Sunday, January 31, 2010

Is Dancing Queen About Queen Elizabeth?

Max and Max's Dad attended a symphony concert last evening featuring the Omaha Symphony and Abba-mania, an Abba tribute band. The sight of conservative Republican old people boogieing to Dancing Queen made me very happy. The same way I smile when I see conservative Republican old people boogie to YMCA at a baseball game. Forgive them, Roy Cohn, for they do not know what they do!

Thursday, January 28, 2010

You Can't Stay Neutral On A Moving Train!

Way back when I was in college at the University of Nebraska, a history professor of mine, knowing of my love of the subject, took me aside and said to me "ya know this is all bullshit, right?" "What's bullshit?" I asked. The prof, just another liberal academic to most of the student body in Lincoln, said "This! History! It's all crap. You want to know what really happened in this country, read this". He handed me a copy of Howard Zinn's "People's History of the United States". I took it home and read it all night. And the next night and on and on (it's a long book). Howard Zinn told the story of America from the little guy's perspective. How the people, or "folks" as Bill O'Reilly refers to them, got screwed over time after time in the nation's history. No more cherry trees and log cabins and noble causes. I was hooked on THIS type of history. The truth.

Howard Zinn died today in California at age 87. I say goodbye to one of the greatest American patriots who ever lived. The status quo be damned and to hell with consequences . Howard was the way I wish all our leaders were. Gutsy and fierce in his beliefs. Oh there's a person of substance or two out there (Sanders and Grayson) , but most of these people are weinies and cowards.

Yeah I know J.D. Salinger went bye-bye today too but other than Catcher in the Rye, what did he ever do to better your mind? Howard Zinn bettered mine, or destroyed it depending on your point of view.

One of the greatest things ever said can be attributed to Howard Zinn. To paraphrase, he said nobody ever dies for their country in war, they die for the politicians who duped them and the corporations who make the money. Bingo!

So long, Professor Zinn. You can check out the DVD, "You Can't Be Neutral On a Moving Train" to see and hear Zinn and his fans. Trust me, no O'Reilly or Hannity will be found on it. Just "folks".

Monday, January 25, 2010

Wanna See My Top Gun?

Andre Bauer is not the guy from Homicide or Men of a Certain Age. That Andre Braugher spells his name more French and doesn't have a closet he likes to hang out in with Lindsay Graham.

Bauer is the Lieutenant Governor of the Palmetto State and recently, in the fine tradition of many South Carolinian politicians, said of government aid recipients, " You're facilitating the problem if you give an animal or person ample food supply. They will reproduce, especially ones that don't think much further than that. And so what you've got to do is you've got to curtail that type of behavior. They don't know any better."

All right, so this moron equates stray animals with people? Well, to give him a bit of credit, Bauer did apologize. To animals!

In this time of selfishness and teabaggers and Limbaugh and Bauer, do we really need this kind of guy in office? He is running for Governor to replace that clueless Mark Sanford. Another Republican soulless bastard. They're all over the place.

Well anyway, I guess we can count on one thing South Carolina taxpayers can be grateful for. They'll never have to subsidy any little Andre Bauers running around.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Stop! In The Name Of Democracy!

The next time one of the United States Supremes goes through airport security, I want at least 5 of the pricks arrested for doing more damage to this nation today than some wedgie-infested misfit with explosives in his crotch ever thought of. Scalia, Roberts, Kennedy, Alito and Thomas decided that poor corporate America, the banks, the insurance industry, Wall Street, have been oppressed in the last century or so because they aren't allowed to take some of their $13 trillion in profits and tell you who to vote for without restrictions. Congratulations to the bastards who ruined the world's economy with their reckless piggery, you now can buy whoever you want. This is really a sadder day for this country than any Al Queda cave-dweller could ever imagine.

Of course the Republicans, with their phony concern for the First Amendment, will benefit the most from this opening of the corporate cash floodgates. John Boehner showed exactly why his last name is what it is while giddily serving his devil masters. You think the attack ads are bad now, well you aint seen shite. Can you imagine the insurance industry attacks this fall? Can you imagine the crack-like oil industry, the Wall Street thieves, or the food industry poisoners unleashed with their billions to lie in attack ads without regulation? Well, you got it, America.

The U.S. Congress is no longer relevant. Take all 535 of them and send them home now. Seat Wal Mart, Exxon, Shell, Monsanto, Phillip Morris, Texaco, Citi, Bank of America, Aetna, Blue Cross, and all the rest of them. No more people need be there since the Supreme Court has decided oligarchies are people too. Certainly at the very least, the whores who will now inhabit the Congress should be forced to wear Nascar-like jackets, complete with every pimp they work for's corporate logo stuck on there plain as day.

These five justices, Alito, Roberts, Scalia, Kennedy and Clarence the clown have made the 9/11 hijackers look like pussbags. It makes me wonder if the five terrorist justices all yelled "Allahu Akbar" right before they blew up democracy?

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Welcome To The Circular Firing Squad!

Nice game, Dems. Only YOU could have pulled this off.

What The Fox?

Fox News is so gawdam giddy the end of Marxism is upon us that Roger Ailes is french-kissing Greta Von Sustren and Bill O'Reilly is trying to get ahold of Andrea Mackris for another falafel fest.

Massachusetts has decided a centerfold best represents their view of the country over a vacationing , smug Democrat. Way to go, Bay State, you now have your own version of the Nitwit of the North. You betcher!

On a positive note, does this mean a former Playboy centerfold could some day become a United States Senator? Think about that. That's what you've done, you chowdaheads!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Centerfolds And Curling Irons! Ouch!

The Commonwealth of Massachusetts is threatening America. What? Massachusetts? They ARE America if you ask me. But the people of this state are perhaps sending that douche bag named Scott Brown to the United States Senate to become the 41st, well 42nd if you count the other douche bag Lieberman, Republican. Oh my god, 41 Republicans in the Senate? It's over for Obama. He's done. It's over.

Jesus, stop whining. If that moron gets to be the Caribou Barbie of the Northeast with his simple talk and down home "folksiness " well so what? I still fail to understand how 41 is greater than 59? If the centerfold gets into the Senate he will become a national joke, except of course among the teabaggers, who just love to holler about "jamming a curling iron up her ass" about the centerfold's lazy-ass Democratic opponent, Martha Coakley. Pardon my Yankee accent but Fuque Them! Let them have their vapid Republican Senator. Massachusetts hasn't sent a Republican to the Senate since they had that sort of black guy, Ed Brooke, who was busy wah-wahing Barbara Walters.

Calm down. 59 to 41 is a significant advantage. So is 58 to 42 and if you throw Ben Nelson in with the Party of No, 57 to 43 is still a winner . Use it, you Democratic pussbags. Nuke these people once and for all.

But all of this is moot if the folks of Massachusetts do the right thing and send those teabaggers back to the sticks where they belong. Vote Coakley, even if she is still sleeping.

Monday, January 18, 2010

It's Spelled Haiti, Not Hatey!

Honestly, I don't know how Ann Coulter keeps those knuckles off the ground while jetting around on her broom. You may notice that the right wing basement dwelling one-handed typing fans of Ms. Coulter think that's hot. Paris Hilton has more hotness in her vapid shell than Anorexic Annie.

But enough about that bulimic bombshell. This last week, the kooks on the teabagging right all decided to weigh in (sorry, Rush) on the earthquake in Haiti. We all know the quotes. Pat Robertson, true story, is a bible thumping charlatan from way back and claims some sort of pact with the devil freed the Haitians from the French. That slave revolt deal really had nothing to do with it. The 10 slaves to every one Frenchie advantage wasn't the reason Haiti freed itself. Oh no, Mr.Robertson thinks the devil made a pact with the Haitians, true story. We all know no people of color could EVER free themselves from white folks without help from a red dude with a pointy tail and a lifetime 700 Club membership. But then, Robertson, true story, is senile and probably lovers with Fred Phelps.

The Reverend Wiley Drake, pastor in some Orange County city of rubes, has backed up Robertson and his tale of devil pacts and voodoo. Drake, you may remember, wanted his Mickey Mouse infested congregation to pray for Obama's death a while back though apparently, true story, he's changed his mind since God doesn't listen to the prayers he thinks are Goofy inspired. He now wants his zombies to pray for Obama's jailing as a "usurper". That there Thesaurus on that e-mail machine sure is handy. Drake, true story, is senile and probably lovers with Pluto.

Then we have Rush. El Rushbo. Harmless little fuzzball. Rush, true story, is a thrice married drug addict with a penchant for Viagra and trips to the little boy-infested Dominican Republic on his private plane. Who cares what he said? It's the oxycontin speaking anyway.

Ann Coulter, true story, isn't really blonde. She is so jealous of her fading looks and the price of whiskey and smokes, she actually wanted Fox News to bring up her "controversial" comments. Something about Bill Clinton and White House kleenex. Total Coulter class. He so funny.

Finally, the new Fox news "commentator". You know, that moose twit from Alaska? Her favorite Founding Father? Asked of her by Fox News' other brain trust, Glenn Beck? Learning nothing from the Katie Couric debacle, true story, Bible Spice claimed "well all of 'em" were her faves. All of 'em. Alaska-speak for "huh?". Then along comes Morning Joe co-host Mika Brzezinski, true story, who says to the same question that Abe Lincoln was her favorite Founding Father. But that is understandable since she's only there to make that dolt, Joe Scarborough, look functional.

There ya go. The worst of us. Thanks to the American public for ignoring these brainless boobs and giving their money to Haiti relief. Christ, even a mouth breather like Sean Hannity ,true story, has a link to help the folks in Haiti on his rant-site. Kudos there, flathead.

Monday, January 11, 2010

It's Alive!!!!

The former Governor of Alaska is joining Fox News? Wow, in other shocking news, Mark McGwire admitted he's a cheater, Harry Reid said a light-skinned guy with no "negro" dialect could be the first black President, Lynne Cheney annoyed George Will with her dishonesty, The Packers lost, and Michael Steele proved once again what "negro" means.

This is fabulous news because now that The Quitta from Wasilla is on Fox News, there is a 0 %chance I will ever have to listen to her again.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Mega Chest Pains There Rush!

There are very few humans on this earth I can honestly say I despise. Hate is such a strong word. Wishing evil on people is so Republican.

Rush Limbaugh III is one of the people I despise. This nerd, this self aggrandizing pig, this hedonist, this egomaniac, this probably very lonely self-loathing man has never shown a quality that would admit him to the human race. What he does is so easy, so cowardly, so utterly inhumane it cannot be measured. The man picks on those weaker than him, different from him,and does it with such joy. that millions of other self-loathing bullies slap their knees and bow to the king whenever he crushes a perceived peasant.

What Mr.Limbaugh did this weekend was have a chest pain while cavorting in Hawaii. Full of himself and perhaps tiny blue pills, El Rushbo went to the hospital where he was listed in serious condition. I actually prayed for his recovery. Not due to any humanity or compassion I feel for this creep, but I need him alive into January of 2010. He's in my death pool entry. Oh you should see the list. Another post perhaps.

Rush recovered, and took the opportunity to politicize his own misfortune by praising health care in the U.S. and bashing the health care bill. Well of course you like it the way it is you selfish prick, you pull down millions to be the bullying bigot you portray on the radio.

A co-worker of mine has a sister who suffered a debilitating stroke last spring. She never really recovered and has been shifted from nursing home to rehab center to home and back to nursing homes and hospitals over the last 9 months. She has fought hard to recover some ability to live a respectable life. She has faced death numerous times and if you believe in such things, she has survived only because of some divine interference. I just happen to think she's probably tougher than a Sizzler steak.

Today, she lost her health insurance. Effective 1/1/10, her insurance company dumped her. Dumped her onto the street. The nursing home has given her a week to pay up or get out. If she was Rush Limbaugh, she could write a check and get the best health care in the world. But she's not. She's just a regular person who worked her ass off for many years to come to this? Are you kidding me? The United States of America allows this to happen? The dittoheads, the teabaggers, the birthers, the Limbaughs don't give a damn if this happens to others. They have theirs and to hell with you.

Sorry my friends. To hell with you. This kind of thing makes me wish there was a hell and everyone of those selfish bastards deserves to go there. Once again, somewhere, when Limbaugh begins his bullying, the deity is throwing up.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Ben Nelson Vs. Herbie Husker!

I've given Ben Nelson a ton of cow manure over the years but when forced to choose between the guy who finally voted to advance a foot in the door health care reform bill along and the typical Nebraskan pictured above, well, thanks a lot there, Ben.

Nelson ran an ad during the religious service known as the Holiday Bowl, mandatory viewing for 100% of anyone living within these borders and strongly suggested for anyone not. I think it was LB001 or something passed back when the Huskers were known as the Bugeaters. Nelson's ad, featuring the helmet-haired "Democrat" seated in front of a fire, open collared shirt and the sincerest look he could muster, allowed Ben to grovel to the guy pictured above, already 8 or 9 Pabsts into the game and screeching about the lousy refereeing even though they led something like 150-0. The only thing Ben could have done to make the plea for sanity any better was if he bit the head off a Barack Obama voodoo doll , or allowed himself to be sacked by Ndomakong Suh on camera.

The ad was typical Nelson, full of false preacher-like concern and lots of sleep inducing rhetoric. I could hear the guys at the Husker Inn or down at the local VFW #75 pulling their heads off the bar and yelling something about "socialism" and telling Clem to remind them to cash their farm subsidy check before Thursday. Yeah, Ben is still full of it. But again, when forced to choose, I folded like a Bill Callahan defense and fell back in like with Big Ben. How could I possibly stay mad at you, Benny boy? At least until the next time you try to screw the entire country over.