? Crow handed over $500K to Ginni to start Liberty Central, a teabagger group that drools and rolls their eyes whenever they hear the word "Obama". Teabagger, I mean Liberty Central, is all out to repeal the Health Care Act and now can conceivably spend whatever amount of money they want to bombard the airwaves with lies and bullshit thanks to Clarence the Clown and his fellow fascists on the Court who ruled on Citizen's United. Ginni may also be getting lobbying fees to bribe Congesspeople, oh sorry, that's "lobby" Congresspeople to repeal the Health Care act. You see, Ginni hates people who don't have what she has, health insurance and lots of money which she apparently uses to buy substances that take her inhibitions away and force her to drunk dial law professors her husband used to hit on.

Clarence Thomas also apparently forgot that his wife works. Oh yeah, sorry IRS, I forgot to report her Heritage Foundation income. I used that money to take trips to Nebraska to watch a football team and bore the shit out of graduates with commencement speeches. I also recently forgot to report income to the IRS, but I'm an idiot. And I'm not on the fucking Supreme Court. I will gladly resign from all of my political organizations. So long, Liberals Who Live In Nebraska. You now have ummmmm, zero members.

Clarence Thomas is a fraud. He's a silent puppet of Scalia and his wife, who longs for the days of child labor, locking up the homos, and putting up a statue of Tail Gunner Joe McCarthy outside of that commie haven, the United States Senate. Everytime I see a tape of old man Bush stating Thomas is the "best qualified" person to replace Thurgood Marshall, I want to throw GHWB out of an airplane, which he apparebntly likes to jump out of anyway.

My point after this rambling screed is if Abe Fortas had to resign back in '69, this unethical sonovabitch needs to go too.

Clarence Clemons!

2011-06-20T05:28:00.000-05:00

They were never better. Things just won't be the same. Thanks for the memories, Clarence Clemons.

Is This The Debate? Or Is It The Bachelorette?

2011-06-13T16:41:00.004-05:00

Oh boy, it's time for the Republicans to get together in New Hampshire and have some sort of talk or something tonight. A debate in June of 2011 would be pointless and just plain crazy. What? Oh great, The Republicans who have jumped into the race to unseat that Kenyan in the White House will "debate"? Jesus, more like climb all over each other to be on the right side of the TV screen. Let's go over the players.

1) Mittens Romney-- former Governor of Taxachusetts. Was Obama before there was an Obama. Pro-choice. So concerned about the folks without health care he instituted universal health care in Taxachusetts. Belongs to some crazy cult religion that lets you have ten wives and thinks Jesus was born in Tucson or something. What? He hates poor people without health insurance? He hates women who get knocked up? He only has one wife? Jesus, this guy sounds bipolar.

2) Michele Bachmann -- proof there's crazy people in Minnesota too. Nice crazy people but crazy nonetheless. Thinks the Revolution started in New Hampshire. Thinks the Founding Fathers ended slavery. Attended some nutty revival tent with giant hands holding it up posing as a university in Tulsa. Husband Marcus Bachmann is a bit flamboyant if ya get my drift. She is batshit crazy. Is one third of your average conservative guy's dreamy menage a trois'.

3) Newt Gingrich-- is he back from his cruise? Did he dump Calista into the drink?

4) Herman Cain-- Your average conservative's second best black guy, right behind Clarence Thomas. Cain ran Godfather's pizza. He may have delivered them for all I know. Other than that, he yacks on the radio and impersonates Neal Boortz. He used to live in Omaha and moved to Atlanta. I'm not sure if that pisses me off or makes me happy. Cain? Wasnt he the first murderer in that book of fairy tales? Face it, Herm, they ain't voting for you any more than they would vote for Obama. By the way,Herm, where's your fucking birth certificate?

5) Ron Paul-- Half the time he's brilliant, half the time he's nuts. It all depends on when. I think he's brilliant, they will thinks he's crazy. I think he's crazy and the full mooners think he's brilliant. Paul spawned Rand Paul presumably naming him after that selfish bitch Ayn Rand. Hey, Rand, I think she took Medicare. Shhhhh.

6) Tim Pawlenty-- ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ! Republicans can let that bridge collapse when they get to it.

7) Rick Santorum-- please please please DO NOT google "Santorum". Please DO NOT do that. D'ohhhhhhhhhh, you did it. And you think he has a chance in hell???

I have no intention of watching that "debate". Isn't the Bachelorette on? Oh hell, one stupid woman and a bunch of dunderhead men on two channels at once. TV sucks.

Watch Your Back, Broadway Joe!

2011-05-25T16:49:00.002-05:00

For chrissakes, now Paul Splittorf has died of cancer at age 64? I loved watching him pitch back in the 1970's. I wasn't much of a Royals fan, unless they were losing to the Yankees, but I did love seeing this crafty lefthander who wore glasses like me. It made us blind guys think there was hope. Not much, but a little. RIP Splitt! Say hi to Harmon.

The Killer!

2011-05-15T09:36:00.003-05:00

I had two sports heroes as a kid. Only two. One was Joe Willie Namath, a carousing, loud, look at me, heavy drinking playboy (love that 60's word, kids?). The other was a quiet, humble strongman. Harmon Killebrew. I loved, love, Harmon Killebrew. I remember my Dad and Uncle Dick taking me to games at the Met, and whenever the Twins came to Kansas City to play the A's and later the Royals. My only goal was to see Harmon Killebrew hit a home run. It never happened. The best I could come up with was the Killer blasting a Lee Stange fastball off the left field fence at the Met back in 1967 and lumbering into second with a double. Hey, but in retrospect, that was ok. I saw Harmon Killebrew play ball on numerous occasions.

Harmon, the Killer, the Fat Kid, Brew, the guy who I once heard a fan behind me in Kansas City say, "Killebrew's on deck, squeezing his bat into sawdust" announced on Friday he was entering hospice care and giving up any treatment for his esophageal cancer. Goddamn. How can he die? He's only 74. He's the freaking epitome' of what kids should look up to as a sports hero. And he's dying of a horrific disease. Meanwhile, these pricks who make up today's sports leagues carry on with their self indulgent, egomaniacal, shitty behavior and get rewarded for it. Life sucks sometimes. It makes me wonder.

Who doesn't love Harmon Killebrew? I remember arguing with friends about his Hall Of Fame credentials. They thought he was Dave Kingman, I though he was the second coming of Babe Ruth. I won. He got in to the Hall easily. He gave a humbling speech in which he thanked one of his sons, who had gone down a bad path. Who does that? He does.

Two thing caused me to drift from the Minnesota Twins in the 70's and the 80's. One was that Dome as I have said. But the other was my refusal to forgive Cal Griffith for shipping Harmon Killebrew off to Kansas City to play the last year of his career as a DH. I even drove to KC twice that summer to hopefully fulfill my goal of seeing him hit a smashing home run. But The Killer was 40, and slower than ever, and a shell of his former self. He grounded out everytime I saw him hit in that last season in KC as a Royal. Why, Cal? Why would you do that to your greatest player? The Royals were good, you sucked. Would he have really hurt you stagger to a worse than 76-83 record that year? He retired after that season, as a Royal? Good god. That's blasphemy, Cal.

Now we will all say goodbye to Harmon Killebrew. The best Twin ever. In all ways. Maybe the best ball player ever, in some ways. When The Brew gets to wherever it is we go after death, I hope Calvin Griffith says sorry. But knowing Harmon, he would say no need, Cal. You did what you thought best. Harmon is like that.

My Dad had this cancer. It 'aint fun not being able to swallow. It's painful. Hospice is the end. Both of my parents were in hospice before they passed. The saints who work there will make the end comfortable for the Killer. And judging from what I know about this great hero of mine, he will make it comfortable for them. I'm going to go cry now.

What Are You Lookin' At?

2011-05-03T16:10:00.000-05:00

You wanna fuck with this guy? Good luck Republicans.

Birthers Are All Fired!

2011-04-28T16:25:00.002-05:00

Here's what the government provided scooter ridin' pudgepops are thinkin' about that socialist Kenyan colored guy's birth dealie.

Is That Why They Call it Skunkweed?

2011-04-24T23:30:00.001-05:00

Even more "hip" than listening to Arcade Fire is asking who the fuck IS Arcade Fire? Yeah yeah, the Gaga crowd and the Kings of Leon crowd went all bonkers when Arcade Fire won the Grammy for Best Album a couple of months ago, but for some of us, it was perhaps the best Grammy ever.

I first heard of Arcade Fire back in 2004 when I happened upon a video showing a group of youngsters walking through a town playing a guitar, beating on drums, and playing violins. I stuck with the 6 minute video just to see where the hell these people would end up. That was the video for Rebellion, a song from Arcade Fire's first album, Funeral. I loved it. It was unique, quirky, and just weird enough for me to want more.

In September of 2007, after the release of Neon Bible, their 2nd album, Max and Max's Dad drove to Kansas City to see them at the Starlight Theater, a really cool outdoor venue. The place was about half full tnat night. Max was a wee lad of 10 and I was a big lad of 50 or so. I loved it, Max thought it to be too loud. Who's the kid here?

Last Wednesday, fresh off their Grammy win, this Canadian band was back at the Starlight and this time, it was packed with "hipsters", including the 14 year old Max and still 50 or so Max's Dad. Migawd this band is cool. This band is up there with U2 in its devoted fans. You never ever know what you're going to get when the 8 member band gets going. Hey, she's playing the accordion, now she's playing drums, now the pipe organ. He's playing guitar, now he's beating on a snare drum, now he's shouting into a megaphone. She's playing violin, now she's on keyboards, now she's blowing some sort of horn. It is crazy up there. And this old Beatles,Doors,CCR,Who fan loves it.

Arcade Fire is the freshest new band out there. It's such a unique experience to see them. And their fans drink, oh do they drink. And smoke weed. Just ask 14 year old Max. His first pot smell occurred during Read To Start, AF's second song. His reaction? "Will I get high from smelling that?" Only if you're lucky, kid. His second reaction? "If I get drug tested, will I get caught?"...Yeah yeah, Max is a bit uptight, but we love him.

Some Of My Best Friends....!

2011-04-16T23:11:00.002-05:00

No, the Tea Party isn't full of racist jerk offs. No way. The above knee slapping picture was sent by a member of the Orange County, California (shock!) Republican Party SS Committee to her fellow 19th century humor enthusiasts.

I won't mention her name because she's old and stupid and I feel sorry for old, stupid people. Unlike her probable hero, Paul Ryan. More on that shitstain some other time.

Anyway, to reiterate. Teabaggers are not racists. They are just old and stupid.

Trump's Tower Of Babble!

2011-04-11T18:07:00.003-05:00

Donald T Rump is an amusing fellow. At least when I'm watching the Celebrity Apprentice so I can actually believe there is a human being more self absorbed than Sarah Whatshername, he amuses me with his fragile ego and bully boy demeanor. But he's becoming less amusing by the day as he fleeces dumbass teabaggers into becoming even more paranoid and delusional.

Trump is no dummy, though somehow going bankrupt while running casinos and owning Manhattan real estate is making me doubt what I just wrote. But this birther bull he's riding? Why, Donnie boy? What can this possibly get you? You are not running for President. You are not picking on Rosie O'Donnell. You aren't really even firing "celebrities" (who the fuck is NeNe Leakes?).

Year ago I regularly read a magazine called Spy. In it they constantly referred to Trump as a "short fingered vulgarian". The greatest description of a douche nozzle like Trump ever. Because it's true.

Trump is just another carnival barker in a long list of charlatans that "run" for President every four years. He's getting attention from the dildos that make up TV news. He's plugging his little fake business show (I still want one fired "celebrity" to leap the boardroom table and grab that bale of hay off Trump's head). He's feeding his massive ego. And he gets to sit next to Ivanka, the daughter he said he'd be "dating" if she wasn't his daughter. Right up the birther crowd's alley.

President Obama is a smart man. Just let tiny mouthed narcissists like Trump keep talking. It only helps the re-election train pick up speed. I disagree with Bill Cosby who told Trump to shut up. Keep flapping those non existent lips, Mr.Trump. It only helps the President. His re-election margin is going to be "YOUUUUUUUU-GE".

Words are worse than Sticks and Stones

2011-03-31T16:37:00.000-05:00

On Wisconsin!

2011-03-10T15:47:00.002-06:00

No, that's not a picture of New York assclown Peter King living his fantasy of beating up brown people while simultaneously giving pasty,red headed Irish "freedom fighters" a hand job. Nope, it's Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker's exempt union thugs beating up other non exempt union thugs.

No collective bargaining in Wisky? The State legislature of that binge drinking cheese addicted state has finally done it. Given the Koch Brothers a Cialis fueled four hour stiffy. I hope they both drown in their respective bathtubs.

This is the first shot fired in the war on working people. Scott Walker is the Gavro Princip of this war. Let's just hope that the working people of this nation, including those useful idiots of Teabag Nation, wake up before it's too late. If not, this country will simply be another economic shithole between Canada and Mexico.

Keep fighting, Badgerland. Oh sure, take a day off next Thursday to drink green beer, the cheap stuff of course, but be back on Friday to get rid of these Koch whores in the legislature. We are all counting on you.

And Another Thing, John McCain Is Old!

2011-03-08T16:30:00.002-06:00

Oh my, that crazy dildo enthusiast, James O'Keefe, is at it again. Getting two of his bitches to pose as Muslims, presumably with fake beards and Ali Baba shoes, and secretly taping FORMER NPR fund raising poobah, Ron Schiller, saying really horrible things about teabaggers. Like they're xenophobes, and racists, and Christian fundies, and gun nuts, and uneducated. Schiller also praised NPR for terminating Fox News' house boy, Juan Williams last year. O'Keefe's errand clerks also ranted about Jews controlling the media, presumably to impersonate a teabagger, and offered Sciller, a FORMER NPR fund raiser, a $5 million dollar "donation". Showing more than enough integrity, Schiller said no thanks.

Wow. Some guy who USED to work at NPR spouts off fair and balanced opinions that nobody can deny and now NPR is being attacked again by a self loather like Eric Cantor? Christ, O'Keefe, what next? Are you going to secretly tape a bear crapping in the woods? Or how about The Pope saying a Mass? Or Charlie Sheen snorting blow?

And you, NPR, stating how shocked you are at the fact some former employee thinks teabaggers are racist, dumb, and religious fanatics? I am going to have my brother erase his Carl Kassel voice mail message in protest!

The Real Housewives Of Orange County!

2011-03-03T16:06:00.003-06:00

I think I'd rather to listen to that harpie from Alaska or that nasally Laura Ingraham or Michele Bachmann for that matter than these shrill scumbags. The make the Westboro Baptist Church sound like Mozart. I think Ronald Reagan was screaming "SHUT UP!!!" from his crypt.

All I can say is Wow!

Please Save Us From Ourselves, Ernie!

2011-03-02T15:26:00.006-06:00

On the top of the Nebraska State Capitol building, a big tall phallic like building affectionately known as the Penis of the Plains, is a statue called The Sower. The Sower is spreading his seeds presumably in a way they use to do in the 1800's, otherwise known as ten years ago here in Nebraska.

Inside this building the body of nitwits known as the Nebraska Unicameral resides for either 60 days a year or 90 days a year, depending on odd or even years or just because they like to make even bigger morons of themselves every other year. Oh yeah, our wonderful Unicameral is so unique. 49 "Senators" introduce stupid bill after stupid bill without any fear that another legislative body will wise up and kill it. Nope, way back in the 1930's, known as 5 years ago here in Nebraska, my ancestors decided to save some money and go to a one house legislature. Voila! We are so unique, and cheap. Until a few years ago, these rubes made about $4800 a year and then got a huge raise to $12,000 a year. Well as they say "you get what you pay for". I wish we got $12,000 worth out of the whole lot of them.

This body of dopes consists of 36 Republicans (though "officially" non partisan) and 13 Democrats. So as you can see, combine that with a gutless, teabagger Republican Governor and you have GOP heaven. Years ago, the most hated man in Nebraska, a black man named Ernie Chambers, dominated this body of hicks. He knew procedures backwards and forwards, knew how to kill any bill, knew how to add amendments to stupid bills until it died from lack of time (once he added an amendment to a bill authorizing payment to an official "Unicameral chaplain" that would have paid the guy 30 pieces of silver). Senator Chambers so pissed off rural Nebraskans for 30 some years they passed a law limiting Senators to two terms just to get rid of him. Then he left (though he's threatening a return next year) and the clowns took over the circus.

This clown pictured above is State Senator Mark Christensen of Imperial, Nebraska(though what the manager from Major League is doing in the background is beyond me). Don't look on a map, you'd never find it but its way down in the southwestern corner near McCook, hometown of one Earl Benjamin Nelson, distinguished "Democratic" U.S.Senator from Nebraska. So you know there's something in the water down there.

Mark Christensen is our version of Michelle Bachmann. Or Steve King. This guy has introduced bills into the legislature to arm teachers and/or students, force candidates to prove their citizenship (yep he's a birther) and to prevent Nebraska judges from basing opinions on foreign law, his version of those anti-Sharia amendments dumb rednecks like to pass. I'm looking at you Oklahoma!

But now, State Senator Mark Christensen, an alleged "Christian", has copied South Dakota and rammed through a kill your abortion provider anget out of jail free bill. The "law",LB232, which would allow people to kill to protect unborn fetuses is just another version of that South Dakota nonsense that got shelved the other day. Christensen, of course, claims it's not intended to justify any murder of any abortion provider, but you know how many times this proposed "law" would have been used had it been in effect in the last, oh I don't know, 40 years? Zero. So you can see how important it is.

The deputy Omaha Police Chief testified against it. The Chairman of the Judiciary Committee said it would lead to "firefights" at clinics. Personally, if a pregnant woman needs to defend herself from an assault, and kills the attacker, isn't that self defense? Isn't that covered now? Christ, we have laws in this state that allow you to shoot a kid for walking across your lawn. Why is this needed?

Oh yeah, the Catholics want it. And the born agains. And of course, men who love to tell women what to do.

And guys who take the first six letters of their last name way too seriously. Right, Mark?

I'm A Huffin' And I'm A Puffin' !

2011-02-27T16:13:00.000-06:00

Yeah we got some big old buildings here in Omaha. That one (the First National Bank Tower) is a whole 40 stories high and the Steve King voters from across the river in Iowa like to come over and look up at it thinking Jesus himself may be sittin' up there sometime.

Anyway, Max's Dad climbed the steps of that damn thing in 12:02 Saturday morning. So what you say? Well a year ago Max's Dad was a fat, slow, immovable white guy and couldn't have ridden the elevator to the top without stopping on 20 for a breather. Now, Max's Dad is an overweight, slow, movable white guy who can climb 864 steps or whatever the ungodly number is without dropping dead.

When you get to the top, 633 feet up towards heaven, you can look down and flip the Steve King voters off. That's what Jesus would do. Onward!

Cairo, Tripoli, Madison?

2011-02-25T16:22:00.003-06:00

Ever since I was a little kid in Catholic School and saw how hard my parents worked, how smart they were, and how they never seemed to quite get to where they wanted to be, I listened to the American Dream propaganda and thought it was a giant load of crap. And of course, it IS a load of crap. And it gets stinkier by the day.

All over the country, scared, fearful, ignorant people are freaking out and looking for somebody to blame for their woes. Oh, it can't be the fact the "american dream" is bollocks, it has to be somebody's fault that I'm still driving the 10 year old car and haven't had a raise in 5 years. It can't be Wall Street's fault. Those white guys and gals in $5000 suits are too big to blame. The Republicans (and some Democrats) in Congress who suck the Wall Street ass are not to blame. They're looking out for me. By giving those Wall Street folks more and more money, they might let me have some of it and give me a better job (keep dreaming there bub unless you are willing to move to China). No it has to be the Mexicans, no no the gays, no no I got it, it's unions. Unions! That's who to blame. Government leeches taking my tax money and doing nothing in return but giving me a hard time at the DMV. Greedy teachers teaching my kids all that liberal claptrap like math and english and science and reading. That's the boogie man of the hour, the union employees.

Now of course it's 100% bullshit that the unions have caused the entire budget shortfall in Wisconsin or anywhere else for that matter. It's convenience and a Republican opportunity to bust unions and further their agenda of turning the United States into a plutocracy. The amazing part is that a growing number of dolts are falling for it. Look at the 2010 election. Teabagger freaks have taken control because many of us normal people (and by that I mean those of us who don't need a government paid for scooter to haul our fat asses around in) didn't vote. When you don't vote, you lose. And these nuts take over. The nuts are funded by some very wealthy benefactors (Koch anyone?) whose mission is to destroy the middle class and grab all the money for themselves. Their minions, the teabaggers, can be called Koch whores from now on. Scott Walker, the deer in the headlights Governor of Cheeseland, is a Koch whore, proven by his falling for a prank phone call from one of the "Koch" Bros.

I am not going to get into specifics on budget deficits here. But public unions are not to blame. Oh, they're not blameless, but they are not the horrible evil the Republicans are brainwashing the Koch whores to believe. Christ, Texas doesn't even have any government unions, doesn't allow collective bargaining and they have a budget shortfall that would choke a $60 million Texas high school football stadium booster. So stop with the garbage about unions being Freddie Krueger. The union pension funds, while generous as hell, were raped just like you and me by those pricks on Wall Street. Pure and simple.

So stop looking down on your neighbor as the cause of all your troubles. Start looking up at the real problem. Those financial rapists and their blowhard talkers on the radio. You'd be surprised at how easy it is to blame the real culprits. And if the Middle East is any indication, how easy it would be to get rid of them.

2016 Anyone?

2011-02-13T10:24:00.003-06:00

Congratulations to President Barack Obama for winning the 2012 presidential election.

The wingnuts have spoken. I haven't seen a duller list of kooks since I last looked at the roster of the Nebraska legislature sans Ernie Chambers.

STUPOR BOWL 45!

2011-02-06T17:20:00.002-06:00

Which one of these idiots do I root for? One hails from a city so frozen over they wear cheese on their head to keep their 70 IQ's intact and they actually believe they own their team.

The other hails from a city of meathead ex-steel workers who think The Deer Hunter portrays them in a positive way. Fat, drunk and stupid with a groping QB for a hero.

Hmmm...whom to root for? Well, at least the Packers aren't Rush Limbaugh's favorite team.

GO PACK GO!

Brilliant Cartoon!

2011-02-04T16:19:00.000-06:00

Pat Oliphant is a genius.

Is Fox News Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?

2011-01-31T16:43:00.002-06:00

No wonder Bush and company couldn't find any WMD's. They were looking in Egypt.

Once again, facts have a liberal bias.

I Wish I Lived In Wisconsin!

2011-01-28T15:44:00.002-06:00

What is your state the absolute worst at? I guess when all those scummy Republican politicians tell me about "Nebraska Values", they mean killing a lot of women. Yeah, Nebraska! Way to go! Go Big Red!

Worst Cable Company In The World!

2011-01-22T13:11:00.002-06:00

As anybody with any intellectual curiosity (that leaves you Fox folks out) knows, Comcast has begun its reign of error in running MSNBC and subsequently, NBC, into the earth's core, ratings wise, by firing Keith Olbermann. Yeah yeah, he resigned and got a whole lot of money to go away, but he got shitcanned because he's too goddamned truthful. Like Phil Donahue before him, another parade pisser, Olbermann was the highest rated show on that prison documentary dominated network and the big shots at Comcast didn't like it. Donahue got shown the door by the cowards at MSNBC for questioning that Iraq war deal and now Olbermann is on the street for questioning the whackjobs making all that noise in rural America.

Oh I know Keith is a complete pain in the ass. I really wouldn't want to be anywhere around him when he throws one of his fits. But that's just personal stuff. I watched him because he told me things the milquetoasts on network news won't. He was the counterbalance to the liars at Fox, and he wasn't afraid of anybody. He raised millions for the downtrodden and gave hell to the comfortable. The exact opposite of what bullies like O'Reilly, drug addled gasbags like Limbaugh, copycats like Hannity, mental cases like Beck, and nasty excuses for human beings like Ingraham do on a daily basis. I am going to miss him.

Let's hope somebody picks him up as soon as his ban from TV ends. I can't watch a dullard like Lawrence O'Donnell , a really nice, too nice, policy wonk like Rachel Maddow, or a populist barroom loudmouth like Ed Schultz tell me anything. Sorry, not my cup of tea.

I guess with all this talk of civility after the Tucson shootings, I just don't want that. I am sick of the mainstream media's false equivalency of Fox News and Keith Olbermann. They aren't the same. Fox lies and Olbermann didn't. If calling Fox on it's bollocks means civility is dead, well then have a nice wake.

I Dare You!

2011-01-18T16:14:00.002-06:00

Damn, The Captain and Tenille sure got old.

Does Anybody Know The Words To Paranoid?

2011-01-17T16:15:00.003-06:00

I've been going to concerts since 1973 when I tagged along with buddies to go to the Pershing Auditorium in Lincoln, Nebraska to see Deep Purple. But I've never seen the self proclaimed Prince of Darkness. Until last night. Oh Lord In Heaven, thank you for inventing Ozzy Osbourne and busting the mold.

Max and Max's Dad trudged off to see the 62 year old legend continue his Scream tour. I had no idea what to expect. The doddering old wastoid hollering for Sharon, or the fucking Prince of Darkness. What you get is both. Ozzy staggers around stage like a demented, arthritic codger. But then you realize from old videos from 30 years ago, Ozzy staggered around stage like a demented, arthritic codger when he was 30. So not much has changed. Ozzy is Ozzy. He is a riot.

Headbanging 50 plus year olds (I plead guilty) throwing the devil horns in the air as Ozzy drops F bombs in nearly every sentence and cranks out the classics like Bark At The Moon, I Don't Know and my personal fave, Mister Crowwwwwwwwwwwwwwley were all in attendance as well as 14 year olds trainees like Max. God, was this good stuff.

When Ozzy started hosing down the front rows with white foam from a fire hose I couldn't stop thinking this guy is nuts and loving every second of it. He did this 3 or 4 times always ending by shooting white foam in his own face and hair. Then some guy whose job it is to wipe off the teleprompter would slither out and make sure Ozzy could remember the words and where the hell he was.

Slash opened the show playing his solo stuff and throwing in some GNR. Now I hate GNR with a passion, but after Slash's set I am now convinced Slash just needs to stop hanging out with whack job lead singers like Ax'l & Scott Weiland. He was great also.

Ozzy is a national, no, a world treasure. He is one of a kind. The rest are mere serfs to The Prince. Long may you live, Ozzy.

Paging Travis Bickle!

2011-01-15T17:24:00.002-06:00

In no way am I implying Glenn Beck stoked the fire to cause Laughner the psycho to shoot Rep. Giffords. In no way am I implying Glenn Beck looks like Laughner the psycho. In no way am I implying the grins are those of the mentally ill. In no way am I implying Glenn Beck is as crazy as Laughner the psycho. In no way am I implying Jared Laughner looks like Glenn Beck. In no way am I implying that being fascinated with gold leads one to do terrible things. In no way am I implying the incoherence of Beck and Laughner is similar.

No way!

May I Have 10,000 Marbles, Please?

2011-01-12T16:16:00.003-06:00

Ok, one question. Even at Wal Mart, if THIS walked up to you and tried to buy extended magazine clips, would you sell them to him? That's not even gun control, it's common sense.

Jesus H Christ, I'm sick of people and their fucking guns.

Last week we had a disgruntled 16 year old kid walk into a high school here in Omaha, kill his vice principal and severely wound his principal and then blow his own head off. He got the gun from his police detective father.

A 61 year old man just last night called 911 to report a shooting. His own. He'd shot himself cleaning his gun. He's dead now.

Just today some bimbo from Alaska shot her big mouth off again.

Daniel, Do Be A Hero!

2011-01-10T16:01:00.003-06:00

You're a hero, Daniel Hernandez. Trust me, there are very few people I consider heroes in this world. In fact most "heroes" to me are borderline psychotics. But Daniel Hernandez, a 20 year old intern in his fifth day of internning with Rep. Gabby Giffords., did what most of us would never do (except for all those tough guys posting they'd have blown away that commie pothead Laughner with their great big concealed weapon). According to the Arizona Republic,

"Hernandez, a member of the City of Tucson Commission on Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Issues, applied pressure to Giffords’ entry wound to stop her bleeding after checking the life signs of other victims of the shooting in Tuscon.
“First the neck, then the wrist,” he told the Republic. “I don’t even know if the gunfire had stopped.”
Hernandez said he made sure Giffords breathed property by holding her head in his lap before he taught a bystander how to use the same technique on the wounds of his boss, Ron Barber."

Without regard for his own safety, Daniel, a gay, brown, anchor baby rushed to his boss' side and saved her life. Gay, brown and anchor baby? Sarah Palin and her fans would deport this guy in a split second if given the chance. Now if he was only Islamic, the whole teabagger movement would drop like red winged blackbirds over Arkansas.

But anyway, let's hear it for Daniel Hernandez, a real hero.

WTF?

2011-01-08T13:54:00.002-06:00

Guess you got your wish, Sarah Palin. Now fuck off.

Movies That Rocked!

2011-01-06T17:20:00.007-06:00

It's Top 10 Movies of 2010 Time. We went on a movie going spree the week after Xmas and saw some good ones. Nonetheless, here's the Best 10 I saw during the past year.

10)Shutter Island
Scorcese hits another triple with this Hitchcock type thriller. Taking place in an insane asylum in the 50's the film keeps you in suspense from beginning to end.

9) City Island
Where did this little comedy about a New Yawk family come from? Andy Garcia and Julianne Margulies star as heads of a crazy Italian family. Watch it. It'll make you laugh. Trust me.

8) The Tillman Story, Inside Job & Waiting For Superman
all three of these documentaries point out flaws in the American system. The Tillman Story shows you how the military lies, the politicians lie and young people are used as cannon fodder. Inside Job will show you how Wall Street stole your money and will continue to do so in the future. It will infuriate you. Waiting For Superman shows you how the school system is effed up. Waiting to see how the kids in the movie fare during a lottery to get into better schools is gut wrenching.

7) Toy Story 3
a sequel? an animated kids movie? Yep. It is wonderful. Tackling issues from death and aging to mortal danger and the inevitability of moving forward, Pixar has hit another one out of the park.

6) Winter's Bone
another independent movie made for about 50 bucks or so. A young girl keeps her family together in the middle of Meth County Missouri. Normally an actess like Jennifer Lawrence would take the movie world by storm by making you ask "where has she been?". She's great. Unfortunately for her, there's another young actress in a different movie who steals the year.

5) True Grit
Jeff Bridges, Matt Damon, Josh Brolin, Barry Pepper and the Coen Brothers is impressive enough. But this kid, Hallie Steinfeld, who plays the young woman who is looking for the killer of her father steals this movie from the minute she graces the screen. This movie is breathtaking to look at and a vast improvement on the 1969 version.

4) The Fighter
Yeah it's an old story done well in Rocky, Cinderella Man, and numerous other boxing films over the years. The underdog fighting his way up the ladder. But the acting in this movie by Christian Bale, Melissa Leo and even Mark Wahlberg and Amy Adams just gives you a lesson on how to do it. I love this flick. And I want to see its actors onstage at the Oscars. Winning.

3) The King's Speech
Sound boring? The King of England overcoming a stammer to lead his country into World War II. Well, it's not boring, in fact, it's inspiring. Colin Firth, who was in my favorite movie in 2009 (A Single Man) is probably a shoo in for an Oscar.

2) The Social Network
when I first saw the trailer for this last summer, I could not believe a movie about something as insipid as Facebook could be any good. Well, David Fincher and Aaron Sorkin did make it good. Great, in fact. This is storytelling at its best. I'd see this 10 times and never get bored.

1) Inception
I could see this Christopher Nolan directed masterpiece 10 times and still not know what exactly was going on. It's come into vogue to criticize this confusing dream inspired mystery for a lot of things but making you think isn't one of the criticisms. There are very few movies I still think about 6 months after I saw it but this is one. It's the only movie of 2010 I still can't stop thinking about. What's it about? Ya got me. But right now, I'm positive Leonardo DiCaprio dreamed the whole damn thing. Tomorrow, I will change my mind and say he's stuck in limbo. Damn you, Chris Nolan!

There were other good movies in 2010. The Book of Eli, Get Low, Ghost Writer, Date Night, Harry Brown, Salt, Unstoppable,127 Hours, The Town, Secretariat, Nowhere Boy, Fair Game, The Other Guys all were enjoyable.

Now about Black Swan? It's getting a lot of praise and is on most Top 10 lists. That one made me think too. How overrated it is.

The worst movie I saw all year? The Runaways ran away with that. Jesus, I couldn't get through half of this turd before I ran away.

It's About Effin Time!

2011-01-05T16:23:00.002-06:00

Congratulations to Bert Blyleven! Finally, he goes where he belongs. The Baseball Hall Of Fame!..........zn. gelukwens

Gee, Thanks Gore Vidal!

2011-01-01T10:12:00.002-06:00

Oh there's plenty of crazies out there to win Wingnut Of The Year. Christine O'Donnell, Steve King, Ginni Thomas, Sharon Angle, Carl Paladino, but old reliable Michele Bachmann closes fast to take it at the wire. Why? Because I forgot about all those other kooks until the batshit crazy one opened her mouth on Tuesday night in front of that Michigan Republican bund meeting and described why oh why she became a Republican. Bachmann exclaimed, "Until I was reading this snotty novel called 'Burr,' by Gore Vidal, and read how he mocked our Founding Fathers. And as a reasonable, decent, fair-minded person who happened to be a Democrat, I thought, 'You know what? What he's writing about, this mocking of people that I revere, and the country that I love, and that I WOULD LAY MY LIFE DOWN to defend -- just like every one of you in this room would, and as MANY OF YOU IN THIS ROOM HAVE have when you wore the uniform of this great country -- I knew that that was not representative of my country.
And at that point I put the book down and I laughed. I was riding a train. I looked out the window and I said, 'You know what? I think I must be a Republican. I don't think I'm a Democrat.'

Well thank you, Gore Vidal. Who wants somebody in their party who thinks she's talking to dead people? The woman is stupid. Proof positive listed above.

What did Al Franken say about love of country? Liberals love their country as adults love their parents. Conservatives love their country like 4 year olds love their parents. It's one of the smartest things I've ever read. It's hard to believe Bachmann and Al represent the same state.

Happy New Year everybody!

Rock Chalk Jaywalk?

2010-12-30T22:59:00.004-06:00

I've been to historic sports venues before. Wrigley, uhhhhhhhh, The Metrodome? Ok, I've been to some real stadiums and arenas, many of which I would consider dumps that others worship. Wrigley, uhhhh, the Metrodome.

I went to Allen Fieldhouse in Lawrence, Kansas with Max on Wednesday night for the first time to see Kansas hammer an unarmed opponent. It really wasn't Kansas I went to see, but the building. It lived up to its billing just like most historic stadiums and arenas. It was a pit. But so what? They love their Jayhawks and isn't that what counts? Unfortunately yes.

Standing in line for a chance at a seat 2 1/2 hours prior to gametime. Getting in and rushing to get a first come first served seat. What could be better? Well actually having a seat maybe and not having to stand in line for an hour but that's nitpicking. Hey, I'm used to the Devaney Center (aka The Library) in Lincoln watching a lousy basketball team play in front of hundreds of sleepy fans and losing. This was different. There were banners hanging from the rafters crowing about 5 national championships, numerous Final Fours, and too many to count league titles. Hell, in Lincoln the building is sagging from all the NIT banners.

There were 16,000 nuts in the Fieldhouse an hour before gametime. Chanting crazy chants and singing Bon Jovi tunes with the alumni pep band. Cheering the lowliest player leaving the court. Screaming their love for Coach Bill Self. These people are akin to Nebraska football fans. Totally in love with a college team. And I hate them. Just as I hate Nebraska fans. 50 year old humans basing their self esteem on how a 19 year old kid plays a game is just sad. Hey, it's great to be a fan. It's another thing to really really care. I guess I just don't care that much anymore about any sports team. My heart's been stomped on by the Huskers, the Bears, the Twins, and anybody the Yankees or Cowboys beat. But I move on. Trust me, The Republicans do more damage to me on a daily basis than any sports team ever has.

So it was great to see the old Allen Fieldhouse. It was fun to watch a great college basketball team do its thing. It wasn't so much fun watching grown people getting so pissed off at a foul when they were winning by 12. It never is.

Bring Your Papers, Bristol!

2010-12-27T18:20:00.005-06:00

Bristol Palin, fresh off the teabagger fueled 3rd place finish on some show where Z list "celebrities" dance and bored couch dwellers vote on who was the least worst, has paid cash (just like all real 'Mericans) for a 5 bedroom house in the Phoenix area so her and Tripper or Trigger or Trapper or whatever she named Sarah's photo op grandbastard can live in the antithesis of her beloved Alaska.

Rumor has it that Bristol wishes to go to college and the lucky college is that G.E.D. factory, Arizona State. The place that refused to bestow an honorary degree on the President of the United States because he "lacked accomplishment" but freely admits an Alaskan harpy? Oh man, I can't wait for the leaked online videos of the parties at the Bristol house when about 50 Sun Devil frat boys show their lovin' to the passed out Alaskan. I had no idea that ASU had a cosmetology program. Oh, and if ASU reconsiders admitting her, there's always the University of Phoenix. But Bristol dear, you didn't have to move there to establish residency if it's the U of P you want to attend. It's an online degree factory.

Great, another reason to root against those yellow pukes when they come to the College World Series every June.

Merry Christmas, The Twitter Was Full?

2010-12-25T17:14:00.002-06:00

Merry Christmas to all courtesy of the funniest Christmas movie of all time, other than the Godfather of course. Randy Quaid has gone more batshit crazy than Cousin Eddie ever thought of being. Hope ya get better, Randy.

Happy Birthday Max!

2010-12-24T14:42:00.001-06:00

Happy 14th Birthday to Max. Just as big a rabble rouser as Max's Dad. We done good.

How's Your Health,Senator?

2010-12-20T16:37:00.003-06:00

The DADT got the old heave ho on Saturday, thanks to Nancy Pelosi, the Senate Democrats and a few honest Republicans in the Senate. This antiquated rule that you cannot be who you are and serve your nation was about 17 years too late in being shitcanned. Oh I know that in 1993, the cowards and the religiously insane still ruled the roost and this stupid policy was the best that could be achieved but in retrospect, it looks a lot like the Dred Scott decision. Good riddance.

You know let's look at the roster of dishonest panderers, delusional snake handlers and just plain bigots in the U.S. Senate who voted to keep this dumbass policy intact.

1) Lamar Alexander (R-Tn) age 70. You'd think being a former Secretary of Education he'd have learned something. But then again it was under Bush 41. So he's a dope.

2) John Barrasso (R-Wy) age 58. He's a sawbones but he's from Wyoming where Matthew Shephard was considered a suicide. Hes a dope.

3) Bob Bennett (R-Ut) age 77. He's obviously religiously insane. He got beat by a teabagger, is leaving the Senate, and didn't have the balls to do the right thing. He's a cowardly dope.

4)Kit Bond (R-Mo) age 71. He's blind in one eye. Not to mention morally blind. He's a half blind dope.

5) Sam Brownback (R-Ks) age 54. He may be only 54, but he's 84 inside his head. He's a nutty dope.

6) Saxby Chambliss (R-Ga) age 67. He likes to hire people who post "all faggots must die" on message boards. So he's just a sick fuck. And he's a dope.

7) Tom Coburn (R-Ok) age 62. Did you know Oklahoma is the only state with a dumber Senator than Tom Coburn? This nitwit wanted to censor Schindler's List because there were some naked Jews in it. Being murdered. He's a moronic dope.

8) Thad Cochran (R-Ms) age 73. Not really sure about this guy. He's moderate by wingnut terms but he is 73. And he's a dope.

9) Bob Corker (R-Tn) age 58.Should a guy named "Bob Corker" really be voting this way? He's one of those for sale politicians who changes his views depending on the wind direction. He's a cynical dope.

10) John Cornyn (R-Tx) age 58. He's from Texas and he's equated same sex marriage with some guy marrying a box turtle. C'mon John, Mitch McConnell IS a box turtle and he's married. Cornyn's a dope.

11) Mike Crapo (R-Id). age 59. He says it's pronounced "Cray-po" but I'm not so sure.He's a who IS he dope.

12) Jim DeMint (R-SC) age 59. This belly crawler openly says gays shouldn't be allowed to teach and either should women who let their knickers down. He's a retard.

13) Mike Enzi (R-Wy) age 66. One of those types who leaps over a dead body to take his job. Enzi won election after his predecessor died in office. He's a ghoulish dope.

14) Lindsay Graham (R-SC) age 55. This guy's deeper in the closet than a Chilean miner. Self loathing AND a coward. He's a tiny little dope.

15) Chuck Grassley (R-Ia) age 77. In a former life I actually interviewed this guy. He seemed like a nice man. Guess I was wrong. He's a sneaky dope.

16) Kay Bailey Hutchison (R-Tx) age 67. Big hair and all, she lacked the courage to do the right thing even though she's leaving the Senate. She's a texas sized dope.

17) Jim Inhofe (R-Ok) age 76. I'm surprised this guy hasn't sucked all the dumb out of the Senate by himself. Hes a fucking dope.

18) Johnny Isakson (R-Ga) age 66. Another wind changing soulless empty suit. He's a windmill looking dope.

19) Mike Johanns (R-Ne) age 60. He's such a dullard I can't even write anything bad about him. So perfect for Nebraska. He's a dishrag dope.

20) Jon Kyl (R-Az) age 68. He wants everybody to die in a nuclear war anyway so why the hell does he care if gay folks are in the military? He's a sunburned dope.

21) George Lemieux (R-Fl) age 41. He was chief of staff (hoo boy) to Florida Governor Charlie H Crist. So his vote makes no sense whatsoever. He's an enabling dope.

22) Richard Lugar (R-In) age 78. He seems a reasonable sort. Must have been the fact he's 78. He's an old dope.

23) John McCain (R-Az) age 74. Thank god this nut lost in '08. No man has destroyed his reputation more than this guy. He's a self flagellating dope.

24) Mitch McConnell (R-Ky) age 68. I'm not really sure how this mumbling turtle voted. He sounds like Foghorn Leghorn after a debilitating stroke. He's a down low dope.

25) Jim Risch (R-Id) age 67. He followed Larry Craig into the Senate. Not the first time I'm sure. He's a who the hell is he dope.

26) Pat Roberts (R-Ks) age 74. He's about two letters shy of being Pat Robertson. And about two IQ points shy of being an imbecile. He's a bald dope.

27) Jefferson Sessions (R-Al) age 64. This guy's middle name is actually "Beauregard". Jefferson Beauregard Sessions the Third, boy. This neck has an actual 0% voting record on gay rights from the Human Rights Watch. He's a hateful dope.

28) Richard Shelby (R-Al) age 76. Compared to Sessions, your average Alabama rube must think he's some kinda lib. He's not. He's a turncoat dope.

29) John Thune (R-SD) age 49. He's running for President. To keep the teabagging fossils in his sights he must vote this way. He's 49 going on 99. He's an opportunist dope.

30) David Vitter (R-La) age 49. If it was letting hookers into the military, well now that'd be right up Vitter's alley, so to speak. He's a diaper wearing dope.

31) Roger Wicker (R-Ms) age 59. He said the Democrats were "willing to spill innocent soldiers blood" to repeal DADT. I wonder how he felt about "innocent soldiers" when he voted to send them to Iraq? He's a hypocritical dope.

There you go. Those 31 jerkoffs are akin to the neanderthals who voted against Civil Right Acts years ago. What's the common theme? The average age of these old white men and one woman is 64. Most of them are on their way out. Their successors will be younger and won't give a shit about how someone was born. These cro-magnons can't get off my planet fast enough.

Good Grief!

2010-12-10T09:16:00.004-06:00

When's Obama going to stop fucking around with these people? These people, these Republicans in the Congress need to be dealt with. If he's not going to be the one to do it, well then goddamnit, get somebody who will. Fast.

When these Republican clowns take over the House in January, it's over. Unless Nancy Pelosi, with more political knowledge than the Boner ever thought of having decides to jam up the system. Christ, what am I thinking? The Republicans already have control of the Congress with their Jim Jones like cult following of a Kentucky closet case with a mumbling problem and the pussy Democrats afraid of their own shadow.

DADT failed last night, the result of more Republican bullshit and the cowardice of a Democrat from West Virginia. Yeah, the repeal of this bigoted policy got 57 votes and still failed to pass. Even Joe Lieberman got on board this time. But in today's Republican controlled Senate, that's not enough. Bigots like John McCain, Mike Johanns, Chuck Grassley, John Thune, and every Republican hayseed from south of the Mason-Dixon line are ecstatic. The Southern confederacy of Republican rubes is longing for the days of the 1960's, when if they hadn't had LBJ kicking their asses all over DC, they could have stalled Civil Rights legislation and kept them pesky negroes from voting and stopped that Kenyan Marxist from winning the Presidency. These people make me want to throw up my grits.

Obama has already proved his worth as a human being by "compromising" and allowing the rich puppet masters to have their tax cut continue (by the way if these "job creators" have been tax cutted for 10 years how come 750,000 jobs a month were going bye bye? Oh I see, the jobs were "created" in China). He was not willing to hurt the unemployed at the expense of calling the Republican bluff. But proving your worth as a human being isn't that hard when you're competing with soulless snakes. Bt I give him his due.

I'm rambling because I'm angry. Angry at Texas legislators wanting to replace Jews in the leadership poisitions of that distinguished body of morons. I'm angry at spineless weasels like Scott Brown for caving to Mitch "Yertle the Turtle" McCloset uhhh McConnell. I'm angry that cretins like Christine O'Donnell get book deals and express no sympathy whatsoever with the downtrodden, calling them "entitled". I'm angry that Twitter even exists do maniacs like John Bolton can call Obama scarier than terrorists. I'm angry some scrub Baltimore Oriole proves again that baseball players rival hockey players for dumbest athletes by expressing his birther views about "the birth certificate". And I'm angry that Obama will not fight back. C'mon man, we need Shaft, and all you got is Urkel?

Way Off Broadway!

2010-12-04T16:45:00.002-06:00

We attended an off Broadway (about 1500 miles off Broadway to be precise) theater production of the Penny Dreadfuls this week. Max was the lead and the villain. The Professor to be exact, the leader of a gang of pickpockets in jolly old England during the 1800's, still a bit later than teabagger nirvana. It was first rate for a cast of 12 and 13 year olds. Jolly good in fact. Better acting than most of your Lifetime Movie Network originals I say!. Bravo to the cast of the Penny Dreadfuls!

How To Fake Outrage And Plug A Stupid Book At The Same Time!

2010-11-29T16:32:00.000-06:00

I am just so baffled by this dumb bitch that I can't even say anything but "you dumb bitch". Sorry for the lowest common denominator but reasoning is out of the question when it comes to this retard. By the way, Wikileaks is not an American website.

I'ma Pickin' And I'ma Grinnin"!!!!

2010-11-26T08:29:00.002-06:00

I've lived in Omaha (that's in Nebraska for you Midwestophobes) my entire life. I have had my moments of wanting to move to someplace else, usually when it comes to hearing small town minds with loud mouths. Death Cab For Cutie put it best when they sang "cuz in my head there's a Greyhound station, where I send my thoughts to far off destinations,so they may have a chance of finding a place where they're far more suited than here". Well that is all fine and dandy (how more Midwest can you get that that? Saying things like that means I can't ever leave) but that doesn't make anything better for those of us here that don't think progress is for liberal commie nancy boys that want to force you to go to art museums and eat non beef food served by effete snobs with skinny ties.

There's this thing here called "recall". It means if an elected official is a crook, a scalawag, a child molester, a wife beater (though years ago that didnt seem to matter to the folks here hint hint) you can gather up a certain amount of signatures from registered voters and force the elected official to resign or face a recall election. Twenty years ago, this city got all pissy about a Democratic mayor, Mike Boyle, because he threw butter patties at a sitting Governor during a dinner and got into a schlong showing contest with the police chief. The Republicans, errrr, citizens got all offended and got enough signatures to put him into a recall. He was gone. Yeah, recalled a mayor for being a lout. Gee, mayors are never allowed to kick some ass around here. Nope. At least Democratic mayors aren't.

Now, another Democratic mayor, Jim Suttle, not a wife beater, who won election a couple of years back against a former Republican mayor, Hal Daub, never convicted of anything, and inherited this shitty economy is facing recall. Why? We have built a new arena, a new baseball stadium, a pedestrian bridge across the Missouri River, developed the riverfront to a nice area that you can go without dodging rats and raccoons, attracted industry and turned old warehouses in the formerly dead downtown into beautiful loft apartments and condos. In other words since the Small Town Brigade recalled the mayor in 1988, this town has gone from Yawnsville to a city with a vision. Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaa! The Small Town Brigade is back. Stop the progress! It might cost some money!

Mayor Suttle is one of the worst PR politicians ever. Granted. He bought a hybrid car for the city to show what a green mayor he would be. Unfortunately, he let a car dealer finance the car at 29% interest. Ugh. This city also loves its pickup trucks so hybrids are thought of as some sort of tree hugging conspiracy designed to force pickup truck owners to face up to their shortcomings. Oh I'm sorry. Suttle hired business people to try to straighten out the cities' finances. Unfortunately, he paid them more than their predecessors. This pissed off the "hey I'd do that job for half that money" crowd. The salaries were lowered but the damage was done. Then the fatal blow. The infamous 2 1/2 % restaurant tax. If you eat at your local Burger King and spend $20 for the family, well you owe an extra 50 cents. Why? Well because the Omaha Police Union demands it. When they retire after 20 years, they get a "pension". This pension is based on 75% of their last few years salary. So what do Omaha Police do in their 18th 19th and 20th years of work? They work TONS of overtime, or as it's called "spiking". This raises their pension to outrageous levels. This spiking has led to millions of dollars of shortfalls that the city has to make up. So guess who the city is? Us.

Now the only perfect humans ever to your average Small Town Brigader are Jesus Christ, and cops. Cops are perfect. They never ever do anything wrong. When they shoot people with cellphones in their hand, when they plant evidence, when they "retire" early due to "disability" yeah go ahead, no problem! You do the job, they scream. If you're not doing anything wrong...you know the mentality.

Suttle is taking the fall for this. He's the taxing guy. He's to blame. This crappy economy is his fault because he's there. And of course, he's a Democrat. The Small Town Brigade are teabaggers. 1776 is their year. This is what is going on here. The sudden stoppage of progress must be achieved. No solutions to the budgetary crisis of course. Just a bunch a horse's asses kicking down the barn.

Welcome to Hick Town USA. Again.

Next Stop, Prison Laundry!

2010-11-24T11:44:00.001-06:00

No pardon for this turkey, please. Bye bye!

Why Does That Reverend Keep Saying God Is Fabulous!

2010-11-15T09:03:00.002-06:00

Oh my goodness! You never know when the homosexual is about? Try your local megachurch, look up at the guy ranting on the altar or whatever you call it. He is "about".

In this day and age of teen suicides, teen alcoholism, teen depression and teens being teens, who in the hell is pro-bullying? Well try your average bigot writing for the World Nut Daily. Linda Harvey, writing for that esteemed web site, claims the homosexual agenda is to blame for suicides, not closet cased puritans like her. Take the Reverend Rick DeMato of the Liberty Baptist Church of Helena, Montana,please. The good Rev opposes anti-bullying guidelines proposed by the local school board because "We do not want the minds of our children to be polluted with the things of a carnal-minded society." Take the Anoka-Hennepin School District in Minnesota, again please. Placating religious zealots in their anti-bullying guidelines, they forced teachers to stay all Obama when it comes to gay parenting and sexual identity. In other words, they say nothing.

Everybody wants to throw up in their mouth a little when they see the Phelps' clan protesting at some dead soldier's funeral, right? Well to be against anti-bullying legislation because of your 1950's paranoia means you may as well change your name to Phelps and start having carnal relations with your extra chromosomed half sister.

Wake up! The teabaggers still believe that film above is Best Documentary Oscar material. It's going to be a rocky ride in the same car with these dimwits for the next couple of years. Let's just hope the collateral damage can be kept to a minimum.

Mother No Oh Mother, Blood Blood!

2010-11-09T16:20:00.002-06:00

Good God, like we haven't seen enough of these nutty Republicans over the last few months, they have to bring back the one who started this descent into craziness? George W Bush is pimping his book all over Teabag America and telling crazy stories about how he was the voice of reason before invading the wrong country and how the low moment of his disastrous reign of error wasn't 9/11 or thousands of drowning fellow Americans in New Orleans but when some "singer" told the nation that he didn't care about black people? Well Jesus, Duh, Kanye!

But nothing explains the Bush psyche' better than the story of Babs and the fetus. Seems Barbara Bush had a miscarriage back before she turned into a George Washington impersonator and showed teenage George W his little brother or sister in a jar. What the fuck??? Gawdammmm.....No wonder he became a drunk. In fact I need a drink myself after hearing that. I wonder if there's a movement to nominate Fetus Bush/Palin in 2012?

Usa Hussein? I Thought There Were Only Uday And Qusay!

2010-11-05T15:28:00.003-05:00

Yeah that's a sign at a church in Harlem put up by a criminal, Pastor David Manning. Manning is a jailbird from way back who decided after 3 1/2 years in a cage to change his former criminal ways to a whole new brand of criminal ways. Religion.

If we locked up every religious criminal (boy would that be great or what?) they'd have to throw all the pot smokers out on the street and thanks to the voters in the whole United States (after all everything starts in Caleefornia)we cannot do that.So Manning continues to run his con and get all sorts of fans.

Like Ann Coulter. He tweeted the picture around exclaiming that he had a new church. Then the Snow Grifter from Wasilla forwarded Mr.Coulter's tweet onward to her mouth breathing fans. And now, The Snowbilly has withdrawn the tweet as an "accident". Come on, Parasailin', pay that 10 year old Hindu kid who does your tweets more so "accidents" like that don't happen again.

As for Mr.Coulter, I'd like to kick him right in his nutsack.

Dude, They Should Make Votin' Easy Like American Idol!

2010-11-04T15:57:00.003-05:00

Nice going,slackers! You stayed home and let the old, scooter ridin' Medicare suckers determine your future. 10% of the voters were under 30 and 25% of the voters had one foot in the crematorium. You can be baked to a crisp and figure that math aint gonna fly. Oh well, at least the teabaggers cost themselves the Senate.

Vote!

2010-11-02T09:22:00.000-05:00

Vote today. Or do you want this guy to win? It's that simple. Please vote.

Teabag Nation- Douchebag Edition!

2010-11-01T14:37:00.006-05:00

The final category for the Teabaggers is the douchebags, the wingnuts, the disgraces. The ones who are already there or about to be.

1)Joe Barton (R-Tx)--- this is the guy who apologized to British Petroleum for letting our Gulf get in the way of their felonious ways. If the Republicans take control of the House, this goofy sonuvabitch is in line to chair the Energy and Commerce Committee, a truly frightening scenario. Perhaps Texas seceding is a good thing.

2)John Culberson (R-Tx)--- is there a pattern emerging already? WTF is up with Texas? Freaking secede already! Culberson once wrote a letter to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton regarding the most pressing problem of our time. The British travel ban on Michael Savage. She responded to have Savage change his name back to Weiner and travel at will (I made that part up). He's also one of the Birthers who wants to see Obama's birth certificate. And he's in the House to stay.

3) Paul Broun (R-Ga)--- this douchenozzle is already in Congress also. He has compared Obama to Hitler and claimed Obama would establish a "Gestapo-like" security force to enforce health care. He also referred to the Civil war as "the great war of Yankee aggression". And that was in 2010! This knuckledragging nitwit is also poised to head the House Science Committee if the Republicans win the House.

4) Virginia Foxx (R-NC)---she may be the dumbest member of Congress. That's saying something. She has voted against aid to Hurricane Katrina victims, voted no on renewing the Voting Rights Act and called the Matthew Shepard murder a "hoax". She has also said that the health care bill is a bigger threat than any terrorist. Kind of like she is athreat to North Carolina's collective IQ.

5)Jean Schmidt (R-Oh)--- a dead ringer for that crazy teacher in Donnie Darko, Schmidt recently lectured 6 year olds on the evils of abortion. Some may never recover since most of them were squarely in the stork brings babies corner. She has agreed with birthers on video. She also recently asked or an apology from an anti-tax group that had a cake made with her Margaret Hamilton like mug on it. Why? Because they cut it up and ate it. Obviously another assassination attempt. She's Bat Schmidt crazy.

6) Ben Quayle (hopefully nothing-AZ)--- the son of the dopiest Vice President ever actually makes his old potatoe head father seem quaint and somewhat charming. He's run a TV ad calling Obama "the worst President in history". He was the lead sexter on the "Dirty Scottsdale" website. He sent out a flyer with pictures of his wife and kids yet he has no kids. They were loaners apparently. Quayle trails in the polls and will not win. That's the great thing about America, we don't elect the sons of ex-Veeps or ex-Presidents. Oops!

7) Marsha Blackburn (R-Tn)---this blonde harpie almost got into a fistfight with Al Gore when she implied he was a climate change advocate for his own greed. She rails against Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid. She has railed against money spent on Katrina victims. Blackburn is truly a sweet talking mean girl. Don't let that southern drawl fool ya. She's every bit as nasty as that screeching bandsaw from Alaska.

8) Allen West (Nut-Fl)--- a retired (thank god) lieutenant colonel running for Congress in Florida has claimed to have a higher security clearance than President Obama. This despite the fact the Army ran him out of town for firing a pistol near an Iraqi man's head during an interrogation. He recently claimed 47% of Americans pay no taxes and still are "able to vote for their own entitlement programs – be it free healthcare, free education, free cars, free cellphones ". What does West know about taxes? He had a bit of an $11,000 IRS problem himself. And the guy is winning?

9)Trent Franks (R-Az)--- this sun baked sot has called Obama "an enemy of humanity". He's also claimed blacks were better off as slaves than they are now. He asked the House Sergeant at Arms to look for "Muslim spies" on congressional committees. Franks is living proof that Arizona and its 24-7 stove top heat causes brain rot.

10) Lee Terry (R-Ne)--- so completely unknown that Evil Dick Cheney once referred to him as "Terry Lee" while campaigning for him, this Nebraska nerd is my congressman. So allow me to rant on this dork. He wins, but by decreasing margins each time. If his district was Omaha alone, he would be back in his law office chasing his tail. But because the Republican hacks in the Nebraska legislature gerrymandered his district to include a county full of miltary retirees, he wins by 3 or 4 points each time. Terry is as worthless a congressman as there is. He does whatever he's told, is fully owned by the drug companies, can change his stripes to whatever audience he's lying to and hides behind others while defending himself in his TV ads. Terry is truly a geek, a dork AND a nerd. That's his greatest accomplishment. Go away!

The douchebags of the right make life difficult. Some of them are entrenched, revealing many American voters to be douchebags themselves. But many can be thrown away after Novemeber 2nd. let's make sure it happens. Vote, Damn it!

Teabag Nation- Winner's Edition

2010-10-31T22:33:00.003-05:00

There are teabaggers who are going to win their elections on Tuesday. After all, there are always nuts running around Congress elected by nuts back home. It's inevitable, but this year is different. Some of these teabaggers are plain crazy. Crazy doesn't win. Or does it? Here are some crazies who may win.

1) Sharron Angle--- There are two bad things a candidate can be. Stupid or crazy. It's seldom you ever see both. Sharon Angle is both. And she has a real shot at getting sent to D.C. by stupid and crazy Nevada-ans. Oh you all know Sharon Angle by now. Second Amendment remedies. Making rapey lemons into rapey lemonade. The press should ask questions she likes. You look Asian. Medicare and Medicaid are against the first commandment. Running away from TV reporters. Christ, she doesn't even know how to spell "Sharon". This is the woman who refuses to talk to the press any longer because they have the audacity to report the stupid shit that comes out of her piehole. Come on, Nevada, Harry Reid is a spineless weasel, but Sharron Angle is Forrest Gump. Stupid is as stupid does.

2) Rand Paul--- this guy makes his loony old man look normal. Paul is so nutty he doesn't even know he's nutty. He started off his campaign to become Senator from Kentucky by telling Rachel Maddow he doesn't really think anybody who owns a business should be forced to deal with minorities if they don't want to. He called Obama "un-American" for not kowtowing to those earth rapists at BP. He dismissed mine fatalities by stating "sometimes accidents happen". Man, that's the truth if I ever heard it. Rand Paul is about to becomes a United States Senator.

3)John Raese---West Virginia was at least smart enough once to not want to be a part of Virginia. Then after they split they went off and came up with the new name "West Virginia"? Well maybe not so smart. John Raese is a teabagger out to replace Robert Byrd in the Senate. Raese is one of those guys who runs all the time and loses all the time. But this time, Raese may win. He has brought in serial adulterer and animal murderer, Ted Nugent and serial dumbass, The Quitta from Wasilla to campaign for him and his stupid ideas. Do away with the minumum wage? In West Virginia they like this idea? Really? Oh yeah, it's West Virginia.

4)Ken Buck---this Colorado cuckoo is in real danger of becoming a Senator. This guy is too crazy for the pro-lifers there as they yanked their endorsement the other day. Buck, probably most famous for dissing the birthers as "dumbasses", is living proof of that blind squirrel finding a nut proverb. He's called the President the greatest threat to the nation, wanted to repeal the 17th Amendment and then didn't, probably after he read the damned thing and throws the word "bullshit" around like nickels. Not that I object to the word "bullshit", I just object to bullshitters using it so much. Buck also objects to that old "separation of church and state" bullshit that so baffles the Delaware duo. As a former prosecutor Buck has said that a rape victim suffered from "buyer's remorse". Come on, Colorado, come down to the normal air, wise up, and send this goof home.

5) Louie Gohmert--- he's already in office. A Congressman from , where else? ,Texas. He's claimed that terrorist cells are creating terrorist fetuses to eventually blow up Americans in about 20 or 30 years. Wonder how pro-life he is on those terrorist blastocysts?

6) Michele Bachmann and Steve King--- the Morticia and Gomez Addams of the House of Representatives are probably both going back to the Congress where they will praise each other on the floor and call each other stunning. Why don't these two just get a rubber room? I wonder what happens when Bachmann speaks French to King. Oh yeah, that would require way too much intellect on either's part. Iowa and Minnesota are such common sense places. Except in two places apparently.

7) Carly Fiorina--- Oh she's not really a teabagger, nor is she going to win, but she is a conjoined twin to Meg Whitman. In other words, she has the compassion of a pissed off cobra. Outsourcing 200,000 jobs and running Hewlett Packard into the ground while collecting millions in compensation? Oh yeah, California, send that hack to Washington D.C. She is sooooooo yesterday.

8) Dino Rossi--- never heard of him? Well, he has a real chance of becoming the next Teabagger Senator out of Washington. This foreclosure profiteer has been another one of those O'Donnell perennial losers who run for everything and win nothing. Kind of like me in a 5K race. But I'm no danger to the republic. Rossi is. Or rather his supporters are. A Rossi supporter threatened Patty Murray supporters with a meat cleaver, another Rossi fan went all Rand Paul supporter on some Rossi protestor by attacking her in front of Republican HQ. Washington, calm down. And re-elect Patty Murray.

9) Linda McMahon--- the former CEO of a wrestling organization that glorifies idiocy and misogyny, Vince's beard, errr, wife has spent $50 million of her own money in an attempt to get to the Senate. I wonder if she knows that life in the Senate, as ridiculous as it appears, is real. Bruno Sammartino isn't going to rush onto the floor of the Senate and hit Al Franken with a foreign object in the middle of a debate. She does know that, right? That's what kills me about fans of people like McMahon and Meg Whitman. They spend money like a wrestling fan at the beer stand and tell you how fiscally responsible they are. And it hardly ever works. But at least the drooling fans of McMahon can wear their WWE gear at the polling place on Tuesday thanks to more wisely spent money on a lawsuit filed by Vince.

This is getting depressing. These people may actually win, along with Pat Toomey in Pennsylvania, Marco Rubio in Florida, Ron Johnson in Wisconsin and Mark Kirk in Illinois. They must be stopped on Tuesday. With First Amendment remedies. Please vote.

Teabag Nation-Loser's Edition!

2010-10-30T14:29:00.002-05:00

Well they're all losers, frankly, but unfortunately, some of them are going to win and head off to D.C. with Granny ridin' shotgun. Let's look at the sure losers.

1) Christine O'Donnell--- even though right wing blog sites are trumpeting her "surge" in the polls, this blithering idiot is going down to defeat. Whether it's her expressing wonderment that apes don't evolve into humans at the Dover Zoo, or her belief the First Amendment doesn't cover religion, or the fact she's just a grinning nitwit, she has possibly cost the Republicans the Senate. Thanks ,Old Christine!

2) Meg Whitman--- her campaign ad from last week is classic. She moved to California for the great economic opportunity 30 years ago. Who was California's Governor 30 years ago? Jerry Brown. Thanks for pointing that out, Meg. This woman's arrogance and ego are outweighed by only her massive forehead. Go away, Mrs. E-Bay. Deporting your former housekeeper? You are truly an awful human being.

3) Stephen Broden---this dimwitted black Texas Republican is running against a Democratic congressional incumbent, Eddie Bernice Johnson, who got caught diverting scholarship money from deserving students to her own grandchildren and defended it. Who better to lose to a teabagger than that woman? Well, Stephen Broden is going to make sure that doesn't happen. He likes to say things like if he loses, violent revolution is on the table. Great, Steve, who do you think you are, Sharon Angle? When Broden isn't serving as Glenn Beck's houseboy, he's blaming Saul Alinsky for Hurricane Katrina. But the worst news for this kookyburger is he got the endorsement of one Caribou Barbie. That's the kiss of death.

4) Joe Miller--- the Republican Senate nominee from the Fugitive State apparently thinks he can have his own police force. Kind of like a bearded Bill O'Reilly and his secret Fox News secuirty force he unleashes on infidels. Miller's goons actually "arrested" and handcuffed a journalist who asked too damn many questions. Miller, who also believes unemployment insurance to be "unconstitutional" even though his wife gladly took that "unconstitutional" money has sunk in the polls to third place, behind a Democrat and the incumbent, Leesa Mucowskee (thats how you spell it, Alaska Republicans) who is running as a write in. Miller is a thug, plain and simple. And yes, he has the endorsement of one Northern Overexposure. He's going down to defeat, Tawwwwwwwwd.

5)Carl Paladino--- This dope is running on the Republican ticket for Governor of New York. By now, everybody knows his temper is a bit of a problem. If you threaten to "take out" a New York Post reporter, jesus christ, how right wing ARE you? Paladino has offered to house the poor in prisons because "many young people would want to getthe hell out the cities". Really, Carl? Have fun managing your gay nightclubs after November 2nd.

6)Al Reynolds--- this Illinois teabagger recently said at a candidate forum sponsored by the League of Women Voters AND by the NAACP that African American men preferred dealing drugs to going to college because it's easier. The quote is bad enough but what really makes this guy a freaking idiot is he did it at an NAACP sponsored event? Even Reynolds should vote against himself for that move.

7)Glen Urquhart---Running for Delaware's only House seat are you? You and O'Donnell are the best Delaware Republicans can come up with? Wow, that's a whole lot of dumb for such a tiny state. Urquhart was recently caught on tape telling an audience of mouth breathers "the exact phrase separation of church and state came out of Adolph Hitler's mouth....so the next time your liberal friends talk about the separation of church and state, ask them why they're Nazis?" For the love of Ronnie Reagan, what is it about that phrase that so trips up Delaware teabaggers?

All of these teabaggers will lose on Tuesday. Oh, there are more of these kooks, but they may actually win. We can talk about those whackjobs later. Remember to vote and send more of these people back to Crazy Land where they can tune up their tin foil tricorn hats and hide in their basements. It is a MUST to vote on Tuesday, or that Halloween costumed freak at the top of this page will become everybody's crazy Uncle Ernie. And he will be in charge. Shudder.

Fear The Beard!

2010-10-24T15:43:00.000-05:00

The baseball season is almost over. Dammit. Go Giants! And good luck to 71 year old Maurice Mad Dog Vachon in the role of Giants closer!

Let's Idiot Proof Our House!

2010-10-21T15:55:00.003-05:00

There seem to be two different sets of reality going on in this country lately. There's the reality most of us live in, where 2+2=4 and taxes pay for streets and roads and the President of the United States was born in Hawaii and we are fighting a war in Afghanistan for god knows what reason and it is the year 2010. Then there's a whole other reality out there. Where facts are wrong, what I believe is right no matter what, the President is a secret Muslim, 2 1/2 million people showed up to hear a charlatan named Beck speak, Saddam Hussein attacked us on 9/11, my liberty is being taken away because Sean Hannity told me so, 2010 America is just like Nazi Germany, FEMA runs secret indoctrination camps, and stupid is the new smart.

Stupid is taking over, or rather threatening to take over. Where did this anti-intellectualism come from? Was it because John McCain, perhaps the biggest soul dropping bastard ever, chose that hot Governor from Alaska and a whole bunch of horny white men and their stupid wives lost their ever loving minds? She's just like us. Yeah, an idiot.

When did being an idiot qualify you to actually make decisions that matter? I don't care if your average idiot makes a decision to go to Chili's or Applebees? All us idiots make those decisions everyday. But for your average idiot to decide fiscal policy, approve Supreme Court justices, fund wars, give tax breaks to criminals, and kiss corporate ass to outsource jobs is a whole 'nuther deal.

Yet these teabagger types, pissed off white people scared to death of losing the home field advantage, are threatening to send idiots galore to the Congress. White idiots. Idiots just like them. We have the power to stop them. Will we use it? Or are WE the real idiots?

Messin With Texas?

2010-10-16T22:57:00.002-05:00

Not again. The Twins and the Huskers have mental blocks against teams I hate. I need to crawl back into a cave for awhile.

Chile? I Like Mine Without Beans!

2010-10-13T15:52:00.002-05:00

I am captivated by this story. The Chilean miners being rescued one by one. I can't stop watching it. I've smiled, laughed and cried at this story all day long. It is just as obsessive as back when Baby Jessica was trapped in the well back in the 80's. It's just as interesting as when the Russians helped free those trapped whales back in the 90's. This is great stuff.

In between the news of the rescued miners, the cable networks would go back to regular programming and it made realize something. This rescue of 33 human beings in Chile is what the whole world should be watching. It has brought a lot of the world together. Then I see American politicians, specifically teabaggers, splitting us apart. I assume teabaggers would let these men die. Screw 'em. They took that shitty job, let'em deal with the consequences. Don't be spending my tax money on that kind of nonsense. Rescuing miners? In Chile? Bah! Now give me my farm subsidy and my social security, I'm late for my taxpayer supported doctor's appointment.

This country is in tough shape. Financially certainly, but morally we are even more bankrupt if these teabagging clowns assume control. There will be no more society. It will be social Darwinism unleashed. Ayn Rand, the selfish creep, will be required reading and St.Francis of Assisi will be considered some bleeding heart pansy ass.

I have no doubt some of these nuts will win. But to keep any of them out of the limelight is a necessity. Bury these people in November. Then refuse to rescue them. Touche'!

Happy Birthday John!

2010-10-09T00:01:00.001-05:00

Need I say more?

Another Bully Wins!l

2010-09-30T17:06:00.004-05:00

I've about had it with bullies. Whether it's lunatic teabaggers hollering at fraidycat Democratic Congressmen, or geeky teenaged closet cases harassing nerdy classmates or asshats at Rutgers secretly taping a kid having sex with another guy and thinking how hilarious it would be to put it on the web. Yeah, fucking awesome. The victim decided to throw himself off the George Washington Bridge he was so humiliated. Now his bully roommate, Dharan Ravi, and female bully, Molly Wei, have been charged with some invasion of privacy bullshit charge. They need to be charged with a hate crime, and go away to a prison for quite a while to think about their asshattery.

The victim, 18 year old Tyler Clementi, was an accomplished musician who'd won scholarships and awards. I would think the two bullies, Dharan Ravi and Molly Wei, Indian and Chinese, would have some sort of compassion for other people perceived as being different. But no, bullies leap on others faster than a teabagger jumps on the crazy train. This train derailed big time. Bullying needs to be stopped but I'm not naive enough to think it ever will be stopped.

So instead I ask that bullies be stood up to. By us all. Bullies are chickenshits and if everyone realized that, they would cease to exist. So kick a bully's ass as soon as possible. Do it for your country.

From The Halls Of Schwules Museum To The Shores Of Fire Island!

2010-09-21T16:16:00.004-05:00

Looks like the United States Senate overwhelmingly voted to keep those damn homos in their military footlockers for now. By a one sided vote of 43-56, Senate Republicans, stuck together like, well you get the picture, along with both Democratic Senators from Northern Louisiana, have beat back an attempt to let American citizens, selflessly serving their nation, from being who they are. Yes, the Don't Ask Don't Tell nonsense remains law because of that 43-56 massacre.

Senate Republicans also congratulated the Minnesota Vikings on their 10-14 win over Miami and on and on and on, culminating with Lindsey Graham and David Vitter kissing in celebration.

Really, in all seriousness, is this 2010? Is John McCain really this big of a douchenozzle? Are Senate Republicans simply protecting their kids from being drafted by claiming to have "experimented"? Is this America?

Well of course it is. Cheap political hacks, with more in waiting, are running away with this game. You win when you lose by 13? What other political body allows this type of thuggery? Well, it's the United States Senate that leads the way in this pussyboy behavior. Allowing 43 cowards to control your little club? You should be ashamed. I know they aren't but they should be.

Personally, I cannot wait for future Delaware Senator Christine O'Donnell to propose the new military policy of DJDT (Dont Jerk Dont Tell). And I wish her success. There will be no more military and ,therefore, no more wars. Yay!

Teabagging In Ohio!

2010-09-17T17:48:00.002-05:00

The teabaggers are getting cocky. Some group of elderly misfits in Ohio called "the Freedom Institute of Erie County" sent out a questionnaire to political candidates asking their views in a highly non-partisan way. I don't know about you, but ANY group with the word "freedom" in their name is hiding something. Like their opposition to freedom for instance. Anyway, let's take a look at their non-partisan inquiries in the quest for "freedom" (and how I'd answer).

1. The Right to Life is a Constitutional right, therefore innocent human beings should have legal protection from conception until natural death. If you hold any exceptions please state them.

The only exception I can think of is Medicare sucking teabaggers. Bring on the death panels. Does natural death include starving children?

2. The regulation of Carbon Dioxide in our atmosphere should be left to God and not government and I oppose all measures of Cap and Trade as well as the teaching of global warming theory in our schools.

The only thing I want to cap is your mouths and trade you to God for a rational human being to be named later.

3. Marriage is defined as being between a man and a woman, any other type of Union is not marriage.

Well that's not true because two men can get "married" in Iowa and Massachusetts and New Jersey and Connecticut and soon to be in Ohio. It's inevitable, like you misspelling your signs.

4. Children should not be placed into foster homes where the parents are homosexual, bisexual, or transgender.

How about alcoholics and drug addicts and domestic abusers and child abusers, you know, those "normal" people?

5. Parental consent should be required for sex education that teaches more than direct abstinence.

Tell your 35 year old grandmother that.

6. The second Amendment to the Constitution [the right to keep and bear arms] should not be weakened in any way.

yeah, fuck that well regulated militia crap.

7. Only US citizens should be allowed to vote and a photo ID should always be required to vote. (The Mexican government requires a photo ID and fingerprint).

Can I buy you a one way ticket to Mexico?

8. I oppose Ohio’s State Income Tax.

I thought they were the Ohio's State Buckeyes? Sorry, I was driving down the public street and a fire engine siren distracted me.

9. I oppose the Obama Health Care Reform and would like to see more affordable healthcare through a competitive, open, and transparent system.

I love my insurance company as much as the next guy and I love my right to be screwed around by them. The only thing transparent here is your organization's collective IQ.

10. I oppose the ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy of the military and believe that all same sex partners should be banned from combat duty in the military because of the propensity to transmit blood-borne diseases in the theatre of battle.

The theater of battle sounds so gay. Are you sure you guys aren't friends on Facebook with Larry Craig and David Drier?

11. I support a law that will allow the people to place on a ballot all collective bargaining agreements of all government associations, unions, and guilds, for their expressed approval. Defeat of such an agreement would mean government workers would not be immune from the free market system.

Damned government workers ought to work for food ,like that guy on the corner with the sign that's spelled correctly.

12. I oppose card check for voting to implement a Union as this could give unions an unfair intimidation tactic to implement unionisation.

Last time I checked, most questions end with a ?. Speaking of card checks, I'll see you blue hairs at the casino tonight, blowing your welfare, errrr, social security checks.

13. I am not an economic pacifist. I believe that we need to protect our economic borders in order to ensure free and fair trade. Tariffs should be used to stop the wealth and jobs of Americans from leaving her borders.

Yeah, buy American, unless it's made by one of those commie bastards in a union.

14. The Federal Reserve as it is currently conceived needs to be abolished or at the very least audited.

Sounds like my very wish for the teabagger movement.

15. I advocated moving our currency to a debt-free supply-side labour-based currency.

Who the hell wrote that one for you? Adam Smith? You dumbasses have no idea what that even means. But I'm sure the cannon fodder in Afghanistan would be happy to come home once that one was passed.

Well there ya go. The "Freedom Institute of Erie County" questionnaire. Oh, and one question. What European homo wrote those questions for you? "unionisation", "labour" and "theatre"? Seriously, Ohio teabaggers, I expected better from you. Like asking your real question. "Do you support that n***** in the White House?"

Teabagging In Delaware!

2010-09-14T22:30:00.004-05:00

Congrats to the teabaggers for nominating Christine O'Donnell for the United States Senate seat from Delaware. This is just too damn funny to pass up.

Google her to read what whackjob she is, because by god, she won't google herself.