Saturday, August 31, 2013


Back in the day, in my case "the day" may as well be the Bronze Age, there was a rock band so unique, so different, and had no idea how to know when enough is enough just like the jazz bands I love so much. Chicago Transit Authority had horns, three different singers, and put stuff out on their double albums (cuz they had no idea how to rein it in) like 4 minutes of protesters chanting "The Whole World Is Watching" from the 1968 Democratic Convention.

Last night, Max and I spent the last night of 2013's See Em Before They're Dead Tour watching the current lineup of Chicago (no Transit Authority anymore they got sued)play the outdoor site at Harrah's. Unfortunately, the best singer is truly dead (Terry Kath) and the other singer is musically dead (Peter Cetera) so we had to listen to Robert Lamm do his stuff (Beginnings Question 67&68) and pale imitators do the Kath and Cetera stuff.

I would like to say I loved it, but I really can't. I am not a fan of that soft rock that Chicago started doing after Terry Kath exercised his 2nd Amendments rights back on January 23rd,1978 and blew his head off. And to get to the good stuff (Dialogue, Does Anybody Know What Time It Is, Beginnings, 25 or 6 to 4, Make Me Smile, I'm A Man) you had to sit through the lousy stuff (Hard Habit to Break, and anything put out after 1/23/78). Then you had the good stuff sung by people who couldn't do it justice. For instance, my favorite Chicago song is Dialogue, which featured both Kath and Cetera trading lyrics about relevant shit that holds true today (God I've had that conversation from that song so many times) but when done by others it just doesn't cut it. In fact YouTube "Dialogue" from 1972 with the original members. Breathtaking!

Chicago is what they are now. 4 original members , three of whom are horn players and Lamm and if that's good enough for you, great. It just made me miss an enormous talent like Terry Kath more. I truly do put the guy in the list of Top Ten rock singers of all time. The white Ray Charles. In fact, I had to show Max a picture of Kath to prove he was white. Sorry, but Lou Pardini just isn't Kath.

I hate to imply I hated this concert because I didn't. Chrissakes, they jammed to I'm A Man! It was good, but not great and goddammit I like great! RIP, Terry! You were great!

Side story, back in the 70's there was a bar here in Omaha called Chicago Bar I would frequent. It used the band's logo on the front window and one day while the band was in town they drove by the bar and saw the front window. They sued. And the Chicago Bar had to repaint the window. It did not make the Chicago Bar management smile.

Friday, August 30, 2013

Insaney Cheney!

Wyoming is a beautiful state full of fresh air and cool mountains and home to some of the most vile people who ever drew a breath of that fresh air. That, of course, being the Cheney family and anybody who tourists to Jackson Hole. Nah ,that may be a cheap shot at Wyoming because, after all, the Cheneys are really residents of about everywhere else on earth except Wyoming as are the Jackson Hole tourists.

Dick Cheney, born in Lincoln, Nebraska until even THEY ran the heartless prick out of the state and into Wyoming where he was indoctrinated into the Republican state of mind. As soon as this leech could, he left Wyoming and went to Washington DC where he started his career as a bully, a drunkard and a torture enthusiast while carefully avoiding going back to Wyoming, unless he could use the good folk for his own advancement. He did use them and they let him when he ran for that empty state's only Congressional seat and won over and over again. Like they do in Iraq and Russia. Cheney got bored having to go back to Wyoming and putting up with grown men in cowboy hats every now and then and became Secretary of Defense under President George H W Bush, the one who was really bad but nowhere near as bad as his stupid son so we don't think he was that bad. While there, Cheney invaded Panama, and bombed the shit out of Iraq. From there he led defense thieves Haliburton to prominence and moved to Texas ,where he shot a guy who got his face in the way of Cheney's shotgun. While living in Texas, The Dick drove a Texas car, paid Texas taxes and assuredly hollered "hot damn" every now and then. When the stupid Bush was ordered to pick Cheney as his Veep, Cheney ran back to Wyoming and said shit you people are sure hard to find. They call these types "carpetbaggers". Other well know carpetbaggers include Ted Cruz, Chuck Hagel, and Hillary Clinton (yes I can be an equal opportunity basher), however, they have hearts. Proven. Though Cruz's is black.

The spawn of the heartless Dick ,one Liz Cheney, has moved back to Wyoming to attempt to show the dopey folks who live there just how Wyoming-eeeee she is and become their new United States Senator. Though she's lived in Virginia for years, ahhhhhhhh who'd notice? Certainly not a bunch of rubes like Wyoming folk. They'd welcome Liz Cheney back as one of their own even though she was born in that liberal hellhole of Madison, Wisconsin, went to college in that pot smoking Colorado and that Obama loving Chicago and , wait a flippin minute here, has never lived in Wyoming??? What the fuck, Wyoming? You aren't falling for this bullshit are ya?

Wyoming currently has a Republican Senator who will cruise to victory in 2014 against any jeans wearing lamb the Democrats put up. But Liz Cheney has an ego. And a mean streak a mile wide. Wyoming's current Senator is some nobody named Mike Enzi, a guy so conservative he actually still wants a constitutional amendment to ban flag burning. But to Liz Cheney, that's not good enough. Liz Cheney looks like that cigarette smoking scotch guzzling barfly with a Noo Yawk accent who would actually ask you to step outside so she could kick your ass for actually challenging her stupid ass views. Wyoming? Please!

But Liz Cheney has gone off the Cheney Nutty Reservation by now claiming she doesnt want the gays to be able to get married. Trouble is her sister, Mary Cheney, is all gay married and shit and even the heartless prick of a father they ahare has has no problem with it. So Liz Cheney, who I think still has a beating heart, thinks her own sister is not good enough to be married. Wow, that's harsh. Even Dick Cheney is pushing his heart beating machine around and shaking his head at his utter failure as a father. You see, he did raise a good Republican conservative nutjob. But he also now knows he raised a complete asshole.

Good job, Dick!

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

I Have A Nightmare!

I was so disappointed at President Obama's speech today 50 years after Martin Luther King dazzled a crowd, or if you're a Bill Buckley Republican, a mob, with eloquence and grace. Oh no, I wasn't let down by anything he said, I was just pissed that a white park ranger wasn't standing behind him holding an umbrella over his head, like they did for Oprah, so the nutjobs could go crazy again. They are already going nuts claiming that MLK was a Republican and how they, the Republicans, let the Negroes vote and shit (that is until they started voting the wrong way). Jesus, Bill O'Reilly channeled MLK and the Good Reverend and Bill enjoyed a long conversation about how goddamned crushed MLK was because O'Reilly-Land, where chicks know their place, and blacks shined Bill's shoes without complaint, and the homos stayed in the closet, and George Zimmerman would be a hero, never came to fruition. Ahh, Billy, the voices in your head are far more interesting than what spews out of that whiskey hole of yours.

Meanwhile, Rushbo was yakking how MLK would have been a good conservative fellow who would tell the Coloreds to sweep streets like Michelangelo and take out the garbage and how Obama was just up there talking about himself cuz Obama is a ego maniacal uppity Negro. Oh Rushbo, you've been spouting off the same nonsense for 25 years and making millions saying the same fucking thing day after day. Better watch it, Rushie, that Michelangelo was a bit light in the loafers. You're just lucky none of your listeners know who Mike Angelo is.

Fox News couldn't wait to get off that celebration of the day everything started downhill in 'Merica. They were so happy when Rafael Nidal or whatever that Mooslim terrorist at Fort Hood's name is was sentenced to eat the needle. A huge sigh of relief came from Roger Ailes' office in between handjobs from blondes when Fox could go back to Islam bashing. And it stopped the hysterical phone calls from viewers thinking the blacks were forming an army to come take their front porch swings from them.

Matt Drudge, the totally not gay conservative web site vomiter, was outraged that the only black United States Senator, some Herman Cain wannabe from South Carolina named Tim Scott, was not invited to the speech. Yeah like he would have come. Nicki Haley wouldn't have let him off the leash. The totally not queer Drudge also posted links to stories on how few people showed up, how the Supremes were compared to the KKK, how the greedy King family makes money off MLK's deeds and words totally unlike Republicans who inherit Daddy's money, and posted a picture of some guy with a bone in his nose which is completely not racist cuz the guy was actually there.

What else did the wingnuts do during the speech besides whack off to Nailin Palin again? Over at Newsmax, they used this day as an excuse to slander Trayvon Martin again and start that whole clusterfuck argument again eventually steering into the Oklahoma killing and the Spokane killing and then climbing back under their rocks with their assault weapon waiting for the race war they want so bad. Over at RedState, Michael Savage, Mark Levin, Michelle Malkin and Ann Coulter's site, they just ignored the story and openly rooted for the United States to lose in Syria, much like they did in Iraq and Afghanistan, once Obama took over to clean up their mess. And oh yeah, at the Westboro Baptist Church site, they still hate fags.

Business as usual.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Fool Me Once.....Fool Me A Hundred Times!

Looks to me like since we're done in Iraq, and everything is so wonderful there, the defense contractors need another war to get that profit margin up and it looks like the game is rigged for Syria. Bashar Al-Assad the rat faced strongman of Syria is engaged is a fight with rebels who want to topple his murderous ass and become the murderous asses themselves. So of course the defense contractors, pulling the strings on the political puppets in Washington, need to pick a side here since it's the sexiest war we got. And that side is.......naturally the worst side. The religious whackjobs who want to put Syrian women in burkas, welcome Al Queda as a good neighbor, and take Syria back to the good old days. The 6th century. Ahhh, the good old days like they had in Afghanistan back when you could take off a Sunday afternoon and go to the stadium to watch the stonings. Hit em again Hit em again harder harder!

The excuse that will be used so we can lob a few multi million dollar cruise missiles into Syria and kill a few people is that Al Assad allegedly used chemical weapons on his own people. Horrific indeed! You wanna kill people, do it like a man, like we do, with non chemical weapons like napalm and cluster bombs and bunker busters and drones and shit. That's the American way. When we kill you, we do it right. America, Fuck Yeah!

There is no doubt this clusterfuck about to happen is a repeat of 2003. What with UN inspectors and chemical weapons and a guy with a mustache we don't like. The only problem here is we used to take years, perhaps a generation to make the same mistake again. Now it takes us like what, a year? Go in, drop a few bombs, kill a few people the good way, send the poor back into a meat grinder, and topple a bad guy so the people can install an even worse asshole.

Yep, way to go. It's happening again. Hey it's not as scandalous as Miley Cyrus, but it sure should be. She stuck her ass where it didn't belong and now we are about to do the same.

Saturday, August 24, 2013

Live From The Assisted Living Arena!

There's a guy in the local rag whose job it is to review concerts. The typical review of a band or singer currently drawing crowds (Lil Wayne, Katy Perry) goes as follows:

"The hip young crowd was dancing and singing and loving every second of it"

The typical review for a band playing at a club that holds 500 people that nobody has ever heard of (Matt & Kim, She & Him)goes as follows:

"The hip young crowd was singing and dancing and loving every second of it."

If a band of legends shows up (Dylan, Ozzie) the typical review goes like this:

"Everybody there was really old......."

Fuck him!

Last night two legendary bands came to town and played a three hour marathon of hits that had us old folks singing and dancing when we could get up and off our walkers. The 2013 version of The Guess Who (original member Jim Kale only) and Creedence Clearwater Revisited (original member Stu Cook only)blew the doors off the new arena in Ralston. Yeah, who cares that the original drummer for the Guess Who was sick (well I do hope he gets better actually) and who cares that Doug Clifford of CCR missed his second gig in 50 years due to injury (our luck) cuz these bands played their hits and had everyone in the palm of their hands. Max, perhaps the youngest member of the crowd, got so into it some old hag of maybe 50 asked me, a geezer myself, if I'd forced Max to come? Nope, Granny, he forced me to come cuz the kid digs the oldies. Good for him.

Despite Mister Hipster concert reviewer's snooty opinion that the concert made him "uncomfortable" because he felt like he was watching "tribute bands" and the crowd was so old (maybe he was afraid his CPR skills had slipped) this 3 hour marathon of hits was awesome (is that term still "hip"?). If ya get the chance to see these current versions of these bands at a casino or something, do it. You won't be sorry, unless of course your oxygen runs out while you are moving to Fortunate Son.

Friday, August 23, 2013

Get A Klute!

My goodness this oldie but goodie is swinging around it's irrelevant head again. Jane Fonda,aka Hanoi Jane, is in a movie about a black guy (The Butler) who lived in the White House back before there was a Kenyan Usurper living there and portrays, hold on to your tri corn hats here, Nancy Reagan. Did you say Reagan? Yeah Nancy Reagan, the wife of the sainted Ronnie Reagan. I'll take time now to allow the faint of heart to compose themselves and take a few hits of oxygen.

We good? Cool.

For those of you under the age of ,oh I don't know, about 80, Jane Fonda is an actress. She acts. She gets paid money to act. To be on a stage or in front of a camera pretending to be somebody she's not. You know, like 95% of right wing radio talk show hosts. Jane Fonda's heyday was the 1970's. That's right, the 1970's, back when most of the Tea Party folks were just becoming eligible to get free government money and scooters. The 1970's, when everybody threw keys into a fondue bowl and went home with other people's spouses, people were disco-ing like mad and snorting coke off hooker's asses, wearing tight polyester clothes that would go up in flames at the first touch of a errant cigarette ash, women were burning their bras and Bill O'Reilly was just startin to get down with the chicks! Oh, the 1970's. And Jane Fonda was over-acting her way to two Oscars. The good old days.

But Jane Fonda doesn't start VFW types and 40 year olds who listen to Uncle Joe's boring ass 'Nam stories hair on fire for that crappy Fun With Dick and Jane movie, no sirree Bob. Jane Fonda, in a very strange stooge stage of her life, went to Hanoi in July of 1972, when peace was just about at hand in Vietnam. It was there she called Nixon and Kissinger "war criminals" (yeah so?) and then posed on the seat of an anti-aircraft gun, which was used to shoot at American B52's that were dropping bombs on people. I'm not sure that was all that wise, but nobody ever called Jane Fonda wise. Then she met with American POW's and took messages from them to give to their families back home. Of course, according to the not so bright who believe every e mail they get, she also gave up the messages and the North Vietnamese started beating the shit out of the POW's right in front of a cackling Jane Fonda. Or something like that.

Well anyway, some of these people, still bitter over an illegal and immoral war that ended 40 fucking years ago, don't want you to see The Butler because the traitorous Hanoi Jane is in it. Some theater owner in Kentucky refuses to show it because Jane the Traitor is in it besmirching the legacy of Nancy Reagan, though after looking at this guy I'm not sure he wants "those people" coming to his theater anyway. For the really lonely, there's Facebook pages up denouncing the movie they've never seen where all sorts of not so well thought out and historically inaccurate statements are posted, just like right wing talk radio.

For fuck's sake , in 1985 or 40 years after the end of WW2, nobody gave a shit about Axis Sally or Tokyo Rose (whoooooooo?) why does anybody give a shit what a dumb actress did in 1972. Especially if the dumb actress has apologized hundreds of times for not affecting the war's outcome whatsoever.

Jane Fonda may have been naive' and maybe even stupid in 1972, but in 2013 she has certainly wised up. She told the people who continue to hold on to this 40 year old grudge to "get a life". Really. Please. Before you're dead and the funeral guy can't get the nasty bitter grimace off your mug.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Screw News!

Here's your news for today from the media we protect with an entire Amendment, oh not as important as that Second Amendment, but still pretty damn important. And the people who use it to tell the rest of us what the hell is going on really have no idea what to do with it.

Take Bradley Manning for example. You know, that guy who got 35 years yesterday for stealing classified information and giving it to a sun deprived Aussie who blabbed it all over the place? What did Manning give up? What could happen to the murderers in the name of us he exposed? Is the nation secure? Has anything been done to make people like Manning not be able to steal our shit? Nope!

All day today we get news about some chick named Chelsea Manning who just yesterday was a dude named Bradley Manning. Oh my, the news media has a new obsession. Transgender Leakers. What will happen to poor Chelsea in prison? Will Chelsea get hormone therapy in prison? Will Chelsea become somebody's bitch? Enough of that national security bullshit, let's hear the sexy stuff! Thanks news media. When all those soldiers were dying overseas, well at least in WW2 anyway, they were dying so not only could limpdicks keep their guns, but so you could get on to the important crap when informing the nation of whet the hell is going on!

Now in Right Wing Crazy News. Three black thugs murdered a white Australian not named Julian Assange in Oklahoma because they were bored and hated whitey. So when Aussie Chris Lane goes out to jog and mind his own fucking business, the thuggish blacks shoot him in the back because that's what blacks do. Three blacks kill a white guy!!! Where's Obama now??? Huh? Oh, one of them is white? So two black thugs murder a white guy! Where's Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson and Barack Hussein Obama now? Huh huh?? It's just like the Zimmerman case everybody got all pissed off about so why isn't that same bunch of agitators saying anything now?? Huh?

Well I'll tell you the difference there, poor oppressed white folk. When they caught these three killers in Oklahoma for shooting an innocent guy for simply living his life, the cops didn't shake their fucking hands, tell em everything was all right and send 'em home to watch Judge Judy. Nope, they threw their worthless asses in jail and charged them with murder.

And if you still don't understand the difference here, go make more genius comments on Fox Nation and go out for a jog.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Worse Than My Lai? Really?

Bradley Manning got 35 years today for giving a shitload of secrets to an Australian creep named Julian Assange. Some of those "secrets" included murder and war crimes that every person involved in them will get away Scot free. Other secrets probably involved things that should have been kept secret. You see, the problem with Manning is he gave away the entire store without filtering out the stuff that he should have filtered. Assange, currently hiding out in Ecuadoran Embassy in London in a tiny room with no sun has apparently gone so nutso he now loves fellow creepy crawlies like Ron Paul and Matt Drudge. Ewwww. The humanity!

But Manning will go away for 35 years, or at least 11 1/2, because, well, he aint that bright. Like Ed Snowden, Manning is a pawn of douche bags like Glenn Greenwald and Julian Assange. These are professional gadflies and attention seekers who use others for their own self aggrandizement. Greenwald has even gone so far as to use his spouse, or partner or whatever to transport secret documents to Germany and had a hissy fit when Miranda was detained by British authorities for a whole 9 hours. Geez, that whole thing is starting to take on a whole Michael Douglas/Matt Damon feel that quite frankly kind of gives me the willies. Sleep tight baby boy! Ewwwwww again. Now I agree that detaining somebody to get back at a pain in your ass may be a bit much, but if Greenwald lacks the courage to do this himself, then Miranda needs to realize he's being used and get used to it. Or dump Greenwald.

Back to Manning. 35 years? Really? Let's look at what other got for "similar" crimes against the United States Government.

Back in 1968, some guy named Lieutenant William Calley led a platoon to a Vietnamese village, couldn't find Charlie, so he ordered the massacre of the entire village as a consolation prize. Calley was convicted of murder, sentenced to life in prison, and served a whopping 3 1/2 years of house arrest. Nixon even sort of pardoned him. 3 1/2 years? For murdering women and children. Good gig if ya can get it.

Back in 2010, a soldier named Jeremy Morlock killed three Afghan civilians, then like the drugged up idiot he is, posed for pictures yanking dead kids heads up by their hair, like they were a fucking deer. Fuck him. But back on topic, Morlock got 24 years. 24 years of which he will serve 7. Another pretty good gig if you're a psychopath.

But Manning the stooge will serve at least 11 1/2 years because well face it, he aint that bright. He copied a bunch of stuff, some of it Calley and Morlock like, and HE goes to prison for more time than Calley and Morlock. In fact the real ringleaders of the atrocities, three assholes named Cheney, Bush and Rumsfeld, get no time except for the time they spend raking in the millions. Fuck them too.

Perhaps Manning should have copied all that stuff, then shot a bunch of browns and yellows. he'd have cut his sentence in two.

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

The Two Party System At Last!

In America we have a two party system, not because it's a law or anything, but because Americans are too fucking lazy to change anything, like thinking the metric system is commie socialism and way too hard, or the penny actually serves a purpose or like here in Big Red Country, that a 1918 law forbidding the teaching of German is still all goooood cuz someday we may need to substitute the word "Spanish" in there and changing one word is pretty easy.

Now the party system is shit, since it's really just a one party system controlled by Wall Street miscreants on different levels, but recently the Republicans seem to be attempting to become a real second party. Oh yeah, totally insane, but really different. Let's all wish them luck in this attempt to become the party of ignorance and one of the finest 19th century thinking organizations ever.

Now to belong to the new and upcoming hipster Republican party you have to pass the litmus test. That test proves to be difficult as not a lot of people can dumb down enough to become the intellectual equivalent of Louie Steve Gohmert-King. Hey, give it a try:

1) Do you believe that climate change is a hoax? Well despite the communist, vegan, pussified 97% of scientists who look at the disappearance of glaciers, the Arctic Circle, Greenland, and Antarctica and see climate change, we see nothing out of the ordinary. Hey it happened once in 1451 or something and everybody lived, right? Besides, if God wants us all to die, well whatya gonna do? So keep buying those Hummers and pretty soon we Iowans can too go to the beach. Cool.

2) Not My President Nobama born in the USA? No chance! His real name is Barry Gibb or Soweto or something and he was born in a mosque in Kenya or Indonesia or one of those other Muslim countries like Hawaii and is not eligible to be President. Hell, his father was a Muslim communist from Kenya and that makes him automatically a citizen of Mecca and his mother, despite being a US citizen, wasn't REALLY an American, if ya know what I mean. Now Ted Cruz, born in Canada and whose mother WAS a real US citizen, well we got no problems with that. Cuz he's a real American, eh!

3)Illegal immigrants are taking our jobs. Hey., it's got nuthin to do with the fact they are brown and talk funny. If they weren't here, American corporations could hire American white people at a decent wage fixing roofs and shit and everybody would be employed and happy. Of course we are against the minimum wage, what are you, some kind of Bolshevik?

4)Abortion is always wrong. Period! You wimmen folk need to resist the charms of all us men and stop putting out and taking those free birth control pills like Skittles. Rape? Incest? Stop making that shit up. It doesn't happen. Have more babies so Bill O'Reilly can call you leeches and get all pissed and stuff.

5) Food Stamps are used by like 99% of the population thanks to Nobummer. You walk into the Albertsons or the Safeway or the Dillons and walk out with free lobster and beer while the rest of us in line behind you, as you talk on your free Obamaphone, sit back and drool over your good fortune and hate you for leeching off my tax money. Thank you, Mr.Koch, for allowing me to work for you thanks to all those well deserved tax breaks. Some day I too will be rich.

6) Rodeo Clowns are funny! Hey, just cuz a rodeo clown wore a Barry Obammer mask with big lips and hollered about a bull running him over and tried to shove a broomstick up his ass and played with the lips while woo hoohing a crowd of Missouri meth heads into a Kenyan hating mob doesn't mean it's racist. Hey, what about when that website I can't find but read by dozens made Bush into Hitler? Or when Bush was taunted for looking like a chimp. Huh? Huh? Besides, Obummer IS Hitler.

7) Obamacare? Despite the fact the law passed through all 3 branches of government unscathed we do not take yes for an answer!It will lead to death panels ,you know, like when the gubmint decides if you will get care or be forced to die. Yeah, like insurance companies do now. It will lead to doctors up and quitting their jobs to go work for some roofing company or Papa Johns cuz Obamacare will cut physician's reimbursements to practically zero. That will lead to death panels run by Michelle Obama who hates white people. Health insurance for the poor? Pffffffft!. Get a job and then you get great health insurance with a $5000 deductible unless Obummer forces nice job creators to cut back on hours so they aren't forced by dictatorial government death panels to insure you. Not covering pre-existing conditions? Hey don't get sick. Too goddamned bad. Now where's my Medicare card. Keeping your kids on parents insurance to age 26. Bahhhh! Just keeps those lazy ass kids playing Call of Duty all day. Get a job on a death panel or something.

8) Science? Pinheaded lab coat wearing nerds! What do they know? We hated science in school anyway. It was boring. And all wrong. Because we don't like its conclusions. The earth being billions of years old, global warming, dead bees, dinosaurs, photosynthesis, ozone layers, pollution, latin, outer space, disease cures, Dana Rohrbacher? Screw it, none of it matters. Armageddon is right around the corner because of that Kenyan Usurper anyway.

9) Voting Rights? Voting isn't a right. It's a privilege for anyone other than white folks. Look it up. Did you know that if only white people voted that Mittens Romney would have won in a landslide? Damn cheating Acorn voter fraudsters. Stop the voter fraud and we white people win everytime. Like the Founding Fathers intended it to be. We are strict Constitutionalists! Don't Tread On Me!

You must also believe that Benghazi is the worst scandal in American history since the IRS scandal and the Black Panther guy opening the door for the old white ladies scandal. Impeaching Obummer is the ultimate goal. Foe what? Who cares? You must believe that Barry Soweto Nobama is coming to get your guns. Despite no gun control legislation passed since forever, he is a very sneaky Islamist. Lulling you to sleep with doing nothing, he then, by not taking your guns, actually takes them.It's very complicated but very true!

Yep, this two party system may work after all. When the flakes and nuts begin to take over, it IS truly a two party system. And that makes it so much easier for the lesser of two evils, The Democratic, uhhhhh, Democrat Party to take control, do whatever Wall Street tells them to do and at least keep the country from a complete brain death panel meltdown.

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Breaking Badly!

I am really late to this TV party so I am sorry. I have been wasting time watching stuff like Hell's Kitchen and The Great Food Truck Race for the last few years and found out I had no idea what "cooking" meant until I began binge watching this Breaking Bad series on Netflix.

I know this series is hugely popular and I actually checked out much of Season 2 and lost interest mostly because I guess I never saw Season 1. Also because I always saw Bryan Cranston as Malcom's weirdo Dad and had no idea who Aaron Paul, Anna Gunn or Dean Norris were. But I do now. We have been obsessed catching up on this badass drama for the last three weeks and have finally gotten to the end of Season 4. Oh Giancarlo Esposito, if you and Andre Braugher ever teamed up for a show, I'd watch you guys do anything. Throw in a little Jonathan Banks or Steven Bauer and its a colossal flop, but I'd watch all 5 episodes.

This is truly the story of a bad guy. A mild mannered chemistry teacher who cooks meth to take care of his family after a cancer diagnosis. Yeah right, Walter. This guy is interested in one thing and one thing only, self preservation and if he takes his scheming wife and his adoring son down with him, well so be it. The point I lost all hope for Walter was early, when he allowed his son's desperate attempt to save his miserable life with a money raising website to be used by the great Bob Odenkirk to launder his meth money. Geez, Walter, what a prick you are.

I really do love this show. Though extremely violent and often head turningly so (a head on a turtle?ugh), the bad vs. even badder storyline is fascinating. I have to catch up with the first part of Season 5 before watching the concluding episodes. Now I don't know if Jonathan Banks' Mike gets whacked but when he goes as I'm sure he does, I hope he tell Walter to go fuck himself. Mike is the best character, and by best I mean likable, on the show because he knows who he is, what he has to do, and makes no excuses for it. And he's cranky. I love Mike. Mike, we hardly knew ye.

Who needs to get theirs?

1) Walter-- this narcissist needs to get it in the end. Even if it's a Shield like ending ala Vic Mackie where he is forced to go back to teaching yawning high school kids, he needs to pay for his crimes against children. Using his son is the worst, and poisoning Brock is nearly as bad.

2) Skyler-- she became hypnotized by money. She became all that Walter was, turning a blind eye to it all, as long as she got what she wanted it was okey dokey.

3) Marie--man she is nuts and also completely self centered. But since almost everybody bad is already dead, I'm stretching already. Marie needs an ass kicking.

Who needs to be vindicated?

1)Jesse- the kid has a conscience and a deep sense of loyalty, mostly to the wrong people (man I hear ya Jesse). Yeah he can be a dumbass and annoying as hell, yo bitches, he saved more lives than he took.

2) Saul-- like Mike, he is what he is and makes no apologies for it. Bob Odenkirk is great in this role, funny and sleazy at the same time. Just let Saul be Saul.

3) Hank- poor Hank. Surrounded by incompetents and nutcases, Hank just keeps chugging along trying to deal with his own demons, his own hidden sense of decency, and his desire to put an end to these assholes fucking up his country. Dean Norris is just great as Hank. Obama needs to appoint Hank as FBI Director.

4) Walter Junior-- the really good of this show is a cerebral palsy stricken 16 year old who worships his nasty ass father. Blind in his loyalty, much like Jesse , Walter Junior just needs to wake up and accept his murderous father for who he is. In fact, I want the ending to be something along the lines of a dead Walter Senior, a jailed Skyler, and Walter Junior finding the money and the hat and getting his damned Dodge Challenger and running the high school. He deserves it.

Once again, I know I am extremely late here, and to those who watched the show from the start I hate to step on your toes. You are hipper than me for sure. But Walter White, like Tony Soprano before him, needs to go. Just hopefully it's not another of those ambiguous black screens. Please.

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Listen To The Music! No Really! Listen!

Another in the line of the Max's Dad and Max's "See Em Before They Die" tour came to town Friday night. The Doobie Brothers hit the stage at around 8:00 PM and played and played and for a solid hour and 45 minutes.Blasting through all the hits, a couple of new songs and a couple of deep cuts that only people like me appreciated (Damn I love Eyes of Silver and Neal's Fandango!). Now I had never ever seen these guys before and given how damn good they are now, I can only imagine how good they were in 1975. So I always You Tube these bands videos from long ago (check out the Doobies from the Midnight Special in 1973) and inevitably decide, Hey Man, these guys are better now. Yeah maybe it's the technology, the better instruments, the experience, the lack of drugs and booze, I don't know but it makes the whole thing that much better. And when your kid loves it as much as you do, well there's nothing better.

Notes from the Doobie Brothers concert:

1) Goddamn, these people are old. Decrepit, overweight and they drink like fish. This is why I avoid mirrors.

2) If you're 50 plus, and in some cases 60 plus, please don't dance like you are at the Fillmore West, high on acid and waiting for the Sir Douglas Quintet to take the stage. You look ridiculous. Swaying and moving is fine, dancing like you hear something totally foreign to what I hear is not.

3)Yeah I know you are happy to be out of the house, with friends, and drunker than a skunk, but when you hear a song you are not familiar with (oh I don't know Take Me In Your Arms or Eyes of Silver), that doesn't give you permission to start hollering at your friends how much fucking fun you are having and how are Cody and Sienna doing in college. Shut the fuck up, some of us are listening.

4)If you are going to smoke weed, go off somewhere where there aren't a lot of people. Somebody fired one up right behind us and though I don't really care if you smoke or not, it made me explain to Max that yes, weed smells that bad no matter what kind it is, no I haven't smoked it since the seeds and stems days, and yes, that guy is probably not treating his glaucoma or anxiety, he's just getting high. And he's 55 years old.

5)Finally, if you are going to an outdoor concert, and you bring your own chairs, you really don't have to get there 2 hours early. This place was jammed at an hour to go mark. Yet, nobody was up front where you had to stand. Had I not brought my own chair, had a stick in the mud kid with me who didn't want to stand, I'd have been up front high fiving Tom Johnston and Patrick Simmons.

Yep, that's it. Love the old guys. They play music with real instruments and play tunes with a hook. What I am not saying is back in my day........Well, yeah I am......See # 1....

Friday, August 9, 2013

Priebus Uber Alles!

Reinhold Reince Priebus is not the name of some obscure Wehrmacht Field Marshal who ran his Panzers all over the Belgians in 1940 though I am not really through going over my Rise and Fall of the Third Reich glossary yet. Nope, Reinhold Reince Priebus is Der Republikkan Party Field Marshal currently running all over the "liberal media" like it was a bunch of Frenchmen throwing their arms up with all his whining about a possible Hillary Clinton documentary on CNN and a mini series on NBC. And that so called "Liberal media"? Yep, as usual, the commie libs bent on destroying the country by not being Fox News are falling in line calling for an end to a mini series on Hillary because you know, if it went on the air, feminazis and homos and emasculated men would all run through the streets demanding the immediate election of this evil again she devil. Maureen Dowd, Chuckie Todd, David Brock and that other evil woman who is so sorry she called out Lord Mittens of Romney on his bullshit over Benghazi, Candy Crowley have all fallen into line behind the monocled Reinhold Reince Priebus in calling for an end to all that Hillary Worship! Liberal media? You are getting all soft.

Priebus is all over the liberal media, in between handjobs from Hannity, in calling for an end to the Hillary madness. In fact, Field Marshal Priebus is actually threatening to keep 2016 Republikkan debates off CNN or NBC if this Hillary Halo series goes on. Shit, maybe this is a strategy that has its own merits. Keeping Republikkans off CNN or NBC may only benefit the 2016 losing party. Christ, who wants the sight of hundreds of creaking Republican cranks booing the shit out of Chris Christie on a stage after he refuses to endorse the Santorum endorsed public flogging of sluts who get raped Constitutional Amendment. No way Herr Priebus wants that, does he?

Chancellor Priebus is a shrewd man. He knows what pussies the liberal media is. In their overwhelming desire to not be called biased , these wimps will bend over kissing some Priebus ass until they practically consider hiring Michael Savage to anchor the Evening News. Nut up, media. Priebus has a big mouth and he didn't get to be head of the American Maniacal Party by engaging in debates while sipping brandy and watching polo. He was more maniacal than the rest of them (and he wasn't color challenged like Mikey Steele). Stop cowering in fear of this Republikkan version of Major Hochstetter like Colonel Klink and start acting like you should. Say Fuck You Reinhold and get onto reattaching your balls.

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Under Steve King's Dome!

My neighbor to the east, Representative Steve King (Unexplainable-Ia) is back at it again proving a man can be really stupid at a lot of different things. The cantaloupe calved Mexicans hauling 75 pounds of pot (does this guy have ANY idea how much 75 lbs of weed is?)across the desert was bad enough. But King's sombrero-phobia is well known so who really gives a ca ca what King thinks about anything to do with immigration or about red or green chili for that matter.

At a meeting sponsored by his Kochsucking masters , The Americans For Prosperity For The Koch Brothers, King launched into his well thought out linear thinking regarding climate change. King, who I assume was not drunk or stoned out of his mind on 75 lbs of wacky weed, said about climate change, "(climate change)is not proven, it’s not science. It’s more of a religion than a science.”

More of a religion than a science? So it is myth? Superstition? Utter delusional bullshit? This coming from a guy whom, I assume, formerly believed in a talking snake and a whale without a digestive system. This is progress! Stevie, maybe there is hope for you. Religion is crap! Steve King said it.

Of course at this point, King didn't leave well enough alone and launched into a climate change is not happening but it's a good thing climate change is happening by making a statement so Sean Hannity like I'm surprised King didn't suddenly grow Flintstone hair, start smirking and suddenly develop an urge to watch porn. King said “I spent a lot of my life cold, it felt pretty good to get warmed up,”. Well butter my corn, Steve King likes to be warm and he doesn't care how it happens.

I used to think rising carbon dioxide levels were caused by cars and cows and trees and shit. Now I realize that the carbon dioxide coming out of that blabbermouth's Koch hole is really the cause. Good Lord, Steve King, nobody can be that ignorant without an agenda. Is King's agenda to get the oceans to rise so far that Davenport or Keokuk become the new Myrtle Beach? Jesus, Steve, admit it. I'd have more respect for you if you'd just admit being an evil Cheneybot. This I am the dumbest dipshit in America act demeans everybody in Iowa. What's it gonna get you, Steve? Other than 75% of the Tea Party vote that is.

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Hey Rolling Stone, Look Over Here!

Thank you Ebony Magazine. Anything that makes the trolling How Come There Aint No Ivory Magazine crowd stuff more lard into their faces and raise their blood pressure is fly with me.

And oh yeah, Ebony is very concerned of the ramifications of their covers.

Fruitvale Station!

In the wake of all the frenzy over the non murder of Trayvon Martin by the fast driving gun toting George Zimmerman comes a movie sure to cater to the already converted of us who think thank god my son is white.

Fruitvale Station, the true story of the murder of Oscar Grant by BART transit cops on New Years Day 2009, is out in theaters and is a must see. Directed by a first timer named Ryan Coogler, the entire movie is the last day in the life of a 22 year old black man with all sorts of troubles with all sorts of joys. You know, like all of us. Grant is played by Michael B Jordan of Friday Night Lights and The Wire fame. He is a kid with a baby, a girlfriend, and a mother played by Oscar winner Octavia Spencer, whose concerned nature and eventual crushing sorrow will bring you to tears, unless of course you are Ted Nugent and openly root for armed authority figures who like to shoot unarmed black kids.

The movie follows Grant through his last day on earth, as he deals with his own anger, his own lack of discipline, his own desire to right his wrongs and his desire to have fun on New Years Eve. Hey, this kid isn't portrayed as a saint, there is no halo over his head at all. He is a kid like many kids at 22, confused, unsure of the future, wanting to be a good man, but still unwilling to back down from a challenge.

It is the last 15 minutes of this 87 minute film that will have you both angry and sad. When he is rousted by BART cops for an incident on a train, handcuffed and eventually turned onto his stomach and shot in the back (stop cheering Ted) you will be pissed. When he lies in a hospital surgery room and his mother takes his friends hands and prays for his life you will be on the edge of tears, but when he eventually dies and his mother demands to see his body let the waterworks flow cuz fighting it is fruitless.

This is probably the most important movie of 2013 so far. Which of course means only a minuscule percentage of the population will bother to see it. But please, see it.

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Hey Baby, It's Me, Reid Ribble Again!

NUNS! Used to be a cry to run for your life in Catholic grade school when Sister Mary Karen would rise from her crypt and terrorize innocent lazy ass 6th graders back in the 60's. But today up on that crypt they call Capitol Hill, a new breed of NUNS! New Nuns , the kind who wear regular clothes and actually preach much like the man they married , Jesus H Christ, about helping the poors and not being a fucking asshole.

Today Sister Mary, no no, they have regular names now, Sister Simone Campbell, testified in front of a group of blood sucking creatures called the House Budget Committee that food stamps really do help poor people and that the vast majority of food stamps go top little kids and working people. But ogres like the jug eared Wisconsin economic nimrod, Paul Ryan (Loser-Wi) decided to take on the good Sister by stating the same old "if you work hard and play by the rules, you can get ahead" bullshit. You know, the rules, like when Daddy Ryan drops dead during your adolescence, you live off his Socialism Security for a few years, then marry some delusional rich blonde. Hey Eddie Munster, where's the "work hard" part?

But as hard to swallow as Ryan's nonsense was, his fellow Wisconsin cheesehead, Reid Ribble (WTF?=Wi) decided to open his bratwurst hole and ask Sister Simone (hmm sound suspiciously French to me) "“What is the church doing wrong that they have to come to the government to get so much help?”. Hey listen, Reid Ribble, despite your Flintstones type name, you are really playing with fire here. Are you fucking nuts? You are going to throw down with a nun? A nun who has Jesus H Christ's ear? You stupid Baptist. You have no idea what you just did. Sassing a nun?

Oh I would've loved to have seen Sister Simone go all Penguin on this guy's ass and rap his knuckles while at the same time pounding his ass with a hairbrush. But that's the good old days. The kind Ribble longs for. He is one lucky son of a bitch. Instead, the new type nun, Sister Simone, simply hit this creep with love. Not that this dumbfuck would know anything about that. Whatya expect from a guy named Reid Ribble? Shit, he doesn't even need a sexting name. Right, Carlos Danger?